Sources For Self-discovery?

[Durka_Durka]

I know that Leo has videos about not giving in to others to express yourself and what the authentic self is. But what I really am looking for is knowledge about my values and strengths, like exactly who I am as a human being. 

I understand that there is the whole concept of no self. But at this point in my journey it will be much healthier for me to have a strong understanding of the intricacies of myself.

So does anyone have any good sources for self-discovery? They would be greatly appreciated  

[Zane]

Honestly, i've used creative outlets like creative writing for self-discovery! I recommend putting yourself in an environment that fully releases your authentic self. My environments are my own private room where i can create to myself and dance like nobody's watching, the theater, and a bookstore or nature. 

[Durka_Durka]

Forgive me if this seems naive, because I do value doing those things myself especially dancing and singing, but how will this reveal aspects about myself that I can use to create a life that is best for me? (e.g. my strengths, needs, values etc.)

[Durka_Durka]

31 minutes ago, Durka_Durka said:

Forgive me if this seems naive, because I do value doing those things myself especially dancing and singing, but how will this reveal aspects about myself that I can use to create a life that is best for me? (e.g. my strengths, needs, values etc.)

@Zane I forgot to add this haha

[pluto]

In the ultimate silence, you hear everything.

In the ultimate darkness, you see everything.

When you combine the two, you find self.

[Durka_Durka]

@pluto Ok so being in silence is a good way, I understand that but is there not a way for me to focus my attention on who I am? 

[Phrae]

Leo said in his life purpose something along these lines:

One could say that finding one's purpose is really a journey of self-discovery

you can do this VIA strength test which was made by Martin Seligman and his team

and you can look at the book The Big Leap to discover your so called "Zone of Genius"

I haven't read the book but I presume he gives themes on what you are like.

You could do journaling about yourself as well.

I think you should get the course. It's pretty worth it. It gives a much thorough process. If you don't leave with your life purpose you're leaving with immense knowledge about yourself and very good sense of what you could be potentially doing at the very least

[Durka_Durka]

@Phrae That sounds great! I have the course but I discovered very soon into it that I have other issues to sort first. So maybe it would be good to do for that. 

Just as a question, how do you even journal? I have tried and it always felt so forced and inauthentic, I didn't feel like I was growing from it, was I doing it wrong or?

[Nahm]

Literally everything you're experiencing is the best source of self discovery. Learning from others, masters like Leo, all the gurus, all the speakers, that's great too, but the best source to discover anything, is the thing itself you desire to discover.

Edited February 12, 2017 by Nahm

[Durka_Durka]

@Nahm So do you think that just sitting on my own and asking the question of who I am would be a good way of finding myself?

[Elisabeth]

18 minutes ago, Durka_Durka said:

So do you think that just sitting on my own and asking the question of who I am would be a good way of finding myself?

 

I think that asking questions is brilliant, but much easier if you have experience to build on. Forgive me, but I'm guessing you're young, like teens or very early twenties. If so, if you can get yourself in diverse life situations, that will do a lot for you that meditation can't (in my personal opinion, I'm not that versed in meditation). It's both and, life experience + contemplation & meditation, that gives you self-knowledge. 

Go live alone, and you'll know if it suits you or not. Go try work you've never done for a few weeks of your school vacation, and you'll know if it's exciting or boring. Have a relationship. If it ends, you'll know how you react to pain, if it continues, you'll know how you love (this particular person at least), both ways you'll discover a value or two of yours. Those lessons are among the clearest ones we get from life. 

Edited February 12, 2017 by Elisabeth

[Nahm]

21 minutes ago, Durka_Durka said:

@Nahm So do you think that just sitting on my own and asking the question of who I am would be a good way of finding myself?

I think that is your best source of self discovery.

If I want to discover the nutrients of a banana, I'm going to need a banana. Everything else is just believing what someone else says is true. 

[Flare]

@Nahm @Durka_Durka

Don't sit still if you want to find yourself, based on what you are saying. You are searching for your functional self. Meditation does have the goal to cut distraction so you can tap into your true self. You are always your true self, there is no way to see or find it, you can only experience the "(I) am" state.  Franz of assisi once said: "What are you looking for, is already where are you looking from." But if i got you right here, you're not interested (in the first place) to find the consciousness you are, but what you are as a human being interacting with the world. Meditation will most likely just get you to feel your true self without distraction, which is indeed a good thing. 

This said finding who you are (in this world) goes through interactions. As the psychoanalyst Lacan said: "All things in this world behave like mirrors." Every emotion, every event teaches you something about who you are. So the more different things you are able to experience the more you will find who your functional self really is. Try a lot of stuff, try to feel every emotion deeply - don't suppress it. Go all out. As for strengths, if you just meditate on your strengths, but you didn't try enough things to see on what you're really good at, you can't get a result that will satisfy you in the long run - you need to stretch your horizon first. Therefore you gotta try many different things. After all that you might be able to get some insights on your mere being on this planet by meditating.

(Underlying here is the theory from Schopenhauer, which he actually copied from the Veda; reality is a combination of an object and the perception of an subject. In between those two your reality is created. Your perception is the vehicle through you can find who you are.) 

Last but not least: I suggest you to pick your values. You might got some values that are based on bad feelings etc., which you don't really want. Values are not given, as talent or anything else is. Start act upon the values you want to embody and your self will follow up by evolving habits. 

Best wishes!

Edit: Asking yourself question and answering them can be something great or something terrible. It does depend on the level you're at. It can lead to massive rationalizations, which will just fuck you up or it can lead you to who you really are. But you first truly need to get rid of the process - since there is no reality/experience in the moment to challenge it.

Edited February 12, 2017 by Flare

[Durka_Durka]

@Elisabeth You are right I'm actually 20 haha! So making sure to throw myself into uncomfortable situations and keep asking myself questions about who I am, my values, strengths etc. is one of the best ways to go about it?

[Durka_Durka]

@Nahm I cannot argue with that logic haha  

[Durka_Durka]

@Flare That sounds like decent advice, especially because I do believe that the true self is something I will discover later in my life. However I do have to ask, what do you mean by "getting rid of the process"?

[Flare]

@Durka_Durka Oh I'm 20 too.  

You're usually rationalizing everything you do in the first place, since your mind need to make sense of your actions to maintain your persona. In addition to that rationalizing can be very helpful to protect you from negative emotions, having a story why certain things happen/you feel a certain way protects you from your pain/anxiety, or whatever negative feeling my pop up. By just challenging every story you won't get away with. You just gotta try to call it (but let it be) out every time. Ultimately you won't know why you, or others act  a certain way. Try to see situations as they are, at least that's how i managed to do it. But every one got his own way of finding through the mists of one's mind. You "just" need to evolve a meta-awareness in which state you're in right know. But be aware of the fact, that it won't go hand in hand with only positive emotions. 

 

[Elisabeth]

13 hours ago, Durka_Durka said:

@Elisabeth You are right I'm actually 20 haha! So making sure to throw myself into uncomfortable situations and keep asking myself questions about who I am, my values, strengths etc. is one of the best ways to go about it?

Well, yeah, I'm 27 and it sounded like a question I might have posted a few years ago O:) "What the fuck do you mean by knowing myself?" My today's answer is knowing how I react in different situations and what suits me an what doesn't - acquired by non-judgemental self observation. I came to that conclusion, because life threw me into a very difficult situation relationship-wise, which gave me some pretty solid experietal knowledge about what I want and don't want.  

I'm doing the life purpose course now. If you're looking for your values and strengths, that's exactly what Leo has guidance on in a part of the course, so I just did the exercises and I have my "top" list. Doing so took a few days and was beneficial for sure. The way to generate the list was partly dreaming and gut reaction, but also a lot of relating to experience I've had. I find the values which I haven't "tested" much living in the real world to be vague and on shaky foundation. I think I could follow my own advice and get more new experience  

[Durka_Durka]

@Flare But then is that not just accepting things the way they are and not questioning them and trying to change them. Especially when it is internal?

[Durka_Durka]

@Elisabeth I'm doing the life purpose course at the minute and it seems so good so far. I'm reading The Hero's Journey at the minute. So from what you're saying, do you think that maybe a monthly review of my values by using Leo's values and strengths stuff might be a good way of going about it then? Because, if I understand correctly, experiential knowledge seems to be the best way to really understand your values?