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Posts posted by billiesimon

  1. 8 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

    I'm so tired of every little thing being labeled as toxic. Guys could fight and throw a few punches without it being a bloody violent mess or they could have a verbal fight. I'm so done with all this judgement bullshit. Like get a better job than constantly criticising and jumping on people over little things and making a mountain out of it. Grow a bone maybe. 



    Too much disfunction. 

    I'll have a nice meal instead. 

    Peace -_-

  2. 4 hours ago, Preety_India said:

    @something_else it feels hot because it means you had the balls to do something that got you kicked out, something that most guys won't even try. 

    If it's sexual harassment, that's really bad. 

    But if it's something like fighting another dude over a girl or getting into a brawl to save a girl from getting hurt, omg that's hot. 

    Only few men have the balls to do something radical in social situations. 

    Most guys act like pussies anyway. 


    Toxic masculinity is attractive to toxic femininity 9_9

    Violence (and attraction to it) is a huge red flag in men and women. Huge subconscious anger issues.

  3. 2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Well, there are really only two options:

    Either God is fully awake or God is dreaming.

    So if you ain't fully awake you are dreaming, and you will continue to dream until you become fully awake.

    I expect that most people on the planet are so far from awakening that even death will not fully awaken them. So they will keep dreaming many more dreams.

    And remember, there is nothing wrong with dreaming. You can dream as long as you like. If you want to dream 100,000 lifetimes, have at it.

    So advaita vedanta might be right on samsara. 

    I tend to see reincarnation as BS because God seems to know it will recognize itself once the ego dies. That's because during awakenings/glimpses I feel like I have already planned everything. 

    So... My guess is that God doesn't reincarnate in a loop.

    It might reconnect with its true nature at the end of every ego's lifespan.

    Why should the ego awaken for God to come back to singularity? 

    God recognizes itself clearly once the false self is dead, or transcended by spiritual work. So... I'm still very skeptical about samsara... Seems like a fairytale. Pretty absurd to create other dreams and other dimensions without coming back home to design them :ph34r: isn't it?

  4. 3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Not all knowledge can be direct consciousness. You cannot have 100% certainty about everything in this work. Science is often uncertain about things. There is no reason why consciousness could not dream a series of dreams back to back. This is highly likely.

    Is this what ancient hindu sages meant with samsara and reincarnation when a person is not enlightened? 

  5. 2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    @BlackPhil You are correct that even though the ultimate destination is Infinite Love/Godhead, that does not necessarily mean that everyone will go there directly. There could be many longer paths. It really depends on how conscious one is.

    At the highest level of consciousness death simply does not exist and it never even happens. But at lower levels of consciousness it seems to happen and it could be followed by other dreams. So in practice not everyone who "dies" goes to Absolute Infinity. They might go down some rabbit hole of consciousness. And the rabbit holes of consciousness could be infinite in number.

    What? What do you mean?

    Why should not a dead ego merge back in the singularity?
    Once the false self disappears, your true identity should be clear to itself.

  6. It's been several days since I've had this massive shadow work crisis. I'm cleaning up major childhood trauma, and these last days I've been feeling sad and deeply introspective. 

    This is not an awakening episode, it's more of a contemplative inquiry into the nature of the ego self and The Self. 


    Others and the "outer world" are just a mirror of me. This has been noticed over the course of several months, and probably amplified by several psychedelic basic awakenings. 

    As I've seen my ego become more and more positive, pure, peaceful and clean, I've noticed how others and reality has become more like me. 

    But it has always been like me. 

    I have noticed how the violence in the world is reflected inside me (as an ego). 

    I have noticed how my problems are reflected outside in others as well. 

    I have noticed how the world cannot exist without my conscious existence alongside it. This one is especially radical and eerie. 


    There are other aspects of this mirroring of ego self and others, and this mirroring becomes a fusion of ego and others in the unified form of The Self, or Atman. 

    For some weird reason, "I" am playing an eerie play with myself, disguised as billion forms. All connected. All mirrored in some sort of vibrational resonance. 

    I am not conscious right now of being the others. No.

    But I am conscious right now of how much they represent what I have inside me. The violence, the fear, the insecurities, the desires... I can see how they mirror my egoic condition. 

    I can see how being disturbed by their own hatred and fear is REALLY JUST being disturbed by myself. 


    It's that creepy. Still, I'm not soberly conscious of oneness right now. 

    Just a simple inquiry :)

    Be at ease with yourself, love yourself.

    I need to love myself. Deeper. 

  7. 9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    See, ego is simply that which resists Universal flow. The sun is never confused about which way it's going or what is right or wrong. It just follows God's flow. Without ego you become like an object of nature.

    Yes, but that resistance is just conceptual, because egoic actions are "God-sent". What I mean is that God decided what the ego should look like and what it wants to do. So, in a sense, God wants the ego to act based on unconscious desires, because that's the only way to get an experience of struggle and progression. 

    I totally agree on the ego resisting God realization (because of the death it implies) but the ego is still 100% God's pure will. 

    That means that the Ego's resistance is just conceptual, because emotions, thoughs and fear are just phenomena happening to God, who is observing them, and at the same time believing that it is a limited human. 

    At least that's how I've felt it myself. 

  8. 13 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    The trick to doing great philosophy is to not read what philosophers wrote ;)

    What? How are you going to develop the existential concepts and frameworks? 

    Let's take for example advaita vedanta's philosophy. It's full of nuanced and metaphysical vocabulary that it's going to boost your contemplation of reality. 

    Maybe you were just joking :ph34r:

  9. Thanks for the replies, to everyone.

    Well, I get what you are saying. The Self is the one who awakens inside the dream, and not the imaginary people (my ego is included of course).

    But what I mean is that an awakened "person" is capable of showing that they are realized. I was just wondering if other people, EVEN THOUGH they are conceptual and not actual, can show this sign of realization once you realize the True Self.

    I guess it's still a game of duality that my mind is playing. Nonetheless, I found it possible.

  10. 8 minutes ago, Mason Riggle said:

    'They' are the mask. If you full drop your mask, there is no them.. it's all you. 

    I get it, I'm not talking about the core Self. I'm talking about the illusion. 

    Does the illusion become self conscious? Do the people show recognition of their true self? 

    You look at the mirror. Then you recognize that you are the person in the mirror. "oh it's me". 

    The image in the mirror should also reflect that recognition. That's what I mean. 

  11. Hey, @Leo Gura,  I was contemplating my perceptions tonight, alone in bed, and noticing how other people in photos are just my own perceptions, not real entities. But still I can't feel other people as me, because of survival agenda I have. I can on psychedelics. 

    But i notice during my contemplations that people in photos are just my perception and not real objects. 

    This is my question:

    Does the game of separateness collapse ON THEIR end too? 

    I mean... You become conscious of being them. And that's ok. 

    At that point do they drop the mask? Do they mirror your understanding? Or do they keep acting unconscious? 

    It makes sense to me that they should drop the mask once you become totally omniscient. Why should they keep the facade up? 

    Sorry for the weird question :ph34r:

  12. 18 hours ago, fopylo said:

    But you kinda contradict yourself because you just said that lower SD stage girls will not be attracted to this. Most girls are not super evolved psychologically. Basically most girls will go away from you while you still attract girls, but less

    If you want tribal or violent/impulsive girls, yes. 

    Generally from stage orange and above girls tend to like personality, humor, authenticity and social freedom. Generally self expression is very attractive to a sufficiently evolved girl :)

  13. 2 minutes ago, Lucas-fgm said:

    Being strong men= being authentic, and stop caring what others think.

    Being strong doesn't mean being a gym rat that never laughs or something.

    And women love high-status guys. Independently of his personality, a big percentage of women will want him.


    You are so clueless, man.

    What you believe you attract :) watch your beliefs as they get mirrored in reality. Attraction is far below Mind in the hyerarchy.

  14. 4 hours ago, StarStruck said:

    It is so hard to understand this perspective. How come they treat nice guys as trash and dick heads as kings?

    With girls treating guys nice I mean answering their text, being polite and having the dignity to say they are not interested. Instead they just ghost you and just leave you out to dry.

    I talked to some female friends about this and they subscribe to what I said. Guys are much nicer towards girls in this regard.

    My theory is this: girls have more power because they chose, and nice guys who don't have power get treated as trash; there is no reason to treat nice guys with respect and dignity.

    This is a massive strawman.

    People in general tend to respond to authenticity, freedom, confidence and good vibes. The last one is not a buzz word, it's a true energetic component. You could have seen millions of girls loving Justin Bieber when he was still girly and soft. Where's the ruthless and brutal masculinity now? Same goes for 60's rock idols and other soft men like Russel Brand.

    Girls in low SD stages, like stage red, are attracted to brute force and domination. 
    More evolved girls tend to gravitate more towards authenticity, freedom, masculine wisdom and self expression.

    Stop caring about masculine power. That's makinh you more weak. 

    Are you a feminine guy? WHO THE FUCK CARES! Embrace it.

    I am a 45% feminine guy, but I have developed confidence and more authenticity and girls have appreciated it. Of course not stage red girls.

    Be unapologetic about being feminine or soft or lighthearted. The less you care about being attractive to them, the more you become attractive.

    Be your own hero.

    Masculine power is liking your own authenticity without caring about others.


    Girls fall in love with lots and lots of gay men.

    Guess why?

    Maybe because they DON'T CARE about being attractive to women? They embrace their femininity and women can fuck off. (not in the red pill meaning xD )

  15. 43 minutes ago, Leo Gura said:

    It's not "a view". It is absolutely the case.

    These are just the natural paradoxes of Infinity.

    Infinity has no end. It can keep exploring itself forever. But also it can be conscious of itself as Infinity. And also it can be totally unconscious of itself.

    The mindfuck of Infinity is that it is both infinite and finite! True Infinity cannot exclude the finite. Therefore it is a self-negating entity that transcends human logic.

    Again, the problem here is that your mind is trying to pin Infinity down to some one explicit thing, which is impossible since Infinity is truly infinite. If you could define Infinity, it would not be infinite. But also, you CAN define it too. Since if you couldn't define Infinity that would also make it finite.

    Yes, God is that which always has more of itself to discover, since God is so endless it cannot know itself. But also God perfectly is itself ;)

    Knowledge is a dualistic notion. God's being is prior to knowing. It's more true than knowing anything could ever be. God isn't just something you know, God is what you ARE!

    Is it just my own self deception, or is God in search of understanding itself?

    When I have breakthrough trips I tend to feel like the Absolute/Me is just eternally looking for a deeper understanding of itself. Like it needs duality to study itself, cause in oneness it can't do it. 
    Duality seems to act like a mirror. It can make you look into yourself like you are a different object. Also reality tends to mirror itself a lot, like stated in LOA teachings. Thus to me it seems like God is just using duality as a mirror to inquire its own mysterious existence.

    The biggest question is always: WHY?!? Why am I here and not not-here?
    I might be deluded....

  16. 3 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    Supermind still involves thinking, but of a highly nonlinear, abstract, and trans-rational sort.

    Thinking is not the enemy. Thinking gets supercharged as consciousness rises.

    That sounds amazing. I really want to reach that sooner or later.

    Thought and emotion are extremely powerful and have a huge impact on perception, and also on manifestation of reality (especially beliefs).

    Reaching levels of trans-rational thinking seems to involve huge amounts of creative and understanding power :o

  17. 4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

    That's not what I refer to as supermind. That is more like contemplative/philosophical mind. Contemplation can be very powerful in cutting through the human bullshit and it makes you more alert and aware, like when you are solving a math problem. You have to be clear about it. Or when you are doing self-inquiry work.

    That's all good. Keeping doing that.

    But supermind is beyond that. It is beyond the capacities of the normal sober human mind. Supermind feels like your mind's IQ was upgraded to 1000+, allowing you to think new kinds of thoughts which are simply not possible for a regular human to think. Supermind feels like how a highly advanced alien being would think if he had a brain 10x your size.

    Accessing supermind requires either psychedelics or some altered state of consciousness attained through intense spiritual practice. When you start to be able to think impossible things, that's when you can tell supermind is coming online.

    Very nice. :) Thanks for the explanation, I'm very interested in achieving supermind, especially for metaphysical purposes.

    I guess that the classic meditative techniques (no mind oriented) are not good for that. Should I invest more effort into self inquiry and active contemplation to move towards supermind? I have noticed that the more I contemplate the more I become intelligent about emotions, thoughts, shadows etc. I'm also becoming good at connecting topics and several areas of existence together, like a unified holistic topic. But it's still a human form of intelligence, I recognize. :D

    What sober skills do you recommend to invest into?

  18. I've tried to improve my sober self inquiry thanks to this video:

    @Leo Gura you mentioned two dimensions of waking up, one towards no-mind, another towards god-mind.

    The God Mind route passes through the Super Mind, some sort of active and awakening mind, which is not egoic in nature.




    Since I generally have problems having insights with the no mind route, and even in psychedelic trips I tend to use an active mind to gain knowledge and oneness, I've started to train for several weeks on this active mind route.


    I've discovered that I can intentionally focus my mind only on debunking self deceptions, beliefs, ego structures, thoughts, emotions etc. It works like some sort of metaphysical voice which is very intelligent and sharp and notices all the mental dynamics of my identity. I'm also quite good and sharp in shadow work thanks to this feature I'm training.

    I've discovered through sober self inquiry, during a walk in the park alone, that this sort of metaphysically-oriented mind is very powerful and puts me in a state of PRESENCE and stillness, while at the SAME TIME the mind is very active and in debunk mode.

    What do I mean with debunk mode? Here are some examples:

    "There is no home left behind. You have no perceptions of home, there is no home right now. You are imagining it."

    "There is no time. Time is a concept you are using to lead a practical life. There is no trace of time in this present experience."

    "You call yourself Billiesimon, but that's just a name you gave yourself."

    Monkey mind: "No, my parents gave it to me"

    Super mind: "No, YOU are calling yourself Billiesimon RIGHT NOW, can you see it? You are remembering. Remembering means that you are observing a thought. That thought is not real. You decided to call "memory" a thing which is just a random thought. YOu have no actual memories."

    Monkey mind: "Stop doing this. I have a life. This world right here is happening and it has objetcts and it changes."

    Super mind: "No, you are just observing forms. The voice that is talking to me is also the voice which is creating meaning and direction and timelines. That voice is responsible for the meaning you find in life, and for the time progression too."



    And all these sort of things..... It's basically a form of Inquiring Mind that I have developed over two years of spiritual work and hardcore study of metaphysics and shadow work. 

    This voice is very sharp and neutral, and after some time that it shows me the mental dynamics it starts to CREEP ME OUT, and I tend to leave it alone after a while. 
    Because I have a life plan and projects.

    Right now, while writing this, the "super mind" is making me aware that my life projects and my interests are keeping me ASLEEP. I am aware of this. It's really creepy. Because I don't want to awake completely right now. I genuinely feel the desire to remain just 5-10% awake (or whatever it is).  

    I feel like I am awake yet I am too afraid to be awake. I can't explain it, Leo. I don't want to sound arrongant. It's just that I feel at a deep stomach level that this life is going on just because I cling onto desires and projects. I can feel that. It's creepy and eerie. That's why I feel that I'm both awake and asleep. I'm not enlightened at all, just to be clear. It's a weird feeling. 

    The feeling of knowing that I can dismantle it all with this super mind and lose all sense of reality. But I don't want to. I will do it in the future, after realizing my projects and interests. I'm too young to see life as mere perceptions floating in the void. Even though I've already seen it.


    Sorry for the long post. Of course I've also been told and demonstrated by the Super MInd that there are no others, because the ego mind is imagining others. Of course god is imagining others, but the direct responsible for others is the Ego Mind. Because Ego Mind keeps on telling stories and beliefs and feeling emotions related to "others". 

    Yeah, I know I shouldn't be asking anybody, Leo :( But it's really scary. Especially because it's sober. Psychedelics are an excuse, just a plot tool, for the movie.

    I haven't taken psychs for at least 7 months, and yet I'm becoming slowly and slowly more aware.....

    Yeah. Psychs are just part of the plot.


    Give me your opinion, Leo. Also the other members :) Thanks a lot.

  19. 2 hours ago, The0Self said:

    xD For real! Your trip report is almost verbatim what happens to me on dissociatives, lol. And that didn't always happen! I used to be able to take close to 100mg ketamine and basically just have a fun lucid dream with ego dissolution... Now with probably 50mg it's pretty much literally the end of the universe! xD Just the infinite matrix of perceptions just fluctuating in absolutely nothing, with no life in it at all, basically exactly like you described. Completely shocking. Disconcerting, even! The "cause" of it seems to be somewhat related to a suppression of memory -- when there's no context, no further context can arise.

    Totally related to the memory suppression. 

    Ego is all based on mental talk and beliefs, memories etc... In this sense dissos are better than psychs, which are amazing in feeling the true Self instead; the consciousness behind reality. 

    Generally with disso I feel no-self, and with psychs I feel oneness and every perception tends to be ME. :o

  20. 2 minutes ago, The0Self said:

    Ah. Well don't fix what ain't broken!

    I know what you mean about "close to eternal dissolution." I honestly feel like if I were to dose just a bit too high these days -- especially ingesting a dissociative while peaking on a 5ht2a psychedelic -- I would not be coming back.

    That's exactly the feeling I mean xD
    I can guarantee you that when the ego started to come back, I was feeling like I would be stuck in formlessness FOREVER.

    I know that on a material level the substance should subside and let you come down after some time.... but I'm pretty sure that you can disappear once your sense of oneness is too powerful. The material level is just a byproduct of ego-mind/low cosciousness.

    I clearly felt that there was no material level at all..... I have NOWHERE to return, no form to return to....

    It's that shocking :o I'm seriously happy that I came back.

  21. 2 minutes ago, The0Self said:

    Supposedly it's more effective about 1.5 inches in, with a total of about 1 ml liquid, so that the anal columns can be soaked -- the place with the highest and fastest absorption rate. But dissociatives are more effectively insufflated, ime. I usually plug psychedelics, even LSD -- not all tryptamines though as they don't seem to be as water soluble as lysergamides and phenethylamines.

    Mh... I can attest that in my case dissos are very very powerful with plugging. I don't need high doses to hit strong experiences.