Preety_India

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Posts posted by Preety_India

  9. Posted

    @Gesundheit2 for me it's like I can't truly hate anyone for too long. I'm not pretending to be  Saint here. Maybe it's my memory I don't know. But I usually get angry about something, I bark at that person, I go into these stressed out states and I express my anger and hate. But this doesn't last forever. After a week, I almost forget all of that. It's not that l love the person again, but I also don't hate them. I don't live in that punishing mindset. If they talk to me, I talk to them again, like nothing happened. 

    I truly cannot hold hate forever. I feel sorry for myself if I did that. I feel like I'm commiting a crime if I hate someone. My conscience starts to feel guilty if I keep holding a grudge 

    And the other phenomenon that happens is that I develop this insane amount of love (maybe this is because of my trauma) but I develop this insane amount of affection for those that I might have been friends with or have loved before, so even if I got angry at them, it diffuses later and my love for them is even more than before. Like even if they wanted to kill me, I would allow that too. Because I just cannot take someone being hurt because of me, it starts to eat me from inside. And I keep craving for their forgiveness. 

    I simply wish everyone could just love and respect each other and never have any grudge or hate or anything bad against anyone. 

    If I had to wish something bad on someone, it would make me insanely guilty to the point of me being sick of myself. I just can't. 

    And no this is not me being any Saint. No. It's just that deep down, hate doesn't make any sense to me. 

    I always get this question in my mind - would i want to see the person I hate dead and wounded? And that immediately creates a lot of pain inside of me. Because, I simply cannot allow that. I can't see them dead. That's when I'm like - ok let go. I shouldn't hold this hate. My mind is like - "it's ok, just wish good and every person deserves to live, good or bad." 

     

  12. Posted

    Shouldn't spirituality or any spiritual practice mean that you stop hating and cultivating love? 

    Am I the only person on planet earth that no matter what you do to me, after a period of time I let go or forget and forgive and move on and am completely alright talking to people. 

    Holding grudges? 

    I have held grudges too. But I'm not punishing towards people. 

    How is your spirituality so refined if you cannot truly let go? 

     

  13. Posted

    V constantly reminds me of that I'm his wife. That I should not look at other men. I'm his bride. 

    He fucks me really hard so that I don't run to other men. 

    I'm so insanely attracted to V

     

    His sex feels like heaven. 

    He rams into me at full speed. 

     

    So I don't complain. 

    Sometimes I want V to spank me if I behave out of line. 

    V I'm your spank baby. Spank me harder next time. 

     

     

  14. Posted · Edited by Preety_India

     

     

    Hate-me-pleaseuninhibited

    work-work-work-work/

    getting-out-of-the-mindfuck-im-in

    i-will-love-her-until-the-day-after-forever

    getting-my-lost-abilities-back

    mahakaala-and-vishnu-my-personal-protector

    preetys-bubble-worldpreety-loves-you

    nirvana

    practicing-empathy

    current-mood

     

     

     

    loving-a-bipolar-person

    my-psyche-sensitive-content-trigger-warning

    difference-between-bipolar-and-bpd

     

    psychology-101

    the-subject-of-evil

     

  17. Posted

    @petar8p maybe it's time for you to get lost from my journal. I am not a slave to your compliments. 

    Too many men compliment me everyday. Fakers. Too many men have messed with my heart and my head. The only thing I didn't allow a man to mess with is my pussy and I'm still a virgin and I'm very glad that I'm a virgin. 

    Now how about if you please fuck off 

    I'm tired of men trying to seduce me into something that they cannot be bothered to abide by. 

    I'm a free bird.

    The only man who can have me is the man who wifes me. 

    Others can get lost 

     

    I don't need your cheap deals. I  am not your whore

     

    Find a tree to fuck. Go. 

    I am not hungry for your compliments or anything else for that matter. 

    Go.