I can't comprehend that other people see me and form an opinion of me

[Ulax]

Or that they would ever think of me. Im sort of shaking as i write this because ive never put this out there before.

Because if it is true that i can be seen then my whole life is a lie, and how could be people have been so fucking horrible to me..

[Nadosa]

What do you mean? Could you elaborate?

[Ulax]

Like if we were to have a conversation i wouldnt be able to comprehend that you would see a person that you would label as ulax.

[Nadosa]

Can you be okay with that?

[Ulax]

@Nadosa Probably. But that's besides the point for me, I don't want to work on being okay with whatever it is in this thread. Instead, I want to understand what is going on.

[Nadosa]

Yes, that is fine. What is it you want to understand? Do you fear people think about you? Or like, you fear the thought that others see you as a person? Could you tell me about the fear exactly?

Edited January 18, 2022 by Nadosa

[Cathal]

Whatever people think of you through opinion or judgment and is a reflection of how they see themselves so however people treat you is just them communicating how you can understand them if you can see that. Same case for you. If people bother you it's something to do with you.

No one has ever seen you, neither have you seen yourself. Who is looking at the body in the mirror? What is aware of the space where thoughts are arising and passing? 

Take some relief in it really, no one gives a shit 

[Nahm]

On 1/17/2022 at 8:23 PM, Ulax said:

Or that they would ever think of me. Im sort of shaking as i write this because ive never put this out there before.

Believes thoughts about you, yet never actually thinks about you. 

Quote

Because if it is true that i can be seen then my whole life is a lie, and how could be people have been so fucking horrible to me..

You can’t be seen either, no need to worry about that thought either. 

Conditioning, thought attachment, and emotional suppression would be why. Kinda the how. 

“My whole life is a lie” isn’t actual. The thought arising about a my whole life, which is conceptual, is believed or not. But it is the thoughts which is, so to speak, the “lie” or simply, not true per se, but conceptualization. 

https://youtu.be/2X5Dr-uFVGw

”Cause I couldn’t tell, why everyone here was doin me like they do”. 

 

This, right now, is ‘your whole life’. This is the real, not the past or future. What do you want to focus on and experience next? 

[happyhappy]

@Ulaxhaha! projection and judgement are ego's fav mechanisms. they serve the ego's function of survival . and this judgement is an evolutionary trait embedded on to human psyche to quickly understand whom to trust, whom not to, who to stay away from and so on. if some guy walk around the streets with a machine gun and ammo hanging around his shoulder, if people do not make an opinion or an idea of this dude and do not  plan to stay away  away from him, what would happen?

if we go to subway today with evil joker style clown masks on, i could bet most would try to stay out of us their minds would immediately track us and make note to stay away from these MFers. This is how human society operates and we cannot change it easily since they are survival mechanisms evolved for ages.

people immediately will form an opinion of you . it's human nature and ig better advice in coping and accepting it are given by other users above. i just wanted to point out that this is the nature of ego and an evolutionary survival mechanism of it.

Edited January 19, 2022 by happyhappy

[Reciprocality]

The idea that you can be a someone in another persons mind can be enough to blow you mind, it never stopped blowing mine.

What would you be if there were in you no theory of other minds? Most would die, this idea of others contains alone the power to make you mad if you let it. 

Your relative essence, the personality etc will never be truly captured by anyone of those minds even if the lights are truly on at their end. If you are anxiety ridden this may give some relief to contemplate.