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SelfHelpGuy

Authenticity

6 posts in this topic

I’m struggling with authenticity.

What if authentically i am grumpy.

but i authentically don’t want to bring the mood down when I’m around people so I try to have a more open and kind expression (when if I was alone I would allow my grumpy expression to remain and maybe make a groan or two)

 

What if I genuinely don’t care what someone is talking about and feel no connection to them, but since it would be mean to express such a thing and likely hurt them, I try to seem interested, I make some sort of conversation. 
 

Which path of authenticity does one take?

On the one hand I want people to feel welcomed in my presence, but on the other I just feel fed up with pretending and wish to let go and have my authentic slightly frustrated expression.
 

I don’t know what to do and I want to cry

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Guilt is probably worse than the perceived pain of hurting someone’s feelings. The world has enough people pleasers, not enough authentic beings. Just my take

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You ask good quetions.

I think that you don't have to be kind and empathetic when you don't feel like it. If you feel like people expect from you positive emotions that you don't feel like you're willing to express, try to communicate what you do really feel, be open about it but without being blunt or disrespectful, or simply if the subject that the other person talks about not intresting for you, say that you prefer to talk about something else or just change the subject. Also notice people's reaction when you express your geniune feelings, some wouldn't feel comfortable to hear that you feel bad (especially if they used to the fact that you're expressing positive emotions only). If people around you are inpatient to your other emotions rather than constant happiness and kindness from you, they are simply not the people for you.

if you care about authenticity and value it, strive to be around people who value it either. Then it won't really be a problem.


Let Love In

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It's coming to you. I suggest you ignore this feedback and wrestle with it on your own

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@Lila9 Thank you Lila.

I like that perspective.

I currently work as a cashier (both for spiritual practice and money)

So I’m encountering 100s of people a week and when I’m grumpy I find this hard to reveal to others.

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