Wilm

Stuck In Life Purpose Course, Again

33 posts in this topic

@Wilm and when you get some answers, please, be so kind and share them here, as I believe, there are more people in similar situation to yours. Even if it takes you some time. For example, I thought I figured out my LP. And then started having doubts about it, cos whatever I visualized and dreamed in connection to realizing the purpose in the future, it did not really spark that much passion/emotion. So now I've been procrastinating on the part "How to make it real" of the course, cos I'm not sure if the purpose I came up with is the one I should focus on anymore, whether it's something I really want to make real. Similar to you, my life is pretty much comfortable and smooth now. That's why I thought getting out of the comfort zone and seeking new activities/opportunities related to the values and strengths might be a good option. 

By the way, what are your signature strengths and top 3 values? For example, I guess that 50% of my life purpose ingredients is in my top strength/skill. The latter 50% is more related to the ways of realizing this skill, bringing it to life, searching for the right field, which can be discovered in the part you most struggle with. And the one I still have doubts about. 

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@Alicja_ I'll keep you updated in this thread when I find new insights!

That comfortable life is holding us down... For example, when you want to start a business and your "life" is on the line, nothing to fall back on, you'll be much more inclined to making a success of it, than when you're starting something as a side project. The need to find and do something with a LP is not there.

Can you share something of your LP?

My top values are:

Personal growth, health and energy, love of learning, family, consciousness

Strengths:

Curiosity and interest in the world, humor and playfulness, love of learning, judgment/critical thinking and open-mindedness, hope/optimism/future-mindedness, zest/enthusiasm and energy.

I'm OK with my strengths and values, but I'm not 100% sure about them. I've done these exercises a couple times, in different periods, the results came out pretty similar. But, not 100% sure. For example, in daily life I'm quite optimistic and hopeful for the future, I don't worry a lot, pretty happy :) But when it comes down to my LP, I seem to loose all hope and enthusiasm for it after another exercise when I draw a complete blank :(

 

 

 

 

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@Wilm I believe that you are already to much extent synchronised with your top values. Just wondering, if curiosity and interest in the world is your top strength, then what it is exactly, or more or less, that really sparks your interest/curiosity? Did you discover it in depth?  Have you ever tried coming back with memories to your childhood? Reminiscing on the wonderful times you had? What sparked your curiosity/excitement most? Would there be any theme which could give you even a silly hint? For example, I have one hint about myself, may sound ridiculous. I remember, when I was a kid, the most exciting thing for me was  to induce lucid dreams a lot. In these dreams I fighted bad guys and rescued good guys. Actually, in turns, I was a witch or a ninja with psychic powers. I loved the idea of helping people out in distress, though, only in my dreams. I was a withdrawn, anxious and highly imaginative kid, so experiencing being a ninja was also somehow an exhilarating experience. 

Throughout the course, the main themes I've discovered about myself were oriented toward growth, personal development and wisdom-seeking. My life purpose was about using my top strengths which are critical thinking and open-mindedness to help people understand and overcome whatever mental blockages hinder their growth. Do the right thing to help people out. Combining, perhaps, elements of psychological therapy, coaching, hypnosis, meditation/awareness tools. I really felt like this is the right area to research, to study, to work on. And then, when I tried to imagine the future, implementing these things, the enthusiasm faded away somehow.  That's why I'm not sure if I came up with the "correct" "life purpose" or whether I am influenced by something superficial. Or perhaps I should explore this more thoroughly and jump out of comfort zone.

 

Edited by Alicja_

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In my 76 years I've had a life purpose or two but never could figure out how to make them work.  While always 'being responsible' and 'doing the right thing' I have had jobs (about 30 of them) where I thought I was 'doing good for humanity' or doing something interesting - yet was miserable so changed jobs yet again.  I feel like I have always missed the bus and have gotten on wrong buses or have just walked when I could have ridden.

Would Leo's course be of any use to me?

Thanks for reading this.  George   on Facebook   /jorjonzn

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@gj28210 Hey. ^_^ Leo's course has helped a lot of people get in touch with their values, strengths and purpose, so I guess you could give it a try. Especially now, since you have so much life experience, wisdom and knowledge about yourself and life in general,  it might be easier to uncover your hidden treasure. I think the course has potential to facilitate the process and save you some time. Give it a try and see for yourself. 

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@Wilm i have found that my definite purpose in life is to develop my self and live to my fullest potential, however I have not finished the whole course yet I feel to Ace this course it will take many years. 

According to the insight that I got we have to go over and over again to the core concepts. 

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@Wilm

Hey man,

I read your post and what came up to my mind was that you maybe could ask yourself:

With regard to running, in what way could you have a positive impact on society?

Maybe you think that biggest problem in society is that there are too many fat people. Then you could start thinking about how you could help as many people in the world as possible starting a running habit or sth. along those lines.

Or maybe you think that most people don't really know how to boost their performance in running and you want to help them in that way.

Or maybe you think the world lacks great running tracks and you create different tracks online.

What I am trying to say is that your desire to impact people in a positive way could help you identify your Life Purpose.

Good luck!

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Try this affirmation, I think it helped me / is still helping me (I'm still using it):

Every day, I am discovering myself & Life Purpose on deeper & deeper levels.

While doing this for 5 min a day, I imagine how I'm getting closer and closer to my true authentic self and most cherished passions; how I'm doing the exercises better and better, and as a result I'm discovering new insights of what lights me up, what I'm good at, and so on. This helped me to get through the internal obstacles (fears, resistance, excuses, self-manipulation, etc.).

Every human being on Earth is bound to have a Life Purpose (or maybe even several). Our minds are so complicated and rich with thoughts and emotions that it's practically impossible not to have something worth bleeding and crying for. You might have not yet discovered it yet, or you might have suppressed it (because of fears and similar), or you might have not yet connected all of the dots of who you really are (not in the spiritual sense though). Keep looking for a way!

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If there is anything from the course: Im sorry. I havnt bought the course yet. So.... Sorry Leo. Feel Free to delete it xD.

well I have read throw most of the posts and I have a few suggestions:

I think you are missing one or more of the points I will describe now

You are a person that likes to talk about different topics. When you are around in a group you love to discuss thinks, bring up new topics or maybe give your friends other perspectives on life ( or you were but  stopped it because nobody cared). or are you a person that doesnt gives a shit about the people near to you like family and friends to share your insights to maybe help them improve there lifes.

If you are, I would suggest to not try to motivate those who dont care but to start sharing your experiences online. 

this can take many forms
 

Ýou can talk about how you keep yourself healthy, about your sportactivities, why you do them and how. If you talk about that topic most of the time.

If you love movies you can start talking about them, what are your favourite ones, make ranking lists of different topics etc.

Or are you the typical guy that loves to talk about cars? Why not start talking about them on Youtube?

Love sports? ever thought about starting as selfmade commentator ?

All these ideas have the same underlying goal: giving value to the world/having an impact in this world/helping other people.These examples where the hardcore ones.

If you love tennis or football or basketball. Ever had the idea to be a coach for children or something like that? if you love sports for e.g.

I dont know what your interests are in life and how much impact you want to have. Some people are fullfilled if they helped out some homeless people with something to eat every day. Others want to have a bigger impact and save the rainforest for example and do that in different ways: some people demonstrate, some people talk about it alot to change people minds. Some people share there concerns online to impact hundreds/thousands/millions.

You decide which area you care about the most and how big you want to go to be fullfilled,

But I think in general that you have everything you want and the next thing you are missing is to share/help/contribute to this world and to humanity in some kind of way. (some people are fullfilled if they see that there children grow up as good people as to have an impact on the world)

Doesnt matter what it is: You have to know what makes you happy in life and gives you a feeling of fullfillment. 

As the last example:

Some people get a feeling of fullfillment by sharing what they are passionate about like running?Snowboard?Cocking?Politics?Children?Parenting?Cars? just by doing it and showing how much fun they have doing it to motivate other people to maybe try the same.

The Question is: What do you care about? (The Future of your children/Sports/Cars/Music/CrazyExperiences like bungee jumping/the enviroment/your family/the weather/technology/science/the future/theories/dancing/singing/instruments/Sex/Woman/Porn/Comedy/Special Effects/Programming/Writing/Talking/War/Geopolitics/Search for the truth etc.)

Doesnt matter what it is: noone judges you for what makes you really happy and where you want to contribute/share/impact and how much. Just watch out what it is and do it. And stop thinking about it. Just live your life and in the moment of most enjoyment you will know (thats what I wanna do and share/talk/have ao impact on in some kind of way)

Try that from the book: letting go - The pathway of surrender: let go of the need to know what your LP is and the purpose will come to you ^^

Just watch out what you enjoy the most and where you are able to give incredible amounts of energy without effort. And then use the energy resourcefull to increase the impact in that area. If you like to ^^. Maybe that amount of energy you are investing in this area is fullfilling enough. 

But maybe you are scared about, not having that much of an impact and thats why you cant be happy with what you got:

then try to let go of needing to have an impact. xD.

In the end I can theories here until I die. I dont know you that much to really help. Im just realizing :D.

Just watch out and enjoy life. Good Luck !

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@Wilm I like you. Can I make an observation? Are you a bit of a closet perfectionist? I'm noticing that you tend to use sweeping language on yourself. For Examples:

"I'm totally not creative." "I'm 35 and not that gifted, so a professional career is out of the picture." "I'm not good at working with people, so no option."

You're being a  too hard on yourself. Might I suggest you become more aware of how you evaluate yourself? A little kindness goes a long way.

Another reason to be softer on yourself is because these evaluations are the very self-imposing limitations that are preventing you from seeing the full you. For example, if you don't see yourself as creative, you'll likely not create, potentially missing out on an LP. If you don't see yourself as a people person, you are likely not try to work with people. Not that you won't ever attempt, but that setbacks can kick you out quicker than it would someone else who is perhaps less gifted than you. This is the trickery of self-limitations. 

These lines jump out at me because I suffer from it too. It started out as a coping mechanism as a kid who felt very put upon. And in turn, I am also familiar with that feeling that something is "missing" in me. Over the years, at least cognitively, I've come to accept that this is not the case.  Still working on the emotional part. 

So onto solutions. What I've found works better for me is to not look for a singular answer -- perfectionism gets in the way here. Instead, try to view things in terms of trade-offs. So rather than looking for one absolute passion, I accept that passions are developed more often than love at first sight. In the beginning stages, all you've got is an "interest." You might be looking for it in a silver bullet sort of way. The reality is more often: you like something, you investigate it, you really get into it, and you become fully immersed in it, and eventually it becomes your life's work. But in the beginning, it doesn't look like that often. For a few lucky ones, it could. But those people have other challenges, so don't worry about it. Just focus on what interests you. 

The last thing I want to say is regarding releasing these self-limiting beliefs. I am pretty interested in investigating the Sedona Method. I'll let you know if I find it helpful. 

Edited by greenleafx

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@Alicja_ @Henrik_Sahlen @PetarKa @Gojus @greenleafx Thanks a lot guys for your comments, really appreciated!

I've been pretty busy the last week and will be next week (snowboarding in the French Alps for a whoooooole week :) ). Therefore I'm not able to focus on LP for a while. I'll come back to this topic and I'll comment/answer to your responses. Just wanted to thanks for now!

 

Edited by Wilm
typo

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On 27. 2. 2017 at 8:35 PM, Wilm said:

 Then came the real Life Purpose exercises, where you really gave to come up with answers to questions where your passions lie, what you would do if money is no issue, etc (try not to spoil the content of the ULP here). Leo states that "I don't know" is not an option, keep thinking about it. That kept me stuck at these questions for a very long time, couldn't come up with the answers. ... I've started the ULP again by the end of 2016, this time even more determined to finish the course and find my ULP. But unfortunately, I'm stuck again at the same point. I just can't come up with answers that really resonate with me.

 

I got stuck on the same point, or rather on the very first exercise. Although I did follow the course to the letter up to now, after a few weeks of being stuck I just decided to go on to the next one. The visualisation was a little easier, I didn't quite discover my passion, but at least one thing I am interested in and could easily look into. I intend to go on with the exercises and see which resonate best, hopefully this can get my mind going, and then I can perhaps go back to the very first one or redo the whole section. Also, what I did first, was to rewatch the last video of the intro-section to get myself re-inspired. It makes you get in touch with confidence, I think that is something I needed. 

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@Wilm

You sound perfectly normal to me. 

In fact, you remind me of Marcus Aurelius. He writes about the nobility of living a dispassionate life. A life free from passion.

Bear in mind, he used this word in a specific context. He used it in the same way Buddhists use the word Taṇhā, referring to clinging, craving and aversion. Obviously these are not healthy passions as they are outcome dependent, object oriented and extrinsically motivated.

No, if your life purpose is to include a passion component then it must be passion in the sense of vitality, of feeling vital; alive. Think Passion of the Christ. Or crimes of passion. This passion is about life and death. Not some desire or wish or "that would be nice"; something that if you couldn't do anymore you may as well be dead. 

To me it seems like you are already living the second kind of passionate life, so congratulations for that. And congratulations on avoiding the first kind of passion. Perhaps moving forward you'll find the answers you seek in the second kind of passion. Which might mean instead of asking yourself what thing you'd like your life to be about, ask yourself how you could do more of what you are already doing, that which has been vital for you up to this point?

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