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Hardkill

You don't need an emotional connection to get casual sex?

8 posts in this topic

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Locario?Please, omg, I'm laughing so hard. :D

I don't know about this observation. Personally, I've never been attracted to anyone without emotional stimulation. I think you're conflating emotional connection with emotional stimulation. A connection might not have existed, yet stimulation is the key to successful attraction. 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

Cleared out ignore list today. 

..

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Remember what I said about the questions lol, but no you don't need it all the time. Women are animals too, sometimes they just want to fuck.


hrhrhtewgfegege

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8 minutes ago, Roy said:

Remember what I said about the questions lol, but no you don't need it all the time. Women are animals too, sometimes they just want to fuck.

I know you already told me that I shouldn't try to keep asking questions on what someone else's on opinions are. However, some of the questions I ask are one that have to do with me understanding what someone like Leo teaches in his vids which aren't just based on his opinions.

Also, a lot of times I get confused when I hear information that seems contradictory to me. For instance, I remember Leo explaining in his how to get laid vids that women need rapport most of the time in order to want to have sex with a guy they are attracted to. That to me meant that Leo was saying that women usually need some kind of emotional connection in order to feel comfortable with sleeping with a guy. However, Locario on the other hand mentioned yesterday in his vid that it's a myth that women need some kind of emotional connection in order to sleep with a guy. 

Was perhaps Leo not necessarily saying that you need to have a deep emotional connection with a girl, but at least have some kind of surface level rapport between the two of you and have some level of emotional stimulation like @Preety_India just said?

 

 

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There will always be exceptions to the general rule. I pulled a girl in college just by looking at each other from across the room. She walked by and I asked her to come to my room. I didn't even know her name until the next day lmao.

Outlier experiences are possible if you look hard enough.


hrhrhtewgfegege

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8 minutes ago, Hardkill said:

However, some of the questions I ask are one that have to do with me understanding

No they aren’t. Asking super general theoretical questions won’t help you at all. Actually it will damage your progress because it will put you in your head. The whole point here is to get the fuck out of your head and talk to new people, have new experiences

Get some experience then ask practical questions based on what happens to you

Edited by something_else

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It's the degrees of connection. A woman wouldn't just sleep with you if you didn't trigger her emotionally to some degree at least, sex itself gives good emotions. Its about meeting a minimum threshold of connection/comfort for them to have sex, once that minimum threshold is reached for her sexual attraction towards you along with comfort/safety threshold, she can act upon and participate in that with you. Minimum just means comfortable / connected enough and attractive enough to have sex, not that they have this amazingly deep connection in order to have sex, or for it to need to be at a maximum level. 

 

The minimum level of comfort needed will vary from girl to girl and the situation. If a girl is conservative or holds her self off for sex then it will be higher, if a girl is more liberal and in a party setting along with being drunk then her threshold is lower, if a girl is emotionally guarded due to past bad experiences/trauma then it may also be lower as she doesn't want to get too connected out of fear of being hurt yet she sleeps for pleasure, resources, validation etc. 

 

People can and do have sex just for pleasure, its not good or bad its just limited in what it provides as its not of depth. Its like eating junk food, its pleasurable but not satisfying, versus eating a healthy diet. 

 

@Preety_India Emotional connection vs emotional stimulation is a good way of putting it. The body is aroused, the mind is attracted and they both reinforce each other ie the mind connects and forms a romantic story of this person which illicits a emotional response in the body, or the body is aroused sexually and the mind rationalises these good feelings around the same person and confirms to itself how good this person is. Thats why in pick up they say create a bubble of 'us' which is a story of 'we' between the man and woman.

 

In this way there isn't really just casual sex, although it may start that way. Shouldn't the continuous positive emotions from sex with that person eventually bond that person to you as you rationalise the person must be good if your having sex with them, and start to elevate their positive traits in your mind which further reinforces the arousal of the body etc etc. 

 

I guess you need a minimal connection to get casual sex, but its hard to keep it casual if two people are continuously having sex over a period of time as the bond forms. 

Edited by zazen

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Okay, I think I get it a lot more. 

Thanks everyone for all of your responses.

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