My ex girlfriend broke my heart

[Reignforest]

@Princess Arabia There is a lot to unpack here, but we would need to start another topic to get to the bottom of it. Let's just say that I mostly agree with you. But just for clarification I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife for more than superficial things. However I would question her loyalty to me if I wasn't the provider. But we are going off topic. 

 

@evgn This type of loss takes time to absorb. You put her on a pedestal and she directly attacked your ego, self esteem and perceived value. The only way to recover is to rebuild your self esteem.  Which only comes through dedication to something difficult, while simultaneously avoiding recognition.  Because recognition is external validation and cannot build self esteem. You can also undergo thought experiments objectively to see if your valuation of her "specialness" is justified.  For example what if you learned something secret about her sexual history that was unsettling to you? Would this make her less special? What specifically makes her special if not just pure admiration for you? 

[Reignforest]

@Princess Arabia There is a lot to unpack here, but we would need to start another topic to get to the bottom of it. Let's just say that I mostly agree with you. But just for clarification I've been married for 10 years. I love my wife for more than superficial things. However I would question her loyalty to me if I wasn't the provider. But we are going off topic. 

 

@evgn This type of loss takes time to absorb. You put her on a pedestal and she directly attacked your ego, self esteem and perceived value. The only way to recover is to rebuild your self esteem.  Which only comes through dedication to something difficult, while simultaneously avoiding recognition.  Because recognition is external validation and cannot build self esteem. You can also undergo thought experiments objectively to see if your valuation of her "specialness" is justified.  For example what if you learned something secret about her sexual history that was unsettling to you? Would this make her less special? What specifically makes her special if not just pure admiration for you? 

[evgn]

9 hours ago, Reignforest said:

while simultaneously avoiding recognition. 

what do you mean by that?

 

[Reignforest]

@evgn Work hard to accomplish something challenging and dont tell anyone about it. Let the results speak for itself.  If you do something difficult and seek recognition you rob yourself of building self esteem and confidence, because your still seeking external validation. Instead of just telling yourself that you're good enough. No other person can fill that hole. 

[evgn]

53 minutes ago, Reignforest said:

@evgn Work hard to accomplish something challenging and dont tell anyone about it. Let the results speak for itself.  If you do something difficult and seek recognition you rob yourself of building self esteem and confidence, because your still seeking external validation. Instead of just telling yourself that you're good enough. No other person can fill that hole. 

What that thing could be, i barely have power to get out of my bed..

[Reignforest]

@evgn ok then start with that. Muscles start to atrophy in 72 hours without use.

[evgn]

I feel better today.

The problem is that i broke her hearth really bad last year. I dumped her because i thought that i do not love her, yes she is very beautiful and i am aware of that, i just wasnt loving her because i am an avoidant attachment style, once i see somebody so close to me i pull off. She loved me with her whole hearth and, nobody have ever loved me like that. 

I think that i really love her right now and she is very speacial but i dont know if am deluding myself.

[Leo Gura]

On 10/15/2023 at 6:59 PM, evgn said:

She was lying and giving me false hope

Sounds like you are projecting a lot of stuff on her. Which is distorting your view of what her real motivations are with you.

You should talk to her and find out what her intentions and motivations are in contacting you. So you two are clear.

Edited October 17, 2023 by Leo Gura

[evgn]

This is a topic for a different subject, but why i am developing so strong oneitis for everybody that shows some interest in me and then reject me. That had happend in the past and it is really difficult for me to let the girl go..

Leo will awakening help me let her go 

Edited October 17, 2023 by evgn

[Felliks]

Yo bro she was a good one, cherish it.

If I were you I'd cry. If that wouldn't go far I'd get a sense of rebellion fashion and go talk shit with some dumb chicks (dumb chicks I said it.)

Get some validation going. Get a group of friends ( they are a lifesaver )

Then hit the gym.

Avoid movies for fuck's sake.
 

Edited October 18, 2023 by Felliks

[Merkabah Star]

Get a dog and move on.

stop feeling sorry for yourself. 

im happily single. It’s way better than in long term relationships. 

love yourself. No one will love you like you.