Gods love is emotionally crippling

[goldpower123]

I like to think that I can transcend the human being, the emotions of the human, the bondage to survival and suffering. Gods love is so good that literally after a few days or a week (when the backlash hits and I fall underneath emotion) I start eyeballing and crying just to process what I experienced. It's tiring like all I want to do is cry my eyeballs out to god and process what the heck I just experienced. But while I'm experiencing the divinity I feel emotionless, like I've transcended emotion, the human part of me. I enter into my God self and it's super empowering and beautiful like I'm in control of everything. The only way to respond is to process it by me letting it out and crying, but it's from a human level now, an emotional level. Like I need time to process and emotionalize what I fucking experienced. It's outer worldly. It's indescribably ginormous.

To realize there is nothing I can do or say that will make God not love me. I've been on this spiritual journey for around a year and I've changed so much, learning so much about myself, life and how the world works at such a young age (20) but I still do everything else in my human life that needs work too like socializing, finances, health, fitness, etc. God has transformed my heart and transformed my life for the better, as crazy as all of this stuff sounds, especially to someone who's never experienced it.

A piece of me has gone forever, a piece of my Will, my emotion. But I suffer less. There is no other path I would rather be on, I can absolutely see how this path will in the end lead to an indescribable privilege I have been seeking my entire life. I'm only at the beginning but I already feel like I'm so far away from the masses. People look at me weird for some reason but it doesn't compare to whats within. I can see the bots for what they are.

Leo you have made a huge impact on me and my life, more than my parents or family ever could. I'm so grateful that I have the opportunity to pursue this and experience this, and how for most of my life I have suffered the trap of society not knowing the answers, feeling lost and not fitting in, why the world is the way it is. Deep down I always knew something was wrong. I'm finally beginning to escape this prison. I've got answers to so many things from within, and your videos helped me through a lot of things.

It feels good to vent this out and to have someone else read this.

 

 

[Heart of Space]

Amen.

[Bazooka Jesus]

15 hours ago, goldpower123 said:

It feels good to vent this out and to have someone else read this.

Pssssssst, here's the little secret... there is actually noone else around to read this!!

Anyway, I am super happy for you. Yes, the path can be tough at times and comes with many unexpected ups and downs; at times you may even think that you are totally loosing your mind (which, in a way, you do)! But the reward is far greater than any material prize that the world might dangle in front of your nose in order to keep you stuck inside the Matrix. Heck, it is infinitely greater than you yourself could ever dare to imagine when you are just starting out on your journey towards Truth.

Stay strong and enjoy the ride, my friend! ❤️❤️❤️

Edited February 9, 2021 by Bazooka Jesus

[cetus]

@goldpower123 Have you thought about starting a personal journal to document your progress? I'd be interesting to look back on over time.

[Nahm]

@cetus

You sir are hilarious. Apparently. 

[cetus]

@Nahm  That's time with a capital "T". 

[Nahm]

@cetus

You’re Killing me. 

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