It is through lack of awareness that men and women struggle to relate

[Razard86]

I have done a lot of research both online and offline, through my own personal experiences and the anecdotal experiences of others. I have incorporates published studies, hundreds of personal opinions of others and myself and books, articles and videos. What I have come to realize through all of this is that men and women seek to understand each other but lack the patience and the respect needed to reach this point. This is a result of how they have been conditioned, and until they realize that their beliefs are blocking them from what they want they are doomed to never have the satisfying relationship they want in a romantic partner. I will give some information that teaches how we can over come this issue collectively, although it will have to probably start in the home. 

Feminine Energy (The Creative Energy/The Relating Energy): This is the energy that connects us to life and its attempt to express itself. It represents our individuality, and desire to experience the present moment. It is the purest expression of love, and has a desire to expand in all directions, the feminine is what connects us to our TRUE SELF and is the reason why the more conscious we are the more we embrace this aspect of ourselves. The Feminine hates boundaries and seeks to dispel and transcend all boundaries.

Ex: Nurturing, Embracing, Encouraging, Listening, Inspiring, 

Masculine Energy (The Directing Energy/The Guiding Energy): This is the energy that seeks to understand. In contrast to the feminine that seeks to experience and express life, the Masculine seeks to understand and thus create a map to navigate life. The Masculine is the translator of the Infinite into the Finite. The Masculine divides, it separates, in order to process the flood of information. The Masculine's main drive is survival, and direction. As a result the Masculine is concerned with erecting boundaries both for protection but also to translate and create a path that makes sense. 

What we do not realize is that all of reality works on these two main energies. Without the Masculine we would not SEE, without the Feminine there is NO THING there to SEE. These two energies work in tandem and through their cooperation CREATION is formed.

Ex: Learning, Deciphering, Contemplating, Teaching, Guiding, Building.

Edited April 2, 2022 by Razard86

[Razard86]

In Western Society, we have elevated Logic, Sports, Politics, Business and War and as a result we hold Masculine Energy (The negative expression as well) in the highest regard. Because we are focused on results, we have repressed the Feminine and its Value. As a result for an individual to learn to be creative they must drop many of the beliefs instilled upon them and regain their authority. The Feminine will only follow the guidance of the Masculine if it is authentic and many times the masculine energy you are exposed to in life is manipulative and exploitive. This causes many over time to leave their social conditioning and start to form or develop their own Masculine Nature but the problem is while they were trained on how to develop and harness the Masculine, they never learned how to develop, honor, and integrate their Feminine.

When you repress your Feminine, you deny your emotions and feelings. This means you are denying your experience of life and your own unique expression of it. As a result both your body, mind, and spirit will pay the price. This is why we are so neurotic as a society. We have not been taught in the West how to look INWARD, how recognize and make sense of our feelings. Since we deny our feelings we PROJECT them onto our environment and BLAME PEOPLE, and CIRCUMSTANCES for the reason why we FEEL THE WAY WE DO. This is problematic for several reasons.

1. Emotions are our creation. Proof of your divinity, like thoughts emotions spring up out of NO-THING. Denying your emotions is denying your divinity and creative power. Blaming something outside of you for its creation is giving your power away to a person or situation.

2. Denying your Emotions stops you from discovering the cause or source of those feelings. Think of emotions as a wild animal. If it is not given proper attention it will become MORE UNRULY. What many do not know is that your emotions when repressed are held within the body. For example repressed anger causes lower back pain. So the more you repress your emotions and feeling the more your body will suffer the consequences.

3. Your emotions are the fruit from the branches of thoughts you hold which stem from your belief and are from the Tree of your Identity. If you want healthy emotions you need a healthy Tree. The most important thing you need to fix this whole process is to choose an identity that will serve you. In the Eastern Tradition in Yoga they have chosen to identify with everything, to believe in separation as an illusion. This is a deeply personal choice but your identity in every situation will determine your perception of reality from which all things spring forth.

Ways to get in touch with your emotions. 

1. Take some time to yourself and ask yourself questions. Then sit and wait for the emotions and feeling to arise. Sit and experience it and then attempt to decipher it. After deciphering it, question yourself again if this was the interpretation and conclusion you were looking for. Rinse and repeat until you feel satisfied. This can be a long process and patience is necessary.

2. Write a journal of feelings. Just write whatever comes to mind, does not matter whether it makes sense. Just unleash it all, take in the contradictory nature of your emotions, understand that the greater in awareness you become the greater access to perspectives you have and the greater emotions you will express. The more complex you are, the more complex the emotional expression. Accept it and honor all feelings even if you disagree with the logical source it comes from.

3. Self-Care: You may have been denying indulging in your favorite past times. Life is to be experienced!! So go engage in your favorite activities.

4. Meditation: This is self-explanatory. The closer you get to your higher SELF the closer you get to becoming authentic which is the GREATEST union of the Masculine and Feminine. Understand that creation is REAL= AUTHENTIC. Anything that has properly balanced the masculine and feminine will be REAL, because this is what reality is a UNION.

As a result of these type of messages being seen as "weak" or a "waste of time" mental health has emerged in the past decades as the fastest growing field in medicine. More and more mental health issues are increasing, impacting everyone from the poorest to the richest. This is proof that focusing on the outer world and and denying the inner world creates a lack of balance. No matter how rich and successful you are if you deny your feelings you WILL suffer the consequences. 

I will write more on this later....

[aurum]

11 hours ago, Razard86 said:

What we do not realize is that all of reality works on these two main energies. Without the Masculine we would not SEE, without the Feminine there is NO THING there to SEE. These two energies work in tandem and through their cooperation CREATION is formed.

Yeah this is the key.

Neither repressed masculine or feminine is the answer.

If we zoom in, at times we may need more of one energy than the other. But from a larger perspective, both play an essential role.

[Preety_India]

The masculine has rejected femininity because in most cultures masculine is considered superior to feminine.as a result the masculine has forgotten to become the container for the feminine. The masculine is the container and the feminine is the contained. Without the container the feminine feels deprived, starved, hungry and unfulfilled ,so there is no relationship. The feminine eventually starts rejecting the masculine to avoid getting hurt and continues on it's own journey as a single woman and seeks satisfaction within.

 

 

[Razard86]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

The masculine has rejected femininity because in most cultures masculine is considered superior to feminine.as a result the masculine has forgotten to become the container for the feminine. The masculine is the container and the feminine is the contained. Without the container the feminine feels deprived, starved, hungry and unfulfilled ,so there is no relationship. The feminine eventually starts rejecting the masculine to avoid getting hurt and continues on it's own journey as a single woman and seeks satisfaction within.

 

 

I like your thinking, but I wouldn't call the masculine a container, though you could certainly say that has been the role it has played throughout most of human history. But the Masculine cannot contain the Feminine, and if it tries to the Feminine will rebel. The feminine seeks expansion, all it wants from the Masculine is guidance not containment. To Contain means to house, to control, to surround, besides the Masculine couldn't contain the Feminine if it tried because the Feminine is Infinite. All the Masculine can do is guide, to teach, to separate, and translate. The Feminine is the Creative, Chaotic, and Impermanent Force of reality, the Masculine is the order which seeks to guide it. 

We like to compare Men and Women to the Masculine and Feminine since we are the physical expressions of each energy. But we have each within us and they are never separate. It is because of the Union of each that we are even able to experience reality. Cell Division and dna change is the expression of the feminine, how the process is structured and actually executed is the masculine. All change and expression is feminine, but the order, the process, is masculine. Form which is the expression of creation is the feminine, the cohesiveness of the form, and it how it functions is the masculine.

[puporing]

@Razard86 Great post! Love the point about us having both the Masculine and Feminine. I take so much joy from being able to embody both depending on what the situation calls for at any given time! I wish people could experience the joy I experience just by letting go of the need to latch onto one way of being and experiment more with life. There's such abundance and literal infinite ways to be (within the limitations of your current form). And I love experiencing/encountering masculine energy when it is expressed beautifully out there, it's literally irresistable. 

[Razard86]

17 minutes ago, puporing said:

@Razard86 Great post! Love the point about us having both the Masculine and Feminine. I take so much joy from being able to embody both depending on what the situation calls for at any given time! I wish people could experience the joy I experience just by letting go of the need to latch onto one way of being and experiment more with life. There's such abundance and literal infinite ways to be (within the limitations of your current form). And I love experiencing/encountering masculine energy when it is expressed beautifully out there, it's literally irresistable. 

As a man I came across a woman who had a strong masculine side but was able to also switch to her feminine side. I loved the way she expressed her masculine side in certain areas it was enlightening just to experience it first hand. Yes it is a wonderful freedom we all have denied ourselves because of social conditioning. It is certainly something that Western Society is going to wrestle with for a while. I will say humanities capacity to change will vary I swear I went up like 2 colors in 6 months in Spiral Dynamics. 

[puporing]

16 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

As a man I came across a woman who had a strong masculine side but was able to also switch to her feminine side. I loved the way she expressed her masculine side in certain areas it was enlightening just to experience it first hand. Yes it is a wonderful freedom we all have denied ourselves because of social conditioning. It is certainly something that Western Society is going to wrestle with for a while. I will say humanities capacity to change will vary I swear I went up like 2 colors in 6 months in Spiral Dynamics. 

That's awesome and pretty cool to hear!! Oh yeah, a more masculine woman outwardly can totally be feminine in a romantic situation, especially if she's aware of this in herself. Most people just kind of take someone at their face value and don't bother digging deeper or get intimidated.. :)!  

It's possible to quickly evolve I think with determination to do so at all cost (like the willingness to accept that your life might just 'turn upside down' after the fact haha), most are just not interested in this kind of rapid development, they want their reality reflected rather than trying to move beyond it continually to arrive at the truths. But like you say it's all creation. 

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Razard86 said:

I like your thinking, but I wouldn't call the masculine a container, though you could certainly say that has been the role it has played throughout most of human history. But the Masculine cannot contain the Feminine, and if it tries to the Feminine will rebel. The feminine seeks expansion, all it wants from the Masculine is guidance not containment. To Contain means to house, to control, to surround, besides the Masculine couldn't contain the Feminine if it tried because the Feminine is Infinite. All the Masculine can do is guide, to teach, to separate, and translate. The Feminine is the Creative, Chaotic, and Impermanent Force of reality, the Masculine is the order which seeks to guide it. 

We like to compare Men and Women to the Masculine and Feminine since we are the physical expressions of each energy. But we have each within us and they are never separate. It is because of the Union of each that we are even able to experience reality. Cell Division and dna change is the expression of the feminine, how the process is structured and actually executed is the masculine. All change and expression is feminine, but the order, the process, is masculine. Form which is the expression of creation is the feminine, the cohesiveness of the form, and it how it functions is the masculine.

You didn't understand containment. Watch Teal Swan on containment.

 

[Razard86]

3 hours ago, aurum said:

Yeah this is the key.

Neither repressed masculine or feminine is the answer.

If we zoom in, at times we may need more of one energy than the other. But from a larger perspective, both play an essential role.

I agree completely great post!!

[Razard86]

48 minutes ago, Preety_India said:

You didn't understand containment. Watch Teal Swan on containment.

 

I disagree with Teal Swan, because the "containment" she speaks of (which I still do not like the word because it violates the feminine desire to be free) is something the woman MUST cultivate in herself. The only reason a woman desires this in a man is a result of her not developing this in her self.

For a relationship to work, both man and woman need to be balanced (or close at least) in both masculine and feminine. Whatever energy that is out of balance will manifest in projection onto their partner. I used the word guide, because if a man tries to contain a woman who has properly integrated her masculine she will resist him as she will see his attempts to contain her as his attempt control her. A woman who has properly integrated her masculine does not NEED a man, she WANTS a man. She can properly handle her day to day activities and only desires a man because of what the relationship can provide in regards to companionship. This isn't to say that a woman does not want a man to provide security (which I believe is a better word, I can keep you secure without having to contain you) or for the man to ground her (give her a strong foundation) in which to full express herself.

Teal Swan is a pretty good teacher but she isn't as accurate on some things. I came across a video where she said people make you feel things, NOBODY makes us feel anything. All feelings are our own creation. Until we come to this realization our feelings will run amok.

[Razard86]

1 hour ago, puporing said:

That's awesome and pretty cool to hear!! Oh yeah, a more masculine woman outwardly can totally be feminine in a romantic situation, especially if she's aware of this in herself. Most people just kind of take someone at their face value and don't bother digging deeper or get intimidated.. :)!  

It's possible to quickly evolve I think with determination to do so at all cost (like the willingness to accept that your life might just 'turn upside down' after the fact haha), most are just not interested in this kind of rapid development, they want their reality reflected rather than trying to move beyond it continually to arrive at the truths. But like you say it's all creation. 

You are right on the willingness to accept that your life might just turn upside part. What happened with me is I lived life logically for 2 decades. I did all the "right" things and did not get the results I wanted. I decided too 2 years ago experiment and just do things illogically. I still kept researching but I started to keep an open mind, and luckily found what I needed after years of research I have a good B.S. detector too. Anyway it was only because logic failed me, I ran up against the limits of logic. I had multiple times of sitting ruminating logically OVER AND OVER AND OVER. I learned that there was an infinite number of variables in EACH situation. It taught me that there were limits to logic, and that there must be something else that someone needs to cultivate. That was Intuition, which is associated with the feminine.

 

[puporing]

58 minutes ago, Razard86 said:

I had multiple times of sitting ruminating logically OVER AND OVER AND OVER. I learned that there was an infinite number of variables in EACH situation. It taught me that there were limits to logic, and that there must be something else that someone needs to cultivate. That was Intuition, which is associated with the feminine.

Good for you for reaching that point and allowing yourself to be receptive to the limitations and what comes after that! Yes, serious questioning requires radical 'letting-go'-ness to re-examine things, which is more of a 'feminine trait', so a combination of the 'masculine' where it wants to figure things out/make sense of reality and the 'letting-go' of the feminine makes for a pretty holistic approach! 

[vizual]

The masculine/feminine dichotomy is like the alpha/beta/sigma male meme. It's very woo and vague and people abuse it for their political agenda and to elevate their ego's. Just going back and forth bickering about masculinity and femininity isn't going to solve anything, people just need to be them authentic selves. And sure, if you don't know who you are I understand people are going to be looking to abstract concepts that may give them an identity. But at that level it's just an ideology, not any different than people defining themselves by their religion or political affiliation.

Note that when you call a person a beta male, or having toxic masculinity or whatever, that is not constructive. Those terms are only used to get a rouse out of people, and to elevate themselves over the other.

People don't lack alpha traits, or masculine energy, or feminine energy or whatever other concept in the woo dictionary. People mostly lack common sense, self awareness, authenticity and integrity. And also, people are too arrogant to give honest feedback for the genuine good of the other. In stead, people just try to tear other people down.

Strive to be precise with your speech

[Razard86]

On 4/4/2022 at 5:39 AM, vizual said:

The masculine/feminine dichotomy is like the alpha/beta/sigma male meme. It's very woo and vague and people abuse it for their political agenda and to elevate their ego's. Just going back and forth bickering about masculinity and femininity isn't going to solve anything, people just need to be them authentic selves. And sure, if you don't know who you are I understand people are going to be looking to abstract concepts that may give them an identity. But at that level it's just an ideology, not any different than people defining themselves by their religion or political affiliation.

Note that when you call a person a beta male, or having toxic masculinity or whatever, that is not constructive. Those terms are only used to get a rouse out of people, and to elevate themselves over the other.

People don't lack alpha traits, or masculine energy, or feminine energy or whatever other concept in the woo dictionary. People mostly lack common sense, self awareness, authenticity and integrity. And also, people are too arrogant to give honest feedback for the genuine good of the other. In stead, people just try to tear other people down.

Strive to be precise with your speech

You think this because you do not understand the masculine and feminine paradigm. If you call this woo, then all language is woo which you could certainly make that argument. Masculinity and Femininity describes NATURE, and it also described the DIVINE. All words, are just symbols that describe things. Your bias against it is why you feel the way you do and as a result you won't understand the meaning that it brings. 

Masculinity represents order, logic. To organize something you have to separate it. To use logic you have to take in stimuli and separate it to make sense. When you watch Male behavior throughout history Men primarily engage in actions that seperate. They conquer, which seperates, they defend which seperates, they attack which seperates. Male behavior throughout history is naturally divisive. Its primarily thought based, and when you look at the structure of what we think of as a man it is primarily designed for physical activity. Even when you study the brains of men in general they align more towards the logical.

I could go on and on, Masculine isn't male, but is primarily expressed in the Male. Even the Male structure is more of a straight line. Which represents how the Man is more logical oriented in general. 

Women are fluid, and creative. They flow, as such their bodies are curvy which represents their desire to not be fixed or held in a box. Nature communicates through symbology all the time and the human body literally communicates the male female primary energy orientation through the physical representation of the body. There are more examples, but if you refuse to see it you will. 

[Razard86]

How Men and Women relate to each is filtered through their cultural beliefs.

Young Boys and Girls are taught their culture's standards on what makes a competent Man and Woman and through that paradigm they experience each other. If the standards are not constructive to the pairing of the two then these standards will cause a divide. The relationship dynamic is currently changing globally with the Traditional Role of the Woman changed in Western Society. Now that women have shed the Traditional Role what role does the Man play in relationships?

Women primarily make their own money and pay their own bills something in Western Society that use to be the domain of the man. Women have been pushed and prodded to be fiercely independent and some are even demonized for wanting to harken back to a more traditional role. In the wake of these new realities Man's role in relationship to Women has now been changed. How it has changed has been open to discussion and that is the current void for the modern relationship. 

What are your takes? What role should Modern Men play in relationship to women. Should they still take on traditional roles or should everything be split 50/50?