I hate myself so much

[silene]

46 minutes ago, B_HAZ said:

I can't even open up fully to my therapist and my coach because I feel ashamed of my issues I don't want them to see how much I'm broken and dysfunctional 

I agree with @Mu_  You're the one with the judgement and shame which is holding you back from healing. Bottling it up is much harder in the long run.  Therapists have seen it before, are well trained and won't judge or be shocked, it's their job to be supportive and practical.  unconditional positive regard  as it's sometimes described.

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, B_HAZ said:

I wrote this post after many attempts of allot of things and I'm starting to lose hope thats why 
I can't even open up fully to my therapist and my coach because I feel ashamed of my issues I don't want them to see how much I'm broken and dysfunctional 

Actually you should open up to your therapist as much as possible because that's the whole goal of therapy. Bottling up those issues inside will not give the therapist a clearer picture. 

It's almost like hiding your kidney ailment from a doctor 

 

[Preety_India]

@B_HAZ the reason you feel ashamed is because you have shamed yourself into it.

Let go of the shame and judgement and see how it sets you free. 

It's important to be as neutral as possible with yourself. You're tightly clutching on to beliefs that aren't serving a good purpose other than making you feel small and unworthy. 

Get out of it. Easier said than done. But take gradual steps