billiesimon

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Posts posted by billiesimon

  3. Posted

    Ooooook..... You don't even know me and the values that I have, and you have already decided that I unconsciously spread sexism and contribute to the problem lol. That's so offensive in regard to all the emphasis I put in my life to be accepting and non-judgemental of everybody's sexuality but... ok... I'm the problem. I'm the ignorant bigot.

    My bad. Thanks for the patience of taking part in the discussion. I sincerely appreciate the exchange. Have a nice day.

  4. Posted

    12 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    If you don't want uncomfortable answers, don't ask uncomfortable questions. 

    I never said that. I just made a point about the actual social freedom you have, but you don't want to acknowledge. Who cares if some old man from the 1930s doesn't like your sexuality? I've been shamed a lot by christians years ago, and also for my open sexuality. WHO CARES. I have the law on my side, and you too. Leave them alone. I'm here to hear these uncomfortable truths, if you please tell me.

    Still you don't get that I'm on your side though :) 

  5. Posted

    35 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    I'm not arguing with you or trying to point fingers. You read it that way because it's probably what you expect. 

    Yes, I expected it. Because nowadays nobody cares about leading a rich and fullfilling life, loving people and accepting everybody.

    Now the trend is to scream and hate everybody. Liberals, conservatives, libertarians, etc... It's all screaming. It's all about "me me me me". "muh problems". It's not about the gift you can give to the world, it's not about the neutral playing field that we can create together, for world peace.

    It's all about smashing cars and starbucks windows with antifa.

    Sucks.

  6. Posted

    17 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    I'm not arguing with you or trying to point fingers. You read it that way because it's probably what you expect. I don't think you're a bad guy at all. I just think you have blindspots. So, I was just trying to answer your original question to make you aware of why people are acting like they are to give you more context.

    But, I assumed that you were heterosexual because most people are, quite frankly. Plus, your post made it seem like you're a guy concerned about dating women in the modern world. So, I just assumed that you were. But if you're not, I apologize for assuming. I'm bi-sexual myself. 

    Also, I'm not assuming that you've had an easy life. I'm only assuming that you've never experienced the experience of being woman. And with that, I assume that you haven't dealt with the sexuality and dating landscape from the vantage point of a woman, which has very specific perils that men don't have to deal with. It is these issues, that men often get uncomfortable about and don't like to talk about. 

    But it isn't just willful assholes that contribute to these patterns. The real culprit is unconsciousness. So, even peaceful and caring guys can unwittingly allow and even contribute to these negative patterns without meaning to. So, everything that I've written to you so far is not meant to be a personal indictment. It has been an attempt to show you that you have some blind spots.

    The first thing is to let go of the limiting belief that everything always needs to be 100% equal to be fair. Sometimes blind mechanical equality can enforce pre-existing inequalities. 

    But it's perfect that you're an agnostic for the analogy. So, Christianity is the most popular religion and Christians get certain privileges in society that people who are agnostic (or any other non-Christian religious orientation) don't get. Because Christianity is so popular, they tend to run with the idea that their religion is best, without being checked on it too much. And they can often think that they're being discriminated against, just by people having a different set of religous beliefs.

    So, it can be an uncomfortable situation, for example, to be at a public event when everyone bows their head a prays to Jesus. It makes it a social expectation to conform to Christian norms. Or if a Christian person confronts you and asks you what your religion is or tries to convert you, it can be a very uncomfortable experience where you might be tempted to lie just to avoid it. 

    Now, not all Christians are like this. And certainly, most of the Christians that are like this mean well. But it doesn't make the experience any more comfortable for non-Christians. 

    So, if you as an Agnostic complained about that and noted your experience to a Christian. 

    And then the Christian didn't really address your experiences and just answered with, well not all Christians are like that. Anyway, I believe that everyone should be able choose whatever makes you happy and so should Christians. So, those bad Christian shouldn't do that. But it's also important for the non-religious not to Christian-shame too. There are bad people on both sides.

    But they are not really being empathetic and they aren't really listening. They are just trying to defend themselves and the thing they're identified with. The conversation is meant to shift the focus from real problems to their problem with the solutions. 

    I'm not trying to be confrontational but this just proves my point :) 

    I don't give a fuck what a muslim or a christian or a jew would say. It's my life. Got a problem with that? Go pray your allah. (not you, it's just an example :) )

    If a christian says that I have a right to believe in what I want he's JUST RIGHT. It's not him defending himself, you're just distrusting people. He's just right on the facts. Who cares who says the facts straight? they are the right facts. If a terrorist says that you have a right to live, he IS right. Even though he is a terrorist. Who the fuck cares what other people think, You care too much.

    If all people had the same mentality like me NOBODY would shame other individuals. There would be no latent sexism, 

    And no... i don't have blindspots. If i see a muslim guy shaming a woman, I SEE sexism. I SEE IT. I DON'T like it. I don't want these people around women. I don't have no fucking blindspots, sister :D i just want to encourage people to be empathetic and positive and NON-judgemental.

    If we start to point finger to eachother... it's never going to end!!! Radical fems have to stop pointing fingers at normal positive guys, because these are the guys who just want women to live a happy and fullfilling life, rich of experiences, love, sex, money and success.

    Society is shaped by mindsets, and by consensus. The consensus we need is to normalize social freedom for everybody: men, women, gays, heteros, lesbians, trans etc. Normalizing means NOT talking about it and encouraging people to be themselves.

     

    What you call sweeping under the rug it's actually called rewiring society with positive values. If we all start to act like everynody has the same value, we will ALL get the same value, The old fashioned peace and love <3 nonetheless I'm still the bad misogynist guy who treats women like property :D 

     

    P.s. I think that if you knew me in person you would categorize me immediately as a very very liberal person towards women. But here you are misunderstanding me, since it's the internet xD 

  9. Posted

    9 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    I understand that you don't have any malice in your intentions at all, and I know you're not attacking me. So, I moreso see your post and the ideas in it as a mild outgrowth of the larger system that creates blind spots. Basically, I see you as thinking un-systemically and taking a narrow view on the issue causing you to have blind spots. So, I'm trying to communicate to you why things are the way they are, and show you that you're taking a narrower view on the issue than is beneficial in hopes that you will zoom out a bit more.

    I get why you're all about what you call "true equality". I used to have the same exact belief. Just treat everyone the same and it will be fair. But while that idea would make perfect sense in an equal society, which you probably assume we have like I did before I became more aware. But in an unequal society (which is the reality) it's just becomes a feel-good platitude for those who have it quite good already and don't realize the struggles that others are dealing with. It's a way to sweep problems with fairness under the rug and not address issues that affect real people's lives. These ideas of equality mostly function in ways that keep people in an inherently better position in their comfort zone and assured of their own goodness, while washing their hands of systemic societal problems. 

    Also, I've never heard of people engaging in "hetero-shaming", and if there are people doing that it isn't typical of the LGBTQ community. There's FAR more of the opposite. So, focusing on hetero-shaming which isn't a systemic issue EQUALLY to focusing on discrimination of LGBTQ community which is a systemic issue, is inherently unequal and unfair to people in the LGBTQ community who deal with discrimination all the time. Versus straight people who have to actually do a Google search titled "hetero-shaming" to actually find evidence of it.

    Ask yourself, has anyone in your life every shamed you for being heterosexual? Have you ever lacked representation in the media as a heterosexual? Did your parents ever disown you for being heterosexual? Did you ever get bullied for being heterosexual? 

    So, it's focusing on a non-issue to obscure a real issue. So, it's focusing too much on the smallest potatoes and missing the biggest ones. That's probably why people get mad at you. If someone is in Green, they may even assume that you're being intentionally hateful due to their lack of perspective.

    So, I agree that it would be ideal if everyone could be free and happy. But society has barriers to freedom and happiness built into it, and ignoring it with sunshine and rainbows platitudes like "let everyone be free and happy" just ignores this fact and allows for those barriers to continue to exist. 

    I may have a better example for you to illustrate the blindspots. Do you happen to be an atheist or follow an uncommon religion? 

     

    I want to be honest, I don't like the finger-pointing energy coming from your posts xD but I get it that you want to fix these issues, I get it and I like it.

    But... why are you assuming that I'm the bad guy?

    Why are you assuming that I'm hetero?
    Why are you assuming that I've had it EASY in life?

    This is a HUGE blindspot. NOBODY has an easy life. Not even rich people. Life is harsh to everybody, in different ways. I've always been mocked for being skinny, a little bit feminine, too sensitive to be a boy, and all that crap. Yet you assume that I've had it easier than women.

    Nobody has it easy. This is true equality, it's called life. Life is hard, and life always finds a way to traumatize you. My family treated my badly, so did a lot of my teenage friends. 
    Stereotyping men as bullies and women as victims is just pure ignorance. Let the guilty ones be judged by their ACTIONS, not their sex. I've never treated a girl badly, and so did a lot of my friends. Are there bad men out there? YES! are there bad women out there? YES!

    Should we stop it? YES! 
    But the solution is not to shame me because you assume that I'm hetero and that I've had it easy. 
    This shit about having it easy triggers me a LOT I want to be honest xD I've had a lot of issues in my life and in my psyche, it's very disrespectful to treat me like a privileged noble class.

    Peace :) 

  10. Posted

    18 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    And 99% of Orange guys don't know pick-up, so they are the boring logical nerd guy who cannot get laid.

    Oh yeah, that's completely true! 

    @Emerald a trigger warning relationship with you xD (i'm joking)

    I think that PUA mixed with compassion and peaceful attitude towards the world is very effective and constructive in a relationship. 
    I'm talking about mixing a deep understanding of female psychology with true compassion and heart. And intimate - caring sex.

    With orange energy I mean the attitude of excitement and polarizing male - female energy, not the robotic rational vibe of classic orange. I agree with you on that.

    I'm talking about a healthy mix of the two stages. I've had a very very deep and honest connection with my last gf thanks to this mixed stage I'm in right now :)

  11. Posted

    14 minutes ago, Emerald said:

    Third-Wave Feminists are usually sex-positive and support body positivity and fat acceptance. They are pro-freedom of sexual expression for everyone regardless of gender identity or sexual orientation. They are also usually accepting of polyamory. And they disapprove of double standards against women being promiscuous, and dislike slut-shaming. And many support sex workers and want the profession to be legalized and safer.

    So, Greens are actually radically accepting of sexuality in all shapes and forms... except if it encroaches upon the lives of others. So, they have discovered the pattern of rape culture which is an outgrowth of the stages before it that see female sexuality as a commodity and the woman as an object and not a subject that still flows as a strong undercurrent through society.

    Bottom line is, the problem is that women have to deal with a lot of issues relative to sex that men don't have to deal with and that men usually aren't aware of. So, unaware men usually end up stepping on women's toes in various ways and going over boundaries. Or some don't even care or hate women and want negative things to happen to them. So, because these experiences are so common and sexual harassment and misogyny is just a given if you're a woman, there are many Green initiatives to fight against this problem.

    The issue is that many Orange men are usually unconscious to these social patterns, given that they don't know what it's like to experience it firsthand. And they're also likely to equate female interest with their own worth, seeing female sexuality as an object and hot commodity to enhance their status. Then Blue men shame women for having sexual feelings or any divergence from monogamy. Then Red men don't care and will just do whatever they want without any qualms about what women think because they see women as property. 

    So, men from these stages will be very unsympathetic to the struggles women go through and will make initiative like #metoo all about them and the restriction of their own freedom, without considering the state of society that produced so many "metoo" stories. They'll be like, "But what about my sexual desires?" and will even conjecture that women are making things up always assuming the perpetrator to be innocent of sexual misconduct and the accuser guilty of false accusation. 

    But as a woman who was molested as a child by an older child and who has woken up three times in my teenage years to three different full grown men trying to do things to me in my sleep (and countless other minor experiences ranging from mild catcalling to outright stalking threats), this concern for men not wanting to date just isn't a priority compared to the broader social issues and their unique effects on me as a person. So, Greens gets very angry at Oranges especially for prioritizing their desires over the physical, psychological, and emotional safety of women.

    That's why all the blue haired ones are always pissed off and yelling at everyone and jumping up and down like yo yos. But it's not because they're anti-sex. Quite the contrary. It's because they see that some people are taking up all the room in the collective "bedroom", leaving little room for others. 

    I deeply appreciate the response and I feel sorry and empathetic for your past. I have been bullied in the past and have had a lot of issues with people, so I understand your struggles with corrupted people in the past. I want everybody to feel safe.

    I just get this feeling that you're treating me like one of those "arrogant" guys out there LOL. 

    It's the same feeling that I get when I talk about TRUE equality with some "feminists". They get triggered. And I don't get why! 

    We should all stop talkin about evil this and evil that, and just learn to love everybody, regardless of their gender.
    Even all this hetero-shaming is insane. Let gays be gays, let heteros be heteros. What the heck is the problem?!? 
    That's why, even though I AM half green, I don't get what these activists are doing. Just let everyone be gay, lesbians, or hetero. Who cares what you are?! Be what you want to be, be free, be happy! And also let me live my life without shaming my sex and my orientation.

    I'm not attacking you :P I just want people to be free of judgement, not to turn the pendulum the other way into an all female perspective. Also I don't like an all male perspective. Just let everybody do the fuck they wanna do!! Without harassing people of course. But let's just stop talking about it like it's a problem of MEN. It's not a problem of MEN. It's a problem of SOME people, of some individuals, who are ignorant and arrogant and intolerant. 

    Let the other men be free and happy. So be the women.
    Peace xD

  12. Posted

    Definitely a lot of great insights!

    In my humble experience of getting to know girls with dates and also conversations with random girls at the bars, I see that the fully orange girl is the worst!

    It might sound retarded, but as a orange/green guy myself, I find the blue or blue/slight orange girls the best ones. They are loving, caring, respectful of your boundaries, and are fascinated by your more evolved understanding of the world. Also they have a hidden sex drive that they can explore with you if you are between orange/green. 
    Green girls... I've had only one experience and she was mostly polarized (in a good way) by my orange side, because she felt excited by it by contrast.

    Fully green guys are too feminine in my opinion. They don't bring excitement to the woman, only positive feelings, but not so much polarizing emotions. Girls also need to be with the energetic guy who can bring her to excitement and a little bit of drama. Being overly feminine turns women off.

  13. Posted

    This is mainly a question I have for Leo and for the advanced people here, because I'm still puzzled and can't undestand this.

    I'm not demonizing green, I'm somehow half orange half green, and a huge pacifist myself.

    For what I can see, orange stage is all about freedom of sex and love, living fast, living young etc. This enabled the rock and roll lifestyle for both men and women.

    What I start to see these years is that green stage is trying to limit the dating freedom by accusing everyone of BS harassment, in such a way that boys are becoming stifled and scared of dating. Isn't this kind of green thinking a defect of this stage? 
    The feeling that I get is that some excesses of green stage might turn into a matriarchy with women becoming entitled to every guy's money and men becoming scared and stiff interacting with them. I'm not using a MGTOW argument, since I'm not one LOL. I like getting to date and know a girl intimately.

    I'm just asking. Since I don't undestand why green isn't promoting free love and sex like orange was doing. I see a lot of shaming of sexuality, random allegations of harassment without evidence, and all that. Also all this blabbering about men being evil is just insane.

    I think that a true green stage should be about loving everybody, not just women. 
    Share your insights.

  14. Posted

    On 27/6/2018 at 3:13 AM, Leo Gura said:

    @billiesimon Sounds like you're 50% Greenish.

    Most of my viewers are probably Greenish. Because Orange viewers would go watch Tai Lopez -type videos instead. I'm too metaphysical for them.

    When an Orange person hears the word "spirituality" or "God", he runs for the hills. I should probably stop using those words.

    Am I 50% green even though I watch Tai lopez too? xD I'm very conflicted because I only like the green ideologies who are completely peaceful, and respectful of property and free speech. 

    I also like Teal Swan A LOT, and RSD lol. And I get triggered very very hard by social justice, terrorism and antifa LOL. And the conservative tendency to bring war to the world too. I'm also strongly against the military draft.

    Very conflicted orange/green xD

  15. Posted

    11 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Cause most people on YT and in the West are Orange.

    Of course many Green people watch me too.

    Fully overcoming Orange isn't easy cause it's the predominant culture of our time. Even much of personal dev is Orange.

    As my channel evolved over the last year or two, I've probably alienated many solid Orange people with my mystical talk. So maybe now I have more Green people. Who can say? The majority of viewers stay silent. The wisest, most Yellow viewers probably don't ever post a comment, which skews my understanding of my audience.

    I still don't get where I'm at in the spiral, precisely.

    I think of myself as high orange, around 85% orange and 15% green. I started following you years ago for success goals and success psychology, but I like your meditation and consciuousness videos a lot. I'm fascinated by enriching human kind with a new form of consciousness and healing this world from war and conflicts. I'm also very concerned with the economical well being of the world, of course. But I definitely have a small percentage of green which is made of accepting every kind of people, except the ones who threaten my life or my freedom.

    I also like affection and human contact a lot, relationships, intimate sex etc. Which is my greenest part overall.

    But I think that a lot of your viewers are like me, orange people with a little taste for green thinking which can evolve.

  16. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    I'm doing meditation, still a beginner, and following Leo's and Eckhart's content. Learning to be present, to be conscious of my habits and thoughts.

    I've certainly discovered a whole lot of uncounsciousness in my life, and I'm still at the beginning.

    But what I don't undestand is... if we all are the same Consciousness, the same Universe....

    What's the point of all this suffering, pain, hate, confusion, and ego in the world?

    Can't we/the universe just be happy all the time in Presence? what's the point in dealing with all this bullshit nonsense of existential suffering and separation from the wholeness of existence?

    I don't get it. It's so irrational and stupid... If I had the choice between peace and happiness, and pain and frustration, I would choose the first ones. Why is the universe choosing all this chaos and division?

  17. Posted

    3 hours ago, Spiral said:

    @billiesimon  Do you know what is the cause for the nice guy syndrome? (Actual question, I really don’t know). I just find it fascinating.

    It's social conditioning.

    We are generations raised by women, and women value security and conformity a lot. Thus they educated us and our fathers to be losers who conform to social norms.

    The nice guy is the default man of today and it's a byproduct of mothers and female education. Breaking free of it is a powerful form of emancipation from women, and this is why it's attractive.

    Women are also scared of male freedom because their instinct is to trap you. Don't let them.

    Also watch fight club, Tyler talks about it.

  18. Posted

    On 14/5/2018 at 5:56 AM, aurum said:

    It can be done in a way that's Win/Win and leads to personal / spiritual growth.

    Really what it comes down to is what is your intention?

    Think of pickup as a tool, like a hammer. You can hit yourself in the head with it or you can use it to build something amazing. That's up to you.

    But this idea that pickup is inherently bad and selfish is totally misguided.

    I completely agree with you. I'm new to the game and I'm benefiting from losing my nice guy syndrome, and connecting with my core. 

    But what do you think about Leo's rant on the PUA community?

  19. Posted

    15 minutes ago, Ether said:

    Lmao. How many women you been with? Im not saying the ones you been dont like a "feminine" man, im saying the ones I know like a "masculine" man

    I have no problem saying two girlfriends.

    Can you sincerely say that these women you date are NOT trying to shit test you, frame control you, make you jealous, play female tricks on you, and try to tame you into a provider male? If not... well, you found the unicorns.

  20. Posted · Edited by billiesimon

    On 17/5/2018 at 6:01 PM, Barbarian Number 8 said:

    @billiesimon 

    No it wont. But it will be females that are masculine instead, kind of switched places with gender and attribute.

    Althou this is most likely something that just can flourish in a civilization with aboundance.

     

    Also if you consider the Japaneese "Herbivores" , one might guess it will limit births.

     

    The pendulum have now swung over to the other extreme. I think it will settle in the middle after that.

     

     

     

    @Barbarian Number 8  so your theory is that the end goal of human kind is for men to lose their masculinity and women become masculine? What kind of fucked up world is that?

    What's the point of having masculine females and feminine males? it's going to cause human extinction. Which is starting to become appealing since all the decay we are seeing nowadays.

  21. Posted

    30 minutes ago, zoey101 said:

    It sound like she is just playing with your relationship... I've known a few girl who are only interested in seeing how far they can push a man before he snaps.. Not healthy at all.

    As much as this part sucks, you can't decide what she does and who she is with. If your social circle is that tight knit, it really shouldn't be surprising that she is with someone from your group.

    If you feel like you are no longer a part of it, nor do you want to be, then let them go. There are over 6 billion people on this planet. you won't die if you lose this handful. Just try and figure out what you want. 

    Don't let this girl run your life! She isn't letting the situation effect her so why should you? The universe has so much to offer and show you, but you won't see any of it if you let this girl block your view. I just don't see any point in giving anyone that much power over your life and happiness when they clearly don't care about it.

    Hope you find some peace! 

    It's a very wise and clear response.

    Thanks.

    The most insightful part is not letting others dictate my life. I'm going to inquire into this concept and start to let this go.

    I'll go out and find new people. I think the universe wants me to lose my ego about this ex and this group (which caused me other issues in the past).

  22. Posted

    4 hours ago, aurum said:

    Yes it's okay.

    It's not that a certain amount of support and affection aren't important in relationships. They're extremely important. But they have to be coming from the right place, which is what I mentioned in the previous comment.

    Thanks man! It's important to me to give something to my partner in a relationship. In my previuous one this aspect was very disfunctional and now I need to work on my game and on my emotional fitness.

    But will she give you the support back if she's in the healthy relationship you describe?

  23. Posted

    I've watched Leo's video about breakups, but my situation has particular issues not described in the video.

    I broke up with her peacefully on october, and we stayed friends because we have the same social group. On the first days of january she freaks out after an argument with me and blocks me on every social media. I avoided her since that time, going out with my peers only the days she was not there (she is with them only twice a month). 
    Recently she unblocked me and sent to a friend of mine a message for me saying that she is now perfectly peaceful with me and that it's ok for her to see me and to talk with me, but she refused to contact me directly.

    Now i still don't contact her, I'm still afraid of talking with her and seeing her, so I keep avoiding all the nights out with her. Some days ago she personally added me on a whatsapp group for a party organized by her. So it's clear she is now perfectly friendly with me. 

    Now this is the hard part: she recently started a relationship with a guy in MY SOCIAL GROUP. So they are a couple inside my social group. This news completely fucked up my ego and i feel completely defenceless and vulnerable, and afraid. Also it's been months that I don't like my social group anymore and want to leave, and in fact I see them rarely now.

     

    What do you suggest? should I avoid entirely my ex, even though she is happy to restart seeing me as a friend?

    And what about her relationship with the guy in my group? It hurts a lot. I'm not in love with her anymore but it's like shoving in my face that I'm just replaced like a tampon. If she found another guy from another group I would have been ok.

    My first instinct is to run away from the social circle, that I don't like so much anymore, and dedicate myself to pickup and building a new one.

    What do you think?

  24. Posted

    21 hours ago, Paulus Amadeus said:

    Dude to have the relationship you have to have these two things in place:

     

    1. Be a sexy, interesting, loving and charming dude (and be an 'alfa male' etc etc etc)

    2. Find a loving, sweet girl who likes you for you

    Most girls are selfish just like most people are selfish. They are not in a point in their self-development where they can care for anybody else then themselves. If you yourself are also in this camp than you have no chance of finding a girl who is actually capable of loving. 

    There are definitely some girls out there who have what you want. But most girls don't. No matter how alfa you get. These girls might suck you dick but they will never love you. Cause they only care about themselves. So you got to start developing an intuition for seeing which girls are capable of loving and which aren't. And then if you are lucky in the future you will find yourself in some beautiful relationship.

     

    You will have to be capable of truly loving too though, which you probably aren't. These girls are in high demand because people can sense their loving and sweet nature. So you really need to be a pretty awesome and loving guy to get one of these. 

     

     

    Thanks dude.

    Are they so rare that it's almost impossibile to find them?

    Yes, I'm working on myself and I'm willing to improve. But is it possible for a normal guy like me to find them?

  25. Posted

    21 hours ago, Frylock said:

    You're still not explaining what type of behaviors you're actually doing.

    Don't be a cold fish. That's a reaction, and not the way to go. But don't be needy and overbearing, and give your loyalty before anyone has done anything to really earn it.

    My usual behaviour is listening to her problems (I used to, since I'm single now), giving her acceptance for her faults, giving advice, and helping out when she needed it. I have a general attitude of being affectionate and undestanding, I sometimes spent an entire hour listening to her feelings of being lonely or about a fight with her friends. Other behaviours of mine are being almost always ready to help her out, and I generally like to hug a lot.

    The part that pisses me off is the fact that they do not reciprocate my genuine effort to be undestanding and present.