Javfly33

Yeah it's only you man wtf you talking about lool Also, i don't think this subforum is the right place to post this.

@James123 ??

There's something "fucked up" that happens in my experience when sometimes I see a couple of cute girls doing a selfie and they upload it to Instagram. I never gave it too much importance, but lately I am getting more close towards they call in spiritual practices: "feeling". And therefore and I am becoming conscious I am having some weird fucking thoughts sometimes when I see this pictures. Before getting close to "feeling" and Actually recognizing that I feel bad when I do, I didn't even want to recognize the thoughts, it's like feeling was protecting me with the thoughts. By basically not even sending me the message that I am feeling bad (this doesn't make any sense sorry) It would be great if nahm give me his output here) When I see this kind of pictures, I feel bad s lot of times. I just realize it more clearly. So I look at thoughts. They say something like "Look how they smile. They are so happy because they are better than you .They are so superior. You can't never have them. They humiliate you. They think you are an inferior, beta, weak scum bag that shouldn't even talk to them". Now that's some weird thoughts. Because I dont remember ever being bullied or humiliated and definitely not by cute girls Lol. Yeah sure I was s little bit special and shy on school but honestly not so much. Like I wasn't any weirdo who would have trauma of being so different or ugly to others that they would get trauma from it. And I have even done some pick up here and there and I have gotten positive feedback from it so I have a *rational understating that I can be attractive to girls if I make the effort and work on myself. So basically what you think this weird perspective of reality is coming from and how you think I can heal (if this is the correct word, because I don't remember being hurt). I feel this perspective is what is causing me some residual anxiety/thought stories and perpetuates the false story of the self, so any advice to clear this out to have a white canvas to work on the rest of my life would be great ? thanks for reading.

I think they are notoriously known by rejecting psychedelics. However this shouldn't mean much to you talking into account that most Enlightments nowdays happen through psychedelics and not because of the methods of this traditional teachers.

No way David Hawkins is this stupid. Sorry if it comes too harsh but come on, categorising the consciousness state of people who lived thousand years ago it's laughable.

@Nahm ?? I would say the only 'issue' here (not even an issue, just something to be aware of to make the process faster ) is that sometimes (hell, most of the time except this week, or after retreats, yoga, or tripping) , it feels like they aren't thoughts about myself, but rather they are about reality. In that case I am left powerless just feeling bad not even knowing WHY . When I am aware enough to go deep into feeling and unveil the thoughts, then is when I discover they are about myself and I can change them. For example in what sense "they think I am a loser" is a thought about me? It's something that they They think. Therefore it's about reality itself . It can't be changed. (I don't actually belief this. Just playing the devil's advocate here)

@EmptyVase That sounds very coherent. And definitely "feels good" because it's about being good NOW. The belief that I need to heal something about the past seems that is more BS from the false self. Nice. Thanks all for the juicy and very insightful answers.

@Loba yeah you are the old user Keyhole. Why you changed your username?

Do you think that every Ego's dream in which God is incarnating, has the same 'purpose' or it varies ? For example in my latest deepest trip I got the sense my whole life story as an ego was meticulously imagined to teach myself about love. My lack of self esteem, 'social anxiety', constant judgements, etc, this that my ego has had and done for all of his life it's not a coincidence. You could say "no, it was because genetics , or because having this parents or having this friends or having this face (I'm not even ugly but just to make a point lol) " blabla... But you are missing that my friends, parents, childhood and genetics are not absolutes. I have imagined them too. To create the perfect Illusion so the dream was coherent and believable. As I said. For what purpose? I as God have imagined this particular dream to teach myself about how immensely perfect and love I am and to remember this. Because you know, it's amazing to remember this. It's the pinnacle of life. But maybe it's because I was just high and I have read too much actualized.org and my mind is making fantasies about it ? I definitely need to go deeper. Now that I now that I am not real and I am God hahaha Blessings ??

@James123 literally ??

Non duality is definitely not the truth. It's a model to understand the interconnectedness of reality. But yeah, it could be flawed. In a lot of ways . The truth can't be a model or theory or ideology as you said.

I think you should go to a doctor. Don't know how doctors are in your country, maybe try different type of doctors.

Seems like a good first time overall ? thanks for sharing

You think there's Truth over here, and that which is going to be found or is aligned with over there. Non duality Not found 404 ☹️

? That went straight to my heart Sorry but that is exactly what doesn't make sense and started me into the spirituality stuff in the first place. The story of being a precise "you" and not another "you" sounded like Catholic animalistic magical thinking..it just makes zero sense. Therefore looking for actual truth about what I am.

Dunt know. It's just a weird intuition I keep getting in deep psychedelic trips.

What is wrong with being alone? You are just thinking that that is bad. But it's actually amazing because it also means you are so United with yourself.

I found out. I'm just talking to myself ?

You sure ?

Because the relationship is too damn obvious to not do it. A lot of my inquiry points to this is nothing but a dream.

@Someone here Does free will exist in the dreams you sometimes have when you go to sleep? Like...is not like in the dream you are deciding move by move or having a thought of "I am going to do this" or "I am going to say this". In that sense there's clearly not free will. In the same sense probably that you . However notice that you are alone dreaming. So "something" must be "deciding" the content of the dream.

Does it matter though? If at the end of the day you know you are love and everything is love? Everything will be reduced to "you". So fuck it if that "everything" includes this form or not. True love only what matters ❤️ Yeah apparently not ?

@zeroISinfinity hahaha. It is interesting 'round here. You are having a great time ? Just talking to yourself right now

Well, yeah I plugged. With the first question I mean, I haven't blacked out yet but it felt I was close.

?