What is a 'party' in today's world?

[PurpleTree]

it‘s the same everywhere, not just at parties

the issue (or not) is not the party but the validation seeking, never having enough, comparing itself to others, trying to appear a certain way „ego“

 

[universe]

Take responsibility.

If you want to connect and meet with other people it is your job alone to get that stuff going for you.

It's not humanities fault for having shitty rituals and society with their bad habits, don't make it so easy (in the long run very hard) for you.

If one person on this planet made connections at a party then it should be possible for you, too.

Resourceful, abundant thinking vs. fearful and lacking.

[mr_engineer]

2 hours ago, universe said:

Take responsibility.

If you want to connect and meet with other people it is your job alone to get that stuff going for you.

It's not humanities fault for having shitty rituals and society with their bad habits, don't make it so easy (in the long run very hard) for you.

This thread is not about me or my 'issues with connecting with and meeting people'. I have other ways of doing that. 

2 hours ago, universe said:

If one person on this planet made connections at a party then it should be possible for you, too.

My point is that partying is by far the worst way to meet and connect with people. Fine, 'if one person on the planet made connections at a party, it should be possible for anyone'. But, it's one thing for it to be possible, and it's another thing for it to be probable. The probability is very low, because of the factors I listed in the OP. And, if that's the most popular type of social environment in upscale areas of the world. we're in trouble. Looking at this trend on a macro-level should scare you. 

2 hours ago, universe said:

Resourceful, abundant thinking vs. fearful and lacking.

If you're defending parties as a way to meet people, that comes across as 'fearful and lacking' to me, actually. There are much better ways, like going to art-classes, going to dance-classes, going to music-classes. People aren't numbing themselves with substances and they're exploring their creativity in these environments. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Loving Radiance]

@mr_engineer Would you trust a sample size of 1x SD Orange party to be a good epistemic foundation?

Edited September 1, 2023 by Loving Radiance

[mr_engineer]

8 minutes ago, Loving Radiance said:

@mr_engineer Would you trust a sample size of 1x SD Orange party to be a good epistemic foundation?

Before then, I'd been to bars and clubs, just because it was the most popular social environment. I didn't know what to do there, I felt lonely there, so I came back. 

Then, when I went with friends, I saw what they do and I was like 'screw this, it's not worth it'. 

And besides this, I never really understood the fundamental principle behind partying as a way to connect with people. Until, I heard someone say 'the people you meet in parties are not your friends, you just go there to gain popularity, offline and online (Insta-stories and shit)'. Then, it made sense why people do it and what the cultural blindspot is! 

There are a lot of healthier ways of meeting people, like going to the gym, art-classes, sports-clubs. In fact, there are dedicated SD Green environments in which they do spiritual rituals and stuff and you can connect much better with people there. 

Edited September 1, 2023 by mr_engineer

[Loving Radiance]

@mr_engineer If you want to see what parties can be like, check out parties at Green communities and tribal/cocreative gatherings. They are about joy, celebration, ceremony and of course also fun. For me there has never been one where alcohol or other mind-altering substances were allowed (at Green festivals it's something else though).

Edited September 1, 2023 by Loving Radiance

[universe]

4 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

This thread is not about me

It is, everything is about you.

It shows the way you perceive reality.

Imagine someone explaining: What's the point of engineering, we build a bridge but it collapsed immediately. What is engineering today? While building the bridge we spend so much fuel and energy. Fuel we could have used on the boats! Finally, there was so much corruption going on and some people were really grumpy while on construction. And that is what our society has come to? I see people engineering all around the world, it's sad. 

I think Leo is correct here (16:50)

 

Still, I can enjoy a party. And I understand why people do it. It's fun to celebrate. Do it however you like.

[mr_engineer]

@universe The serious point that I'm making is that we need to stop pussy-footing around this collective issue of loneliness and we need to become more sophisticated in our understanding of it and what the real solutions are, what doesn't work vs what actually works. 

It becomes particularly hopeless for successful people who believe that 'partying is the height of life'. When they become disillusioned with it, they kill themselves. Because what they experience is loneliness in a room full of people 'having fun' with them. This is not an accident. This is not a bug of the party-environment, it's a feature. This is literally what the people there are coping with. 

I believe that we must question this notion that 'partying is the height of life'. Because if we find alternative ways to connect with people, a lot of money that goes into the extravagance of partying will get saved. And, life in the West will become a lot less competitive. Honestly, the West has been rich enough for around 20-30 years for the rat-race to just stop. People are still running, though, because they believe this lie. Entire economic reforms are on hold because of this lie. Most of Wall-street believes this lie, most of the shit they do is for this reason. Most corrupt CEOs and presidents believe this lie. Inflation in the West will greatly reduce if not completely stop if people stop believing this lie. Entire economies can get saved if people stop believing this lie. 

A lot of people's status-obsession stems from here. Whether they're rich, poor or middle-class. But, if they see through this, they will stop caring about status and they will just follow their passion and find their Life-Purpose. The entire world will see a new level of evolution. 

[soos_mite_ah]

Gonna be honest, I didn't read the whole post but I did read the OP. 

I get what you mean but I think that your definition of a party is too specific. A party in my eyes is any organized social gathering with multiple people (think 4+). You can have parties celebrating a certain thing (graduation party, birthdays, weddings, Christmas etc.), dinner parties / get togethers, parties around a certain activity (like a pizza making party). And these are great opportunities to meet new people (i.e. friends of friends, acquaintences) and/or strengthen the bonds you already have. And I wouldn't put relationship building and creating as an instant gratification/ low conscious activity. 

Parties don't have to be around alcohol, other drugs, and sex. And sure there are people who go out to clubs and bars as their main form of socializing, but I don't think that's most people. At least that's definitly not my social circle. If alcohol and casual sex isn't you're thing, that's perfectly fine. No need to force yourself to do that. I can see how there are aspects of the life style that isn't healthy but there are pleanty of people who go out to bars and club and do things in moderation and responsibly. It isn't always this kind of debauchery if you're being responsible and if you're around quality people who you have things in common with such as similar interests, hobbies and values. Sometimes you want a fun little drink and to dance with your friends as a way to spend time with them. You don't have to get wasted. And that's fine. Having other things in common and having a good foundation for your friendshipss is important because if you only have friends where the main thing you have in common is getting drunk with each other, that usually not a good sign.

And honestly, I don't know many people who say that getting drunk in a club with the music blasting is the height of life unless they're like younger than 21. I think that when you're young and you didn't experience this or there are something you haven't gotten out of your system that you're most likely to over hype going to bars and clubs. I feel like when you get older, you can still go to these things and enjoy yourself but by no means do you base your social circle / self esteem/ relationships on this and make this bigger than it really is or think it's the "height of life." I don't know many people beyond college age who see clubbing and bar hopping as "the height of life" or their main form of socializing. If I encounter these kinds of people, I'd probably think that they are either working through something, the rest of their life sucks, or that they are emotionally stunted.