How to tell if a guy really loves you ?

[tsuki]

@Preety_India The problem with love in relationships is that we are only able to recognize love that we were given. Our primary love-givers were our parents.

It would be all nice and dandy if they were perfect, but they aren't and we conflate lots of things that are actually hurtful. Still, real fulfillment in the domain of relationships comes from actual love, not its imitations. You may be genuinely convinced that the partner loves you, or that you love him, and yet - you may be hurting each other.

So, the first step is to look within about what we think love is, how our parents loved us and see if it is really true love. 

As for the practical side of things, I learned that there are three components to relationships: commitment, intimacy and passion. Apart from personal sovereignty, commitment is the ground. It boils down to simultaneous decision of both lovers to provide whatever the other one needs from us, and the trust that the partner wants to provide for us. Acting on this decision is love.

Then, there is intimacy, which is genuine interest in the truth of the other person, their needs, desires, history, habits, body, emotions, intellect, etc. The truth from their perspective. Acting on this interest is love.

The third area is passion. This is the longing for closeness with the other, openness and hope for the shared future, and seeing the best in them. Building this feeling is love.

Any action that diminish abovementioned areas is not love and should be dropped if the relationship is to be sustained.

Edited July 22, 2021 by tsuki

[Vzdoh]

@Preety_India how to know if a guy loves you? 

Conclusions from my personal experience:

- a guy prioratises you and prioratises spending time with you no matter how busy he might be

- he tries to learn what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what you like, what u dislike, basically he is interested in you as a person and tries to learn everything possible about you so that he can make you happier by doing some things for you

- he protects you and cares about you which makes you feel protected and safe and fundamentally you trust him and know you can rely on him

- he listens and respects you and your opinion because you are special and important for him, so he cares about what you, ve got to say or what u think

- he welcomes open and honest communication between you two. He does not dismiss you. You feel like you can share how u feel about him or things he does or your overall emotional state with him in an open and vulnerable way

- he is vulnerable with you. He lets you deep inside, you know about his insecurities and issues and he trusts you with this info because he feels safe with you

- he wants you sexually, he finds you attractive, he can't get enough of you, he wants to be closer and more intimate with you as relationship goes on

- he progresses the relationship slowly but steadily 

- he shows his emotions with you, true emotions about how he feels about things

- he does things for you, gives you gifts, treats you nicely, spends time with you, pays you compliments, he likes to touch you often. 

 

Therr is no hot and cold, inconsistency, u never wonder how he feels about you, you trust him, you feel protected and secure around him, u feel like u can rely upon him, you feel you can talk about anything with him and be open and honest

 

That's in a nutshell ❤️♥️❤️?

[Preety_India]

1 hour ago, Vzdoh said:

@Preety_India how to know if a guy loves you? 

Conclusions from my personal experience:

- a guy prioratises you and prioratises spending time with you no matter how busy he might be

- he tries to learn what makes you tick, what makes you happy, what you like, what u dislike, basically he is interested in you as a person and tries to learn everything possible about you so that he can make you happier by doing some things for you

- he protects you and cares about you which makes you feel protected and safe and fundamentally you trust him and know you can rely on him

- he listens and respects you and your opinion because you are special and important for him, so he cares about what you, ve got to say or what u think

- he welcomes open and honest communication between you two. He does not dismiss you. You feel like you can share how u feel about him or things he does or your overall emotional state with him in an open and vulnerable way

- he is vulnerable with you. He lets you deep inside, you know about his insecurities and issues and he trusts you with this info because he feels safe with you

- he wants you sexually, he finds you attractive, he can't get enough of you, he wants to be closer and more intimate with you as relationship goes on

- he progresses the relationship slowly but steadily 

- he shows his emotions with you, true emotions about how he feels about things

- he does things for you, gives you gifts, treats you nicely, spends time with you, pays you compliments, he likes to touch you often. 

 

Therr is no hot and cold, inconsistency, u never wonder how he feels about you, you trust him, you feel protected and secure around him, u feel like u can rely upon him, you feel you can talk about anything with him and be open and honest

 

That's in a nutshell ❤️♥️❤️?

Great list finally. Really appreciated.