Blackhawk

Some thoughts about reality and my worthlessness, etc.

91 posts in this topic

dude everyone is worthless not only you. Relax. Now I don't know your situation, so maybe this answer shouldn't be taken seriously cause it may make things worse. But really , if it makes things better then consider this. Everyone is worthless. Even Tesla, Einstein, whoever made this world awseome (not saying the guy that discovered atomic bomb did something good ) are worhless. 

But it's the way you see it. You can feel like everything is worthless, or worthy. I choose the 2nd and I think it's true. Not because worth is something that exist out of the human psychic, but because that's just how it feels in its own. A crippled person that offers nothing to society feels worthy to me. Many people believe these people should die like nazis did to them but I am disgusted by those people, they are way more than people think. But me going to lenghts to make them happy, no I don't do that, I am not that not selfish, I just don't want to harm them. And there is some chance I will risk my life saving them. Probably more than saving a woman that I want her to make me feel like a man and then feel attraction and then have sex with her. Because I feel more bad for a crippled person. Everyone has some biases on who he/she finds more empathy. And for me is the crippled person that some dudes (or women) try to destroy for no reason. Of course this is hypothetical. 

also you say love is selfish. Ok it is. So what? it's not that bad. Or maybe it is and I don't know it. Parents condition to love their children is that it is their children. It's conditional. But still it's good thing. It's not so bad. Don't cry about it, not cause it's bad to cry about it but because there is no reason to do it. Life still has opportunities. Or I am wrong and you actually have very good points. I think your points are good anyway but I see also good possibilities that make things better.

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Posted (edited)

@Blackhawk nowadays most types of conditions have support groups where you can meet in person or chat online with others having the same problems. I'll hazard a guess there's thousands of people in your country with similar symptoms who know what you're going through, have tried different things first hand, and can give much better advice than someone like me who's only really guessing. 

People who understand your situation will be less judgemental and easier to be friends with, you may even be able to get some peer mentoring, if you don't want to try therapy again. 

Edited by snowyowl

Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion.  :) 

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Posted (edited)

@Alysssa@eaaaeaeae @snowyowl Okay, thanks.

Well, this weekend has so far been better than usual. I even managed to do some cleaning.

And I read "Perfect brilliant stillness" by David Carse.

User reviews here: https://www.amazon.com/Perfect-Brilliant-Stillness-David-Carse/dp/0976578301

Officially available for free here because it's not copyrighted (good move. It gives it more credibility. Smaller risk that he's lying to get money.): https://www.perfectbrilliantstillness.org/book/

The stuff he say is radical, and I can't relate to the stuff at all, he even say "it's not difficult". So it's difficult to believe in what he's saying. Maybe it's just a rare mental delusion. I don't know.

Edited by Blackhawk

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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Posted (edited)

@Blackhawk I love the first couple of lines of the fine print in 'Perfect Brilliant Stillness': 

Quote

There are many books out there that will help you to live a better life, become a better person, and evolve and grow to realize your full potential as a spiritual being.

This is not one of them.

I like it already xD

Edited by RickyFitts

'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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28 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

@Blackhawk I love the first couple of lines of the fine print in 'Perfect Brilliant Stillness': 

I like it already xD

Yep 😛


"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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32 minutes ago, RickyFitts said:

@Blackhawk I love the first couple of lines of the fine print in 'Perfect Brilliant Stillness': 

I like it already xD

And also this made me desperately want to read the book:

"In addition, if you do find yourself interested, and are able to see past the words to understand at least some of what they point to, you are likely to find it quite disturbing. Few people buy books on spirituality to be deeply disturbed, so consider yourself forewarned.

And finally, if you read it anyway, and what is hinted at here resonates and is by some remote chance followed to its end, then that will likely also be the end of you. So again, a warning. With any luck, you will not come back from this with a life you can call your own; you will not come back at all."


"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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@Blackhawk I'll be honest, that bit made me a tad apprehensive :oxD


'When you look outside yourself for something to make you feel complete, you never get to know the fullness of your essential nature.' - Amoda Maa Jeevan

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Posted (edited)

1 hour ago, RickyFitts said:

@Blackhawk I'll be honest, that bit made me a tad apprehensive :oxD

Yeah I'm scared when I read it, but as you can see from this thread: I don't have anything to lose.

This book really feels like the real deal..

Edited by Blackhawk

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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Posted (edited)

My fucking God..

It feels like something is about to happen..

Damn fear. The wall of fear is so strong.

Edit: nothing happened this time, I'll go to bed.

Edited by Blackhawk

"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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Posted (edited)

Fear is sometimes just suppressed excitement, holding itself in.

The ego clings to its comfort blanket while other possibilities beckon ...

Letting go of 'I can't' or 'what if I get it wrong' allows us to dive in and flow along the river of life. Fear is washed away.

Good luck @Blackhawk  you can do this.   :x

Edited by snowyowl

Relax, it's just my loosely held opinion.  :) 

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@snowyowl Thank you.


"Never underestimate the power of human stupidity."   — Robert A. Heinlein

"I'm allergic to stupidity."   — Chris Colfer

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