electroBeam
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electroBeam replied to jip's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
@jip notThere is a subtle, yet profound double meaning occurring in Jeb's words, and it seems very clear to me that you haven't picked it up. Jeb himself didn't intend this double meaning, but its what you get from being enlightened. This park Jeb talks about is fun, rides are fun, they generate lovely experiences, though these experiences of fear, excitement, you get from participating in a ride are generated from a false sense of separation, its YOU who may(irrationally) die because the ride is so scary, its YOU who is getting excited from all the bumps and crashes on the ride. This amusement park is fueled by duality. its an emotion, feeling, qualitative experiences of feelings, being generated by another emotion, feeling, thought<- your ego. Happiness in the amusement park isn't working towards your(who you truly are, awareness, not the ego) favour, in other words, its not free to spout out, because its being locked in other thoughts, feelings, the ego. If you become enlightened though, you will not be in an amusement park anymore, you will not have beautiful experiences generated by duality, you will be living with a detachment of emotion and experiences, or you can exaggeratively describe it as a parking lot, you will be living in a world stripped with meaning. And yet your brain and body will not care, because there is no thought/ego telling you that its bad. You will be liberated, with no meaning and happiness, just satisfaction and fulfillment, because there is suddenly no ego game to play anymore. You have, metaphorically completed the video game. And tell me, you crave happiness, you constantly seek it, and being in a world with no happiness and no meaning seems awfully bleak and unattractive to you, but if I told you in this bleak world, you craved no relief of suffering, you did not crave happiness, because you were fulfilled and satisfied, because now you have no thoughts controlling you, is it also true then that this is really the place you want to be? Even though you get no happiness from it? It must be if your satisfaction makes you want to not leave it. Maybe that's the true definition of happiness: unconditional satisfaction. See you are currently in the ego game, and from that angle living without meaning and happiness seems unbearable. The thoughts that are currently in control of your life(I mean the ego and your world view) cannot survive without happiness and meaning, and so negative emotions spill out from the thought. But if you didn't have thoughts controlling you, trust me, you wouldn't give a damn if you were happy or not, as long as you were satisfied and fulfilled. -
Just to be clear here, so aesthetics isn't as important as pics of me having fun and doing interesting stuff? What about the guys who brush their hair, change the contrast of their photos to make them stand out, and wear suits? Or hat backwards? Or shirtless pics of themselves at the beach?. So none of that is important/ as important and I shouldn't worry too much about it? Though the first tinder picture should be a solo picture, any sort of style I need to worry about?
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@Kelley White Very eye opening point Kelly. I'm intrigued by it, I kinda get what people are trying to say now. My tribe may actually be out there, after what you said about your clients Funny you mentioned spread sheets, I actually stayed up till 3 o clock last night(been wasting my time on it for the last 4 days) making a masterpiece of a spreadsheet for my personal development. you type in goals, how much you achieved, tolerance for failure of certain characteristics of a procedure(did you meditate for at least 20 minutes, did you stay still, etc), procedure of what to do etc, and what it does is it makes a gantt chart, which a website mixed with VBA macros sends it to a webpage, where my phone can go on the page and see what I have assigned myself for today. It also automatically gives each goal(and procedure) a grade/how satisfied I should be with the progress and completion of the goal based on inputs I put into it(some real heavy formulas were used in that area), and if its too low I can check out where I failed/expectations were too high, etc. I'm proud of it, but a bit like what your article was hinting, I've just realized its a little inflexible But I do have very mad spreadsheets for cooking too lol, hit me up if you want one I may be missing the point a little, so maybe I'm not being holistic enough, and me doing everything perfectly is impossible, and even if I do, I may be focusing on attracting the girl, instead of making me happy? Even if I didn't interpret it right I've got an idea. Thankyou for your time and effort in helping me, I appreciate it.
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Very nicely crafted Kelly, would go nicely in a poet's booklet. I get what you are saying, manipulation is unsustainable and is not enjoyable, though what if my tribe isn't out there? There are very little girls in engineering(5-15% statistically talking) As an engineering student, I have been taught to not leave things to chance, if you think something isn't going to work, change it and make something as effective and best as you can to push up those chances to a satisfactory level, I call this manipulation. Maybe my fetish for it is due to my way of thinking. It is easier to be authentic, but rewards come from things that are hard, not easy. It just makes logical sense to me, and I like logic. Its very methodological, how to get girls, apply these steps, that have been backed up by evidence, in this certain way, so processy and logical, just like engineering!! You may not fathom it, but I love it!! I also love personal development, and treating dating and relationships as a skill is like working on yourself, and that is what I'm into. after asking a friend for help, he gave me this article: https://blog.bufferapp.com/best-profile-picture-science-research-psychology and this is close to what I am after. Though I have learnt an important lesson about authenticity, and 'catching' higher conscious/more mature girls from this thread
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Leo Gura has advised us in his video How To Find Your Passion to try out different careers, in the same way you try out different food in a buffet, to find your life purpose and interest in life. Though how easy is this to apply to tertiary education, in preparing for a career? What guidelines are there we can take, what process can we follow, that will allows us to choose a degree at university that will target our interests, values and ultimately our life purpose? I am currently struggling to choose a degree at university that will be beneficial for me. I know that in my country we can try 1 unit(or course if you are from the US) as an elective, per semester, and we can choose a unit from any degree. if we like the stuff in the unit, we can transfer from 1 degree to another, though this is impossible after 2 semesters, as the content learnt is too different. This means we only have 1 option in the buffet to try within a semester, before we are locked into our degree for 4 years. This is problematic. Leo's buffet just isn't available in the career setting, and we are left to predict what should our life purpose be. What process should we take to choose a degree, in order for it to value our life purpose?
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its really hard to figure it out! you think, for example electrical engineering will put you in the hands of cool microchips, but instead what my friends have found out is that you are actually forced to sit in a cubicle, drawing boring diagrams on the internet
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Wow that's a lot of degrees, hey at least you can design the clothes you wear, and handle your business while doing your life coaching. and I actually live in Sydney Australia, not Sydney Florida haha. In Australia unfortunately we don't have as many job prospects for the type of interests I have(technical interests) and therefore its really hard to find workshops for certain things, but I will attend as much workshops at the uni I go to(Sydney uni its called, funny enough) and try them out.
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I don't have a lot of experience in the area, but keep in mind relationships are apart of personal development. Growing yourself can really be accelerated by making a relationship work. Leo also suggested to start a relationship, it will "bite your ass" in the future if you hold back
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From what I have heard, authenticity is the process of choosing and deciding options in life that align with your values and what you immediately like doing. From Leo's videos and other sources, being authentic is essential for relationships. Though I am a little suspicious of this claim What if you are a very unique person, so unique that all of your values and interests are not shared with anyone of the opposite(or for some same) sex as you? What if being authentic, involves doing things that are a turn off? What if your authentic self was nerdy, awkward, weird, extremely mature, etc Say instead of being authentic, you manipulated and applied PUA techniques, not for evil but for good, for the needs of both individuals. If you did this you would attract many more individuals than if you were being authentic, and therefore a higher chance of finding the most appropriate individual for yourself. If you were to be authentic though, you could be so unique and weird that your authenticity could turn off every potential partner in the area. Advice about being authentic is like the advice my mum use to give to my sister. Don't put on make up, just use your natural beauty to find someone. But hypothetically speaking, what if my sister was extremely ugly? Being authentic seems like choosing to gamble, to hope that the genes that made your personality is good enough for making a relationship I cannot seem to convince myself that being authentic is the way to go, if you disagree I would love for you to try and convince me that I am wrong
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It seems like a nice fairy tale story, girls attracted to you were in the medical field, those girls brought out a deeper calling from you, and because of that you became a doctor, though unfortunately it is unlikely. keep in mind a few things: - humans tend to find patterns, where in fact none exist. You may find that girls from all fields are attracted to you, though because you are thinking about the medical industry and your life purpose, you may be focusing on the medical girls in particular. Because of this you THINK that only medical girls like you, but in fact it was because you focussed on them more. - men and women can be attracted to each other through a number of ways. You could have certain values or interests unrelated to the medical field that may be generating the attraction, you 2 could flirt well with each other, you may have alpha male characteristics, flow, and other things. Most couples work in different fields. - The women in the medical field may not have interest in their job, and just doing it because their parents told them to, and hence your interests are unrelated. Though if the woman all really love their work, and you connect with them due to medical related values and interests, such as caring for people, making people happy, then yes it could.
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Good point thortho
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How did it set you back? PUA is designed to send you forward, I'm curious
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Yes I totally understand, I was making the point that I feel uncomfortable taking pictures excessively of myself doing activites, which seems required according to the Phocus. But I don't think Phocus agrees with you. He says you need to adapt your lifestyle, I don't think that is being a buyer, but a seller. Let me reiterate what I was looking for in this thread: A lot of PUA articles talk about your dating profile as an advertisement for a service, the point of this thread was to simply ask for some cool techniques that you guys have tried to make good advertisements, what colour pallet? does consistency matter(as an analogy)? I'm after all of the technical details, what causes certain female instincts to trigger for example, not so much the far fetched, spiritual or buyer/seller stuff. I am planning to get to that later. They way I am, me being authentic is a massive turn off(I am a nerd), so I have no choice but to use manipulative tactics. Thankyou actualized community members for your effort into answering this question
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Movies, Bowling, arcade, etc, tennis, stuff you do with normal high school friends. I do these things occasionally but I don't want to start taking pics of myself doing these things like the rest of my friends, posting on snap chat and instagram every 2nd minutes, spending a good half of the day superficially fishing for likes. I find it a little full of yourself and shallow. I'm into personal development, not lets take pictures of our life story and post it on facebook so everyone who doesn't give a crap about our bragging can see it. Will pics going to the movies really help that much? Surely girls know that just because you don't have a pic going to the movies, doesn't mean you avoid the movies. I will start taking pics if I have to, but it feels very uncomfortable, and goes against my values
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I do go out and do stuff, but I go out and do nerdy stuff, like flying radio controlled aeroplanes, live action role place, etc. Thanks for the input
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While this sounds harsh, you helping her and being a 'loyal dog' is in a way hurting her. It is reinforcing to her that she doesn't have to take responsibility for her actions and can rely on you to do it all. Its a bit like when you start feeding some wild bird food every morning, eventually the bird will become dependent of you, and if you stop feeding it, it will die, because it has forgotten how to look after itself. This is what you are doing to your wife. If you truly love her, and you definitely do, I think it will make her(not initially but in the end) happier and more fulfilled if you slowly stop carrying her everywhere and let her stand up on her own 2 feet. You are in a dysfunctional relationship atm, she is using you for selfish needs, not intentionally, and you need to break away from it slowly.
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Im the same as you a lot but try Leo's procrastination techniques(his videos on it), Also make yourself accountable for your failures.
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It definitely might, and probably will, but don't forget watching Leo's videos are just as prone to procrastination as much as this forum. I like the journal idea Leo has added. Personally, I think Leo would benefit by giving each account a little diary section where individuals can write their daily achievements and efforts down they did relating to personal development. If these, or at least part, of these journals were public it could provide competition and show each other what is possible. "Oh look at how much he did today, I'm going to have to step up my game!" it makes people organized too
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Thankyou guys for the advice, very appreciated
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I'm in a similar position to you. My point of view with all of this is that if you want something, you have to get off your ass and work for it. If you want to solve a math problem, you have to find ways to manipulate it, techniques to fit the requirement you need. If you want to have a caring and loving relationship, you have to learn techniques to obtain that. Pick Up are certainly techniques that can do that. Of course though, the techniques are just tools. You can use them for good(high conscious activities) or bad(low conscious activities), if you want to self actualize, everyone is convincing you to use the former decision.
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I will try my best to give them, not entirely sure, Interests are: - I enjoy seeing how things works, how things fit into and with each other - helping society, giving society a convencience or making them more happy and productive. - integrated advanced systems, such as ecosystems, how we fit in with ecosystems, how technology does, improving those systems, making them better - philosophy( all of it) - autonomous systems such as robotics - politics - quantum physics - inventing processes and steps values are(apart from libertarian values, which is obviously from how I have been brought up by our education system): - helping society as a whole integrate more smoothly and happily - helping the environment and animals from harm and torture - bringing peace - being kind and peaceful to others - (I am being very honest here) using manipulation as much as possible as long as it helps make a more caring loving society, and is within moral values that provide a sustainable model that advocates awareness(going up the clare graves model ladder). - forming strong bonds with people, and being as caring as possible. sorry for it being ambiguous and thankyou for the help. If it is too vague please let me know
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thankyou Ayla for your advice, I do have neg thoughts of boringness and weirdoness so it could be
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electroBeam replied to Simon Zackrisson's topic in Spirituality, Consciousness, Awakening, Mysticism, Meditation, God
I can see what you mean, the reason why we are afraid of death is not because we are afraid of losing our body, but because we are afraid of losing our self image. Enlightenment intellectually is losing the ego, and death is essentially losing the ego(from a thoughty, intellectual perspective) Though Leo gave some good advice above ^ I will just add that Alan Watts agrees with Leo, enlightenment also involves the realization that death as we intellectually see it is impossible, he states that enlightenment apparently shows you that lack of experience cannot happen, and reincarnation exists; another way of saying that lack of experience cannot occur. So according to Alan Watts, and adding to Leo's comments enlightenment is not like death, enlightenment is detaching from the ego, the ego still exists though you are 'detached' and see its true colours, and death is losing the ego in its entirety, you do not see it for what it really is or detach from it. Though anyone's intellectual interpretation of the above is a vivid story compared to the real scenario, I probably don't have to assert this but take caution