What's an incel mindset?

[Consept]

The incel mindset is a victim narrative and ideology that is used to absolve responsibility from the person for their inability to attract a female. 

Meaning they blame society and women specifically rather than looking at what they can do and the reason why someone might not be attracted to them. 

Where I might sympathise with them, is society does give you the message that sex and relationships are so easy to attain and so rewarding. The general message is that if you don't get a date, you're a loser or if you're not married with kids you're a loser, which can easily make you feel depressed if you don't get these things. Also, unless you have a healthy masculine role model who can teach you positive mindsets and practical ways to talk to women, you will be lost in how to actually improve.

So much so it may seem impossible and when an ideology comes along that explains to you none of this is your fault and it's all because the distance between your eyes is too much or too little, you can see how attractive that might be. Essentially they feel hopeless and the ideology gives the message to embrace the hopelessness, further cementing it through different ideas about female nature etc, even if they don't have direct experience of challenging these ideas, they will still take them on. For example they will convince themselves that they're ugly even if objectively they're not, which for most of them is true. They'll also call any attempt to improve a cope. 

It's like having an ideology that there's nothing you can do about being fat, it might be true for some of them but the vast majority would be able to change it. 

[bebotalk]

there should be mandatory mental health checks in schools. and for all people, not just those with diagnosed conditions. maybe a weekly counselling session,where any and all information can. be collated and expressed in confidence. 

If a young guy wants to rape a woman because she's part of a "class" that is denying him the right/opportunity to date, then it's clearly an unhealthy mind that is making such a thought process.

[Schizophonia]

On 28/02/2024 at 1:30 AM, bebotalk said:

A number of incels have jobs. They don't want friends, they want partners. They often go on the internet because of their problems. Saying they should work and not worry about it is reductive.

You can't not want friends and at the same time want a girlfriend, it's a view of the mind that has no virtual reality.
Possibly you are dystimic or something like that, you don't want to see relationships in general but tell yourself that you would like to have a girlfriend so you can ruminate and enrich your character of "the one who can't have a girlfriend...".

It's still bad, stressful energy that makes you crazy in the long run, but people ruminate anyway because it's worse to having no energy at all. (as in depression).
It's energetic Junk Food, literally lol.

Edited February 29 by Schizophonia

[bebotalk]

13 minutes ago, Schizophonia said:

You can't not want friends and at the same time want a girlfriend, it's a view of the mind that has no virtual reality.
Possibly you are dystimic or something like that, you don't want to see relationships in general but tell yourself that you would like to have a girlfriend so you can ruminate and enrich your character of "the one who can't have a girlfriend...".

It's still bad, stressful energy that makes you crazy in the long run, but people ruminate anyway because it's worse than having no energy at all. (as in depression).
It's energetic Junk Food, literally lol.

There are people who are loners or hermits who want and have relationships. I don't see it as that diametrically opposed, and there is no real connection between the two.

[Israfil]

1 hour ago, Schizophonia said:

It's still bad, stressful energy that makes you crazy in the long run, but people ruminate anyway because it's worse than having no energy at all. (as in depression).

Stress is one of the greatest stimulants that are available to us endogenously. If you're depressed, you might unconsciously seek stress as a way to self-regulate. 

My caffeine abuse in my late teens was exactly this.