Need advice on how to break free from lonliness and isolation

[GroovyGuru]

Hey guys.

I need help creating a solid plan on how to stop being lonely and isolated. This is becoming a MAJOR problem in my life and if I don't solve it now I'm gonna be fucked.

Bascially, exactly a year ago (Feb 2021), I decided that nothing was more important than figuring out my career situation. I had graduated with a degree that I didn't like, was recently laid off due to COVID reasons, and needed to figure out what to do with my life ASAP. Long story short, I spent an entire year teaching myself how to prorgram. I built some solid skills and an impressive portoflio, and now I've been a professional web developer for almost a month. Good. Now that aspect of my life is covered.

During the learning process however, I had to make a lot of sacrifices. I barely went out and associated with people. I declined invites to hang out, and stopped reaching out to people. Now this is coming back to bite me in the butt. At this point, I have almost 0 social life. This is a complete disaster for someone in my age group. I really don't have many friends (at least friends who still live in my city), and the friends I do have I hang out with a few times a month but we never do anything too crazy or adventerous. Any time friends or acquaintances go out and do fun stuff, I'm never invited. It's either because these events were organized by friends of friends who I'm not close with, or that I'm just perceived as a boring person maybe.

Also, I have  0 women in my life. This is also a becoming an insane problem for me. This post is not just limited to friendship, it's really about me lacking recent experience in the entire social matrix domain. I've been living the same day over and over for far too long. I work, exercise, read, browse the internet, and maybe meditate. That's it. I need advice on how to create a solid strategy to turn my life around. I am naturally introverted but this is now going into a very weird direction. I'm starting to get scared and worried and this is totally eating away at my mental health now. I'm a normal guy. I can be very sociable and funny and charming. I don't sit in my room and play computer games all day. I can be a valuable addition to people's lives. I know Leo made an entire series about attracting women and going out and stuff, I probably need to start doing that but I can't really remember if he mentioned going out alone vs with friends. Going out alone would be insanely difficult.

Anyways, what can I do guys? How can I make new friends or strengthen the existing friendships and acquaintanceships I already have? This is the missing link in my life. I have a good career, I'm healthy and in shape. My finances are in order. Fuck, I just need some companionship and some engagement with the opposite sex 

[Federico del pueblo]

42 minutes ago, GroovyGuru said:

Going out alone would be insanely difficult.

If you search "going out alone" in YouTube you find many videos on that. It's not nearly as impossible as it might seem.

I don't know how big your city is. But in many cities you can find Facebook groups for certain activities, like "new people in [whatever city], meet up groups for speaking a certain language etc.

Maybe you want to consider a new hobby where you would naturally meet new people. Like language learning courses, learning to dance salsa (you'll never regret having learnt that dance, it's amazing to meet girls), going to the gym.

And doing "cold approach", at day or night. If you do this at night you can certainly just chat up some people. There's no need to flirt or anything.

You must learn to just start more conversations wherever you are. It doesn't matter exactly what you do. People are everywhere.

 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yC2ZiPfwf1M
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qu-wFuDqZws

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nZ1q07WHuOs

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SuZ_f4oANGE

[Nahm]

Mention to the friends you hang out with a few times a month, to hyu when they go out next. You have lots of interests, try Meetup.com etc. It’s inherently enjoyable because you pick stuff you like. Have fun, let meeting him, her or them be the icing on the cake. Loosen the grip.

Meditate everyday, relax and just witness, even while you’re doing all your stuff. 

Not having much or even any experience is not lacking experience. Gotta change that kind of shortage thinking. 

Definitely watch Groundhog’s Day. Stands to be quite impactful. Get the message of it. 

Your life does sound is great order, lighten up on yourself so to speak. Clean the thinking up. You’re attracting. Relax more. Let what you want come to you more. 

Worrying is experienced now, or not at all. Never in a future. Put the stake in the ground. No more. Seize now, and you seize your whole life. 

[aurum]

@GroovyGuru A lot of people are isolated right now. No real magic formula I know, you’re just going to have to be proactive about it.

What’s stopping you from doing some cold approach? Or reaching out to old friends? Or attending local events?