I Have No Subjects When Talking To Girls And With People, Help?

[blacksapp]

Hey guys, good morning.
I'm facing this problem in self-development process:
I've had depression and this time made me get into like a zombie mode and I kinda don't have subjects with people and idk how to start a conversation n stuff...looks so akward when I try to get close to someone and just have a damn normal conversation.
I'm doing meditation and it gets better but sometimes I just normally get myself too quiet and can't think about an subject...
Any tips? 

Edited February 8, 2017 by blacksapp

[ajasatya]

@blacksapp ask things you ask yourself and things you want to know about her. ask then listen. ask then listen.

[Nahm]

@blacksapp I agree. Ask and listen. Ask open ended questions. Be a learner and really take an interest when someone talks about something you can't relate to. Find the agreements. 

 

Priming yourself is another option. Like watch a video about confidence, or making social situations easy, or talking to girls, or whatever. A simple 5 minute video can tune you and get you in a helpful state of mind. 

The depression stands out to me as the underlying cure though. Are you able to exercise? Talk to a dr maybe, and or a nutritionist. Watch Christmas Vacation again? 

[Loreena]

Get into a positive state of mind. Once you feel confident, you could explore stuff that you can discuss about. Read books, articles, watch movies, hang out with other friends. Once you get more social and creative, ideas will pop on their own. You can then find interesting topics and ideas to discuss with her. Keep your mind open. 

Edited February 13, 2017 by Loreena

[Jmunk]

1. http://www.yourcharismacoach.com 

You should read his (free) eBook about how to; talk to anyone without fear of rejection '21 secrets to conversational mastery''

Edited February 13, 2017 by Jmunk

[Flare]

Just see everything you say as important. It's mainly how you say something, that determines how something is perceived. You could talk about something really interesting, if you don't but the energy behind it is worthless. You can talk about something completely unimportant and with the right energy it will still be perceived as interesting. Just start practicing, your energy will follow up. Maybe take someone you have known for a long time an start experimenting how you can achieve such energy. And always remember as I said: everything is important.

If you find something where you can really go deep in a certain topic, within this process, - even better.

[blacksapp]

Thank you, guys!
I will try to get a little confidence, and then try to start small talks to get somewhere and 'train' a little bit!
Thanks!!!

[Toby]

Don't focus on yourself only. It also depends on the other person and the chemistry or connection you have with them. With some there is just nothing really to talk about, even though they might seem attractive to you on some level. That is at least my experience.

[Evilwave Heddy]

I got a challenge for you.

Sit down, clear your mind and visualize yourself speaking with people.  Not just that but visualize yourself not caring/overthinking shit, being confident, and being well spoken.  Also visualize them being interested in what you are saying.  Visualize yourself as someone you see on television who speaks well and confidently and is a great conversation starter.  Visualize that it is you.  Now while visualizing this try get a sense of where you are in this visualization.  Is there a smell?  Maybe there's a smell from the person you're speaking to or a smell of a bakery just across the way.  Is it raining?  Sunny? Snowing?  Visualize it so it is like you're actually there speaking confidently with this person/girl.  What you need to do is visualize for 15-30 minutes every day of you speaking confidently and making the conversation flow.  Do this for 21 days/3 weeks and see if there is any improvement.

Your subconscious doesn't notice the difference between reality and imagination...so doing this visualizing is basically like practicing it in reality.  This is why visualization is so powerful and why Leo recommends it in many of his videos.

p.s change visualizations every day..so for example the setting, person, smells etc.

 

Edited February 14, 2017 by Evilwave Heddy