Something casual

[Gesundheit2]

More memories...

[Gesundheit2]

Depression, neurosis, OCD, anxiety, delusions, mania, you name it.

How did I get rid of them? Lol.

[Gesundheit2]

I hate the cold, dude. I fucking do. I'm okay with it, but okay is not good enough. I'm not okay with being okay. Okay is for losers and incapables.

This is the probably 8th winter we have to endure the cold without a heater or anything like that. It's ridiculous, but it is the case for many Syrians. I feel paralyzed, like I should enter some hibernation state like some bears do. I will make this dream come true haha.

The only people who are still in Syria are the deluded, the evil, the weak, the incapables, the retarded, the disabled, the incompetent, the poor, and the ones who are hoping and actively trying to get out asap like myself.

Edited January 21, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

The whole week is officially off due to poor weather. To me, it's technically more like a week off from distraction and useless nonsense at med school.

Awesome! That should give me a boost and increase my progress on my more important goals.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

I remember the first time I watched porn. It was at work, and I was around 12-13 years old. There were a couple of videos, one was called "the sweetest bath", and the other "wedding night", both roughly translated from Arabic.

Exciting story, for sure. Something you don't read about everyday. I'll add more details later... But now, off to sleep.

Edited January 26, 2022 by Gesundheit2
or maybe not, you're not worthy

[Gesundheit2]

 

 

[Gesundheit2]

Taking life seriously or not so seriously is an irrelevant inquiry. Life is to be taken correctly.

The opposite of knowledge is opinion.

God is the real deal. All else is placebo.

It's a very good rule of thumb, perhaps even the best, to assume that all humans are crazy and mentally ill. Life is a lot easier that way.

Edited January 30, 2022 by Gesundheit2

[Gesundheit2]

A_(75)_20210213_1136_20-338.mp3

[Gesundheit2]

Death is inescapable and all-encapsulating. We can only fight it and postpone it, but never kill it. It's already death.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

[Gesundheit2]

Nobody gives a fuck about you. You're all alone.

[Gesundheit2]

There is no hope. It's bleak. And it will end terribly for you.

Don't listen to your positive thoughts. They're lying to you.

[Gesundheit2]

Life is a bitch. You're cursed, and unlucky.

Don't get over it. There's no "over it". There's only "under it", and it's only worse.

No resolution. Only dissolution.

How many times have you tried and failed? Well, why would this time be any different?

The playing field is as skewed against you as much as it ever could. What are the odds?

Clarity won't save you. You will only suffer in HD.

[Gesundheit2]

I absolutely hate sickness. Three days in bed, and still no recovery.

Watching Jordan Peterson and listening to his delusions. It doesn't help at all.

[Gesundheit2]

Muslims are unknowingly trying so hard to fit in the modern world. They're bending over backwards to adapt to mainstream trending values such as human rights and freedom of speech, even though Islam is about exactly the opposite. If you want the real Islam, it's Salafism. Salafism basically means following the footprints of your ancestors, after filtering out the "bad guys".

This debate is a two against one debate. The guy in the middle of the thumbnail is on his own against the other two who even though come from different schools and countries, still share the same perspective. Islam is not a scholar, and he believes that the historical baggage of religion should be dropped because it contradicts basic human rights, etc. That's not his main argument, though. He presents his arguments in a very scientific manner and provides examples and proofs. He's still a Muslim, but he's the one who cracked the code for me back then.

The other two guys are trying hard to sugarcoat the bloody nature of Islam, while claiming that it's a peaceful and humanitarian religion, which is completely false. Get over yourselves. Muhammad was not a hippy. He would actually spit on you and chop your heads off for heresy rather than accept you as you are and understand the difference in opinions.

One thing Islam got right are the punishments, in particular the theft law. You steal, we chop your hand off. Steal again, and the next hand follows. Modern theft laws are stupid because they are not very serious. You steal, and you get away with it for a little punishment. They don't chop off your hand, and that's just stupid because it enables theft, and already modern society enables theft (which is essentially what inequality means). But on a more elevated level, you have to ask, who's benefiting from this? I mean, why don't they chop off hands anymore? They say because it's inhumane, and tto that I say BOLLOCKS! It's actually because that would hurt capitalism and the rich, and ultimately the nation against other nations, but I'm not going to get into that here. I just know for sure that the bigger heads don't give a fuck about humanity, or the environment or any of the modern trending issues as they claim. The reality is that everything is economically/politically-driven, and if something is advertised as important, it's because it affects the wealth or power of the bigger heads. I pity the fools who believe in such causes, because they're not any less delusional than a religious person, and yet somehow they convinced themselves to think that they are. If you're vegan (or any subtype of that), you're stupid unconscious and full of shit, basically just a tool for the bigger heads, and I mean tool technically but also metaphorically. Same thing if you're against veganism, you're still a tool. Society has become way too idiotic because of the abstraction of power.

[Gesundheit2]

I keep seeing her in my dreams. My uncle's wife. Sexual dreams, but not so explicit. We flirted and kissed but haven't fucked yet.

I saw her three times so far, but not consequently. There have been time gaps.

We actually live in the same building, but I don't daydream about her. I literally don't think about her at all, but now I might.

This is crazy.

[Gesundheit2]

 

[Gesundheit2]

So, my sister relapsed recently. We talked to her psychiatrist, he said we need to increase the doses, or change the anti-psychotic to something from the second generation (while risking having new side effects like weight gain). Nothing I wouldn't expect from a traditional materialistic douche bag, to be honest. I've been telling my parents to stop the medications from the very first week, but they kept refusing and preferred to stick with the doctor's plan. They're very afraid and don't understand. The doctor just doesn't understand.

Haloperidol causes tremors and other side effects, and my sister is especially sensitive to hand tremors because she's a dentist and for her that means no more work. So when the drug took full effect, the tremor got maximal, and she got paranoid and delusional again. The doctor prescribed Procyclidin from the beginning to nullify the tremor, but apparently it didn't work. He said we should increase the doses, of both drugs. But he's crazy. I say we should stop the medication altogether.

Finally my parents agreed to my plan after weeks of rejection. We stopped Haloperidol two days ago, and she started improving. All she needs is rest, and good company. I know how to treat mental illnesses cuz I treated myself from a bunch. The first thing you need to do is to isolate the cause of the illness and remove it from your life, at least temporarily for whatever time you need. In the case of psychosis, it's the stress and overthinking that cause the paranoia and hallucinations. Where do they come from? Mainly from work and her programmed thoughts. My parents thought it's okay if she went back to work immediately, even though I warned them that it was still premature. Now they see. So, no more work/stress for her until she's ready, and in the meantime I will be working on improving her thoughts, maybe I'll teach her meditation too. Nature is also important, so I'll make her go out with mom in the spring. Drugs are not always necessary, and in our case they have been harmful even. But that's essentially what healing mental illnesses takes in a nutshell, the rest is a matter of time.

The rule here with mental health is, extract the pathology from its roots, cut off its supplies, and create new healthy ways of thinking and modes of being. The thing with drugs is that they suppress the real issue without ever addressing it, and they have a lot of side effects, which by time will create more issues than they will solve. There is no need for drugs because there is no real illness to begin with. Everyone has a certain capacity and sensitivity to stress. And at some point, anyone will break. Basically just know your limits, and you will be fine.

Edited February 9, 2022 by Gesundheit2