Cheating, what your moral about it?

[Ulax]

Generally, very selfish

[integral]

6 hours ago, universe said:

So if you think the relationship isn't good anymore just end it before you cheat.

People dont end it before they cheat because other areas of the relationship are great like the husbands financial commitments. If a woman is not feeling loved she will cheat but shame her self because "he does so much for me and cares".

If one person in the relationship grows up and the other doesn't they will drift apart and cheating can happen because one party is feeling stuck financially and not satisfied. So they are in a way forced to cheat and find another partner first then break up to secure financial safety. 

Edited January 11, 2023 by integral

[universe]

54 minutes ago, integral said:

People dont end it before they cheap because other areas of the relationship are great like the husbands financial commitments. If a woman is not feeling loved she will cheat but shame her self because "he does so much for me and cares".

If one person in the relationship grows up and the other doesn't they will drift apart and cheating can happen because one party is feeling stuck financially and not satisfied. So they are in a way forced to cheat and find another partner first then break up to secure financial safety. 

Yeah it takes courage (same as being truthful). 

In your scenario the partner that grew up could also end the relationship. Why is he still in it, if he is so grown up and doesn't love them anymore?

So this is actually a situation in which a lot of fuck ups happened (both not facing the fact that the relationship has effectively ended a long time ago) before someone decides to cheat.

[Loba]

Cheating is bad karma, getting with taken people is bad karma.  You reap what you sew on all accounts.

Instances where I was in the middle of a cheating unaware or misguided - it all fell on me... even when it was the guy who lied/manipulated.
Instances where truth is there, I just don't even bother with it.  My best friend would tell me how she was surprised I never went after her boyfriends.  Didn't cross my mind.  If a female friend wasn't comfortable with me talking to her guy, I can pick up on that - I just retract my focus and keep it on her or peace out.  I don't like dealing with that.  Messy.

All my relationships/budding relationships/connections with guys have ended in cheating/using me as an in-between.  Honestly, I think it's more of a guy thing to have loose morals about that subject.  As a woman, if you get caught in the middle, it will all fall on you, so we are more careful about that in general.

As I grow, I personally see less value in human connection, and find it to be a distraction from finding myself and being myself.  But to each his or her own.  If I were to get into a relationship, which won't happen in this lifetime due to pervasive health issues/not wanting to focus on connections spun from human flesh - it would have to be one where I could grow within it.  Like, little to no judgement/putting me in a box/expecting me to focus all my time on them - it would have to arise organically without the domino chain of negative causality, because once that's in the recipe, you can't change it.  You need to scrap it and bake something new.  And that's like cheating.  Once you get into it in such a way with people, where you damage another person's life for your petty little wants and needs, it comes back on you. 

There's a hierarchy of doing these things.  Find yourself first.  Then see if it fits with another's vision and yours.