My personal feelings part 1

[Preety_India]

No nonsense in my journal please. 

Any unpleasant comment by anyone  will be deleted. People have a bad habit of commenting unpleasant stuff and I have low tolerance for that shit. Learning how to keep my boundaries intact. 

 

[Preety_India]

I like this

✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•ஜீ☼۞۞☼ஜீ•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿ஜீ۞ஜீ✿

 

 

 

I'll change it slightly 

✿✿۞✿✿•.¸¸.•*`*•.•✿☼۞۞☼✿•.•*`*•.¸¸.•✿✿۞✿✿

 

Copied it from someone here and put it in my signature. 

 

Edited November 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Felt too exhausted and tired right now. 

 

[Preety_India]

I've begun to focus on my projects now. 

This is good. 

[Preety_India]

I'm so hungry right now. 

I generally feel hungrier in winter than usual.. 

[Preety_India]

Telling myself to drink a lot of water today. 

 

 

Work on your shadow around relaxing and getting rest. 

I really need a ton of rest. 

 

[Preety_India]

Breathe deeply. Just relax. Sleep if needed. Find the sweater and wear it and keep comfy. Make soups during winter. 

Eat a lot and drink plenty to keep warm. 

Keep clean and clutter free 

Take care of grooming don't stay dry. 

Invest a bit in self love. 

Straighten up stuff. 

 

[Preety_India]

I've been so sleepy and tired. Exhausted. 

I don't know what caused my exhaustion because I don't remember doing anything particular. 

I think I just woke up at that time and I don't remember doing much else. 

Maybe I woke up and slept again? 

I need to a bunch of stuff today.. Today is November 23.

7 days to go and I'll have so much more to do. 

I still feel sleepy.. I had taken a month's break on the forum and. 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

This is the cutest thing I saw in my entire life.. 

https://youtube.com/shorts/E5z8W3DUnys?feature=share

[Preety_India]

I took a major step today to make things better. 

 

[Preety_India]

I feel like I have grown so much in terms of maturity and nuance. 

I have undergone a metamorphosis. 

I understand people and pick up social cues better now than before. 

I have come a long way and yes it has taken some time but it's never too late to learn anything 

I have blocked a lot of social drama from my life successfully. 

I have learned that being too personal with people comes at its own cost especially when it's not reciprocated in a good way. 

Plus I'm learning a lot about maintaining a social ego which I didn't have before. 

Ego games look stupid to me personally.. 

 

But I have realized that if I'm to be a part of general society  I better learn these games and learn to be good at it to protect my own social sanity. 

 

[Preety_India]

I have used confrontational language in the past because my nature is such that I'm easily provoked.. 

 So far I've learned that confrontational behavior only leads to more conflict and hate. 

It doesn't serve a purpose. 

So I'm trying to be as less confrontational as possible. 

I'm trying to understand social psychology in depth and it takes a horrible amount of time to learn these things. 

 

[Preety_India]

Learning socialization is very difficult for someone like me who has long struggled with social anxiety. 

I have avoided social aspects for the majority of my life. 

It's just that social things cause a lot of drama in my life and I'm a drama-sensitive person. 

I picked up early on from my mother's behavior to avoid drama causing women as much as possible. 

Now when it comes to socialization, there are certain things that are very important. It's not simply about learning social tact. 

Picking social cues and learning social tact is simply one aspect of living among people. 

The other aspects are related to psyche. 

Like social attitude and social confidence. 

Much of my social behavior was a result of lack of social confidence.. 

I couldn't place boundaries. I couldn't say no. I didn't know how to be strong and polite at the same time. 

Social attitude is another thing. How you are and how you behave socially dictates a lot of what type of people will exist in your social circle. If you attract unwanted people it's because you engage in those behaviors.. 

You engage in neutral behaviors and you attract neutral people 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Being too confrontational and being too sweet. 

I think both are problematic. Being too sweet causes people to treat you like a doormat and brings in unnecessary drama.. 

 

[Preety_India]

These are the things I learned last month when I took a break from the forum 

 

 

 

• Social tact 
• Social cues 
• Confrontational language 
• Nuance 
• Maturity 
• Social attitude and psyche 
• Social games and politics 
• Foresight 
• Social psychology 
• Social awareness 
• Social confidence. 
• Boundaries 
• Not being too sweet 
• Neutral attitude and behavior 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

One thing that I learned from my break from the forum is to stay the fuck away from confrontational and emotionally triggering topics. 

I have learned that people who constantly open such threads are the types who probably have tons of time to waste, love getting into conflicts and unnecessary arguments and are just generally trigger happy drama creating attention seeking people. So it's best to avoid conversations in those type of threads. Of course these people aren't exactly interested in learning because they go on endlessly arguing and always say negative crap. 

No need to feed them anymore. 

Also there is no need to be hyper critical because it has no advantage. 

 

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The more I learn about socialization the more I feel like yuck.. 

It takes me down a rabbit hole of racism, prejudice, bias, hatred, discrimination, selfishness, materialism, shallowness, boredom and lack of love, spirituality, consciousness 

You can't find consciousness in a brothel! 

 

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

You truly went through a metamorphosis my precious butterfly ? 

I am proud, so so proud of you, seeing you grow makes me feel so very happy ? 

You’re doing a great job hun bun 

I love and adore you so much ❤️

 

Edited November 24, 2021 by Marcel

[Preety_India]

For some reason I'm feeling weirded out on this forum 

 

 I'm feeling freaked out right now. I can't explain it. 

But something is giving me the creeps. Like an awful feeling. As though there is something wrong in this place but I can't put my finger on it. It just feels freaky and absurd. 

There is bad juju here, it gets to me everytime because I tend to feel things rather than think. 

People are obsessed with very shallow stuff here although they call it a spiritual place. 

This place is not good for someone who is trying to spiritually progress. It's a downer 

I try so hard to fit in here but it always seems very elusive to me.. 

I was doing well for a while interacting with people but I get the ominous feeling again.. 

I guess it's just not wise to interact with people here anymore. 

And I'm not a people hater. I like interactions. In real life I'm a very friendly good kind person. 

But for reasons this place brings out the worst in me and always, puts me in a bad mood. 

I say this place is worse than social media. Because even there people have some dignity.. 

Some of the comments I read here make me wanna throw up or very upset like there is no hope for humanity. 

In the outside world there are lots of good people. So I shouldn't let this place dictate what I think of the world 

I have never seen people saying directly crass things the way I see here. 

Also there is too much racism in this place, everything is always made about race but it's always very indirect and covert and I'm such a person that I always pick up things mentally. So I always sense covert things. 

This place has a bad mental vibe. It's like entering a house with bad juju and you don't know why you feel sad but you feel sad anyway. 

I'm a psychic and I tend to sense things psychically all the time. Like if someone has good intent I sense it. 

My psychic sense is pretty strong. Because I literally feel through things. 

So i don't talk philosophically. 

Because I see things for what they are and so I just directly say it rather than beating around the bush. 

Right now I feel like I should take a break from the forum and focus on my journaling. 

Also although socialization is necessary and it teaches you a lot of things, this place is not ideally designed for healthy interactions or healthy Socialization. It's too antagonizing and gives out a "weird" vibe. 

I'm dealing with something that is not good or wise. And I should do what's wise. 

I'll completely stop interacting on the forum altogether because every time I do I'm disappointed by the lack of encouraging vibe. The antagonizing responses. The covert closet feel to every response. It gets to me. There is some sort of a stinking elitism here that I absolutely cannot tolerate. 

A person who is genuine will not be able to adapt to this place. It's like you're desperately trying to fit into a dysfunctional community and it never works. 

For example if you're trying to fit into a group of friends who are constantly boasting how rich they are, would you be able to truly fit in? No. Because you just don't share the same mindset or values so eventually you skip no matter how hard you try to fit in. 

It's like an abusive relationship or a toxic boyfriend/girlfriend. No matter how much you try to make the relationship work, the abuse will always exist. And the only solution is to break it completely and move on for peace.. 

I tried to come back to the forum as an experiment to see if I can fit in. Nope. I can't. The politics here is too strong. I tend to sense it. Even if I don't feel triggered or provoked like I used to, there is a certain discomfort or annoyance I constantly feel when I read certain posts. It creates feelings of disgust. I tend to feel a not so friendly feeling or even neutral or calmness when I read here. Although not angered or triggered, it's still makes me feel like I don't want to be a part of it. Like I wouldn't want to be a part of group of people who boast about wealth. Just an example. It's not about being triggered. It's just that it doesn't align with who I am and puts me in a difficult position. 

This place is not spiritually aligned to my needs. It's too "heavy" and I'm a light hearted person who likes to be happy, chill and just generally nice. I don't think too deep or make a big deal. I just like to say my thank you's and greetings whenever I can.. I don't go too far out to make everything look like a big fucking deal. I don't feel the need to proclaim anything. 

OK enough said. I will focus on my journals and take a break from the forum. 

 

[Preety_India]

Another thing to tell myself is -

Don't be discouraged. 

 

(I'm Going to be discussing stage orange spirituality, a new concept). 

(I'm implemented a lot of changes in myself).