Endangered-EGO

I dont want to realise God anymore.

47 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

This place borders on cultish tendencies with its empty platitudes. Makes one wonder what the intention is behind it all.

Edited by Megan Alecia
At least with someone like Noam Chomsky-- he's transparent about fighting for the poor, devoid of bullshit and outlines his points in a rather succinct way.

"We are like the spider. We weave our life and then move along in it. We are like the dreamer who dreams and then lives in the dream. This is true for the entire universe."

-- The Upanishads

Encyclopedia

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Posted (edited)

@Endangered-EGO The way I see it, there's no pressure or need to do anything specific at all, including spiritual awakening. There's just living life, and that's that. Maybe just enjoy it. There is no imperative or need to pursue awakening.

Languages like Buddhism and Non-Duality become naught but outer garments and dressings. The garnishings become nothing, toppling over to the lightest of winds. A gentle breeze with the right geometry is all it takes for an unwinding and spiral into madness. 

For example, I suffer heavily. In this present moment I have intense feelings. What I mostly care about is the resolving is that. I have the tendency to ask " Why am I being punished?". And obviously that sort of thinking doesn't do anyone favours. Whatever the case. When you're suffering a lot, nothing else matters. 

What comes to matter is just feeling okay and feeling normal, and not needing anything else. 
_ _ _ 
But that isn't the complete truth I suppose, and isn't the complete truth for you either perhaps. For example. The past several weeks, my mind has been highly active and struggling as lots of things come up for me in my shadow and mental illness. With my shadow and personality generally mutating/changing. 

I reached a turning point of too much stress that I decided to stop straining myself. Stop straining my efforts for exploring shadow and authenticity, or spirituality. 

I relaxed my mind. In turn, I came to feel a bit more happier and positive, it gave me a less contracted perspective. It made me slightly more refreshed, I became more loving , kind and simple. I felt more like my younger, more happy go lucky self. 

BUT IT DOESN'T FEEL RIGHT TO DO THAT. I CAN'T JUST TURN AWAY. 

But. Perhaps I need to learn from this. I can't do the exact same hardcore approach on my mind and not expect to get burned. But neither can I turn away from the battlefield, my dissatisfaction with mediocre and my ambition are too much, and in some sense they are inseparable. 

Perhaps it's a balancing act, I haven't quite learned how to integrate the love/gentleness. And what's been blocking me from doing so is an extremely large pride and ego which I haven't harnessed wisely. 


And so one tug of war in my mind a lot is between "pride" and "relaxation". I can only pray, live optimistically. Maybe resolution will come

Edited by lmfao

Hark ye yet again — the little lower layer. All visible objects, man, are but as pasteboard masks. But in each event — in the living act, the undoubted deed — there, some unknown but still reasoning thing puts forth the mouldings of its features from behind the unreasoning mask. If man will strike, strike through the mask! How can the prisoner reach outside except by thrusting through the wall? To me, the white whale is that wall, shoved near to me. Sometimes I think there's naught beyond. But 'tis enough

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What the actual fuck is existence

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"Everything you do in life is to avoid the Nothing/Everything that you are" - Jed Mckenna heheheh


 

 

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On 18/05/2021 at 6:51 PM, Nahm said:

@Endangered-EGO

I don’t mean let go in an ability /something one is able to do sense, I mean the opposite. When you let that go too, do you experience contentment? (I’m not asking about peace, but about contentment)

Yes, that's actually one type of "meditation" I enjoy doing. Like sitting, or laying on my back and not caring about anything, once I reach that state of being, I actually feel what you could call contentment, without reaching profound meditative states.

@Tim Ho The heaven awakening I had is not really a metaphysical truth, but more like a change in perspective + no-ego state. Not as incredible as Kundalini bliss or nothingness. Let's hope My head will show itself to me ;) 
I also stopped torturing myself with SDS meditation, cold water showers etc, because I have a notion, that spirituality is a path made out of suffering, for it to be transcended, which is a very unhealthy perspective on life. I am aware, that once I let go of strong physical pain, I enter a state of equanimity, but that's harder for sneaky stuff, and I often don't see the point of that.

@Gianna I don't only watch Leo's videos, I'm also in shinzen young's fb community, but I just love this forum too much. I am sorry you feel that way. It's really hard to remember the highs, when we are low.


 

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@Endangered-EGO Keep in mind that all your thoughts and ideas are false, by definition. look for silence, nailing yourself in the present moment. forget about the spiritual realizations of others. clear your mind, there is only the present, and you in silence. 5 meo can help you a lot. Other psychedelics, as you define your state of mind, will create loops of confusion. 5 meo sweep your mind for a moment, it can make a difference, helps you to see how your mind is working , and to see what is beyond your mind

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@Endangered-EGO 

Look like you are doing great!  The right meditation is the one you can enjoy.  


Hakuna matata

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