How to know if you're bypassing your emotions?

[Farnaby]

Hi everyone!

I've recently read the book "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer and I really liked his down to earth approach to Mindfulness. 

I've been practicing noticing whenever something triggers me, relaxling and allowing it instead of distracting myself or acting out on it. As soon as I do this, in a few minutes I'm calm and feel more open, with more energy and less shut-down. 

However, I'm worried if this may be a form of bypassing what I'm feeling when I'm triggered because it's like gently going against my impulse (for example shutting-down or getting into a verbal fight). 

It would be nice to hear your experiences and what you think of this

 

 

[An young being]

18 minutes ago, Farnaby said:

Hi everyone!

I've recently read the book "The Untethered Soul" by Michael Singer and I really liked his down to earth approach to Mindfulness. 

I've been practicing noticing whenever something triggers me, relaxling and allowing it instead of distracting myself or acting out on it. As soon as I do this, in a few minutes I'm calm and feel more open, with more energy and less shut-down. 

However, I'm worried if this may be a form of bypassing what I'm feeling when I'm triggered because it's like gently going against my impulse (for example shutting-down or getting into a verbal fight). 

It would be nice to hear your experiences and what you think of this

 

 

Meditate more and more. Your impulse is your survival instinct which is not necessary right now. Don't allow the emotions to build up inside you. Instead meditate and let go of the unnecessary emotions like anger hated etc. Don't react and expect and you will be rewarded with peace.

[Nahm]

1 hour ago, Farnaby said:

I've been practicing noticing whenever something triggers me, relaxling and allowing it instead of distracting myself or acting out on it. As soon as I do this, in a few minutes I'm calm and feel more open, with more energy and less shut-down. 

You’re probably feeling/noticing how much you were bypassing emotions, and were being reactive / impulsive. Doesn’t sound like you are bypassing to me, sounds like the opposite.

[Farnaby]

2 hours ago, An young being said:

Meditate more and more. Your impulse is your survival instinct which is not necessary right now. Don't allow the emotions to build up inside you. Instead meditate and let go of the unnecessary emotions like anger hated etc. Don't react and expect and you will be rewarded with peace.

Thank you! That's what I'm practicing. I usually don't "explode" when I'm angry, but I sometimes act passive aggressively or repress my anger but feel shut-down and disconnected towards people who I feel have hurt me. 

Now, with this kind of mindfulness, it usually is quite easy to let go and not hold any grudges. That's why I was concerned I may be bypassing the emotions. 

1 hour ago, Nahm said:

You’re probably feeling/noticing how much you were bypassing emotions, and were being reactive / impulsive. Doesn’t sound like you are bypassing to me, sounds like the opposite.

Yep, that's likely it, thank you! 

I think being a psychologist has conditioned me to believe one needs to express anger so it doesn't build up.

Seeing how I don't really need to express it but just allow myself to process it and let go of it I second-guess myself thinking "this is just another form of repressing your feelings. If you do this you will allow people to treat you badly, etc.". 

Probably just an ego backlash lol

[Nahm]

@Farnaby

Beautiful. ?

This Equanimity Meditation came to mind. Great for exactly what you’re talking about.

[Farnaby]

19 hours ago, Nahm said:

@Farnaby

Beautiful. ?

This Equanimity Meditation came to mind. Great for exactly what you’re talking about.

Thanks for sharing!

[Haumea2018]

You're a psychologist, so I'm going to tell you stuff you already know. 

There's a trigger, but what follows isn't necessarily the genuine expression of a negative emotion but possibly some unhealthy coping mechanism which distracts you from fully experiencing it.  So what's the emotion that you're experiencing: pain, anger, sadness? Perhaps it's loneliness or just something physiological like hunger or thirst?

So if you experience that emotion you will feel it, stay with it, allow it to process, and processing it calms you.

Otherwise it's just papering it over with something. It stays trapped.

 

Edited December 14, 2020 by Haumea2018

[lmfao]

On 13/12/2020 at 0:57 PM, Farnaby said:

I've been practicing noticing whenever something triggers me, relaxling and allowing it instead of distracting myself or acting out on it. As soon as I do this, in a few minutes I'm calm and feel more open, with more energy and less shut-down. 

However, I'm worried if this may be a form of bypassing what I'm feeling when I'm triggered because it's like gently going against my impulse (for example shutting-down or getting into a verbal fight). 

It is indeed a tightrope to walk. Suppression vs letting go. 

Bear in mind your worry might be a trick your ego is playing to stop itself from being dissolved. So be very careful of that.

Your ego probably feels guilt or shame about not suffering enough. It's the guilt a self actualizer feels about becoming less attached to the toxic patterns of the people around them. 

I'm not you so I can't judge what's the case. 

--

This using of spirituality could be a problem for someone if they use it to deny their own needs. Maybe they transcend it all together, but sometimes the attempt to transcend is done dishonestly. The dishonesty being lying how you feel or denying how you feel.