Who is Family? How do you choose?

[John Paul]

My life’s purpose is to serve and love my family… but who’s my family? Part of me feels like it’s obvious… but then I think: who is my family? Not every blood relative of mine is my family. My family is simply who I choose to be loyal to and serve via the five love languages.
 

“John Paul” is obviously family… that’s a given (or is it?). But who else? My mom? My dad? My children? My friend from work? My friend from childhood? My friendly neighbor? My siblings? Everyone? My political group? My gym friends? My art friends? My girlfriend?

Or is there some sort of criteria that determines who’s family? Some sort of set of boundaries? E.g. Family is those who are clean and sober who I’ve known for 4 years who aren’t in any cults etc. But people change and nobody is perfect- what kind of exceptions to these boundaries would have to exist for my loved ones? What about my children?-They’re sure to get addicted to sugar, join a cult at some point in time, steal at one point in time, take on close minded-ideologies at some time… who gets an exception and who doesn’t? 
 

Or maybe my boundaries and exceptions are the same for everybody and Family is who chooses to be with me? This makes sense but what if a lot of people love me? There’s only so much time in the day. Who gets prioritized first and who gets prioritized last? The last tier would be people who can’t respect my boundaries and are strangers and the first tier would be Family… but my children are sure to push if not violate my verbally stated boundaries chronically…

Family is who I choose. Family is who I choose to love. Should I choose on the basis of my emotional guidance system? My emotional guidance system would have me serving more than one women, many of which would be taking advantage of me. That means the emotional guidance system alone can’t be trusted unless it’s seriously attuned and disciplined to certain principles. But my only principle is to serve and love my family… I know this is the highest. Which brings me back again- who is family? (Who do I serve?)

Should I serve whoever it serves me to serve? This is just another way of saying should I just serve myself, I suppose. No… I must be loyal to people beyond myself… right? 
 

This subject is proving to be the most difficult thing for me in this time. Any help with this contemplation is appreciated. Thank you.

[mmKay]

The anwser depends on your level of development.

Human beings construct their notions of Family by emotional attachment over time and similarity of genetics.

All of these can be considered family :

Your parents, siblings, children . . . Entire family tree.

Your entire town, city even country.

Your species, black , white, indian and everything in between.

The entirety of human kind. We all share common ancestors and same genetics if you look far back enough.

The entirety of life : we share common ancestors and genetics even between species if you look far back enough, plants, mushrooms, lizzards, fish...

The entire planet : It is an infinitely interconnected system of resources, life , energy ,etc.

The entire solar system ... and beyond.

The next step requieres awakening experiences into No-Self , Oneness, God and the nature of Consciousness. You are Consciousness, everything is Consciousness  and therefore you are ONE.

PD : There is much more detail that can be given. This is just a broad overview.

Edited December 21, 2022 by mmKay

[How to be wise]

22 hours ago, John Paul said:

My life’s purpose is to serve and love my family…

That’s pretty low consciousness in my humble opinion. There is no family. It is just a mental construction. Your life purpose should be more about what you’re doing, and less about who exactly you’re helping. 

[John Paul]

@How to be wise why is that? Shouldn’t what you’re doing serve someone? And on that note who should you serve? @mmKay

[Danioover9000]

@John Paul

On 2022-12-20 at 6:11 PM, John Paul said:

My life’s purpose is to serve and love my family… but who’s my family? Part of me feels like it’s obvious… but then I think: who is my family? Not every blood relative of mine is my family. My family is simply who I choose to be loyal to and serve via the five love languages.
 

“John Paul” is obviously family… that’s a given (or is it?). But who else? My mom? My dad? My children? My friend from work? My friend from childhood? My friendly neighbor? My siblings? Everyone? My political group? My gym friends? My art friends? My girlfriend?

Or is there some sort of criteria that determines who’s family? Some sort of set of boundaries? E.g. Family is those who are clean and sober who I’ve known for 4 years who aren’t in any cults etc. But people change and nobody is perfect- what kind of exceptions to these boundaries would have to exist for my loved ones? What about my children?-They’re sure to get addicted to sugar, join a cult at some point in time, steal at one point in time, take on close minded-ideologies at some time… who gets an exception and who doesn’t? 
 

Or maybe my boundaries and exceptions are the same for everybody and Family is who chooses to be with me? This makes sense but what if a lot of people love me? There’s only so much time in the day. Who gets prioritized first and who gets prioritized last? The last tier would be people who can’t respect my boundaries and are strangers and the first tier would be Family… but my children are sure to push if not violate my verbally stated boundaries chronically…

Family is who I choose. Family is who I choose to love. Should I choose on the basis of my emotional guidance system? My emotional guidance system would have me serving more than one women, many of which would be taking advantage of me. That means the emotional guidance system alone can’t be trusted unless it’s seriously attuned and disciplined to certain principles. But my only principle is to serve and love my family… I know this is the highest. Which brings me back again- who is family? (Who do I serve?)

Should I serve whoever it serves me to serve? This is just another way of saying should I just serve myself, I suppose. No… I must be loyal to people beyond myself… right? 
 

This subject is proving to be the most difficult thing for me in this time. Any help with this contemplation is appreciated. Thank you.

   You don't choose, it's mostly determined for you earlier in your life.

[Arthogaan]

Contemplate and choose the definition of family that inspires you the most.

Maybe you should built a Family out of your best friends and create the best community out there.
Maybe your purpose is to have 50 stray cats, and call them your family.

It is for you to define it. Have fun.