Male-female friendships as a way to burn through pick-up karma in a relationship

[2xj_m]

Recently I had an interesting experiance when It comes to male-female relationships.

I am in a 3-year mostly healthy relationship, from which I was able to do a lot of shadow work, as well as plain improvement such a grooming, etc. It's save to say that I love her and don't want to leave the relationship. 

On the other hand, I am still in my early 20s. Recently, I feel a lot of attraction towards other women, like a lot, a lot. I was doing early stages of pick-up, before I've found my GF and haven't really burned through that Karma in my life. 

However, due to a university major I chose (Psychology, 10% male; 90% female ratio) I interact with a lot of women. A lot of really pretty girls. Simply from interacting with them I have a lot of opportunities to flirt, make them laugh etc. Even though I am in a relationship I still try to improve my pick-up skills by doing that so I don't feel needy in a relationship, becasue of my lack of options with other women. I can see that they are attracted to me. Especially when I talk with them privately. It's a huge Ego-Boost, not gonna lie.

Sometime ago I read David Deida's "The Way of the Superior Man" there he was talking about absorbing the female energy by simply being around women a lot. It seems to be working for me. 

I am also torn when it comes to ethical side of this. I always clearly state to these girls that I have a gf, even though I am escalating with them in non-sexual ways. I don't know whether It is fair when It comes to my girlfriend, but I still think that It's better than cheating or leaving her to pursue sex. 

What do you guys think about this method?

[Majed]

@2xj_m i think you should explain the situation to your girlfriend "that you are young and want to experience more stuff with other women not just her" and give her the option of being in a polygamous relationship with her. if she cares about you, she will understand, if she doesn't want it then leave her. at the end of the day you are still young, you don't want get locked up in a relationship with only one girl for years, remember you are attracted to her because you are attracted to females, not the other way around. do not miss out on the abundance.

Edited October 29, 2022 by Majed

[2xj_m]

28 minutes ago, Majed said:

@2xj_m i think you should explain the situation to your girlfriend "that you are young and want to experience more stuff with other women not just her" and give her the option of being in a polygamous relationship with her. if she cares about you, she will understand, if she doesn't want it then leave her. at the end of the day you are still young, you don't want get locked up in a relationship with only one girl for years, remember you are attracted to her because you are attracted to females, not the other way around. do not miss out on the abundance.

I don't want polygamous relationship in my life. I am way to focused right now on my Life Purpose to complicate my Life in this sort of way. The thing is that the relationship fullfills my sexual, love and belonging needs. I don't want to focus on Pick-Up right now. As a man I can still experiance the Abundance later in life if this relationship doesn't work out. 

This whole situation is more of a by-the-way sort of thing.

[Majed]

@2xj_m alright then you do you

[NoSelfSelf]

@2xj_m why would you ask for advice and already have the answer ?

[Tyler Robinson]

If my guy did this, next day I'm putting the single sign on my status. Enough dealing with cheating but no cheating type of BS. Every guy that cheated always tries to defend with low key behaviors initially. I have composed a silly rap rhyme for it —

Guys be acting sneaky and shit. 

Loyal here, Ain't got no time for it. 

 

Either you have me or you have other girls, can't have it both ways. So choose. 

Edited October 29, 2022 by Tyler Robinson

[NoSelfSelf]

@Tyler Robinson The girls that flirt the most are with boyfriends its interesting...

[2xj_m]

13 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@2xj_m why would you ask for advice and already have the answer ?

To collect some outside perspective and insight, but also to share my method with others, who also might be in a good relationship, but are struggling with the issue of being attracted to other girls.

[2xj_m]

@Tyler Robinson Fair point, what would you do in such situation, where you are with a guy, but still feel attracted to other guys and want to just be around them?

[King Merk]

I don’t see anything wrong with what you’re doing. The biggest thing is communication with your gf.

I’m in a similar multi year relationship with a girl that I love very much. I have no interest in a polygamous relationship but I am very interested in other women sexually.

Whenever I shared that fact with my gf it shook off a lot of the pressure/shame I experience around this innate attraction to other women. Maybe that’s something to consider.

I find it very helpful to be around other women. To absorb that feminine energy and get that novelty I desire while still cherishing the sacred container that is my current relationship.

Any woman who has an issue with you being friends with other women is obviously insecure in the relationship and has trust issues. 

Keep doing you bro. Sounds like you’ve got it figured out pretty nicely for you 

[Tyler Robinson]

@2xj_m I won't flirt with them. If it appears that I'm flirting, I will clearly let my partner know that they don't need to worry about it. But I'll let them know whatever I talk about, there should be full transparency and the I'll make sure my partner knows everything so nothing is hidden from them and they are never disappointed. If my partner tells me to stop talking, instead of accusing them of jealousy, I will respect their desire and stop talking to whoever is making my partner insecure. My partner should be more important in my eyes than the silly people I talk to. So I'll obey my partner's wishes and make them my priority. My partners needs come first. Their happiness is my happiness 

 

[2xj_m]

On 30.10.2022 at 9:02 AM, Tyler Robinson said:

@2xj_m I won't flirt with them. If it appears that I'm flirting, I will clearly let my partner know that they don't need to worry about it. But I'll let them know whatever I talk about, there should be full transparency and the I'll make sure my partner knows everything so nothing is hidden from them and they are never disappointed. If my partner tells me to stop talking, instead of accusing them of jealousy, I will respect their desire and stop talking to whoever is making my partner insecure. My partner should be more important in my eyes than the silly people I talk to. So I'll obey my partner's wishes and make them my priority. My partners needs come first. Their happiness is my happiness 

 

 @Tyler RobinsonI understand the desire to not make your partner insecure. You care for him and wish for his happiness. That is completely normal. 

What is not healthy to me about what you are discribing is that his insecurities will dictate how you behave. With my method I never said that I am hiding something from my GF. There should be full transparency. Better way of solving this is actually having a deep talk with your partner about his insecurities, which come from either his low self-esteem or history of you cheating. 

First definition of flirting that comes up on google is:

- to behave as though sexually attracted to someone, but playfully rather than with serious intentions.

Edited October 31, 2022 by 2xj_m