Strange observation: My fear of the dark turned into a fear of going blind

[FortisFortunaAdiuvat]

At about 8 years of age, I had a scary experience that led to me having a strong fear of the dark.

During a stormy night, we had a power failure. I somehow woke up and tried to turn on the light to go to the toilet or something like that. Nothing happened so I made my way to the bathroom, everything was pitch black and I started to panic and scream "I am blind!".

What's interesting to me is that I remember screaming specifically about blindness. Shouldn't a fear of going blind have developed rather than a strong fear of the dark? I never really thought about this detail until last week when I realized I am no longer afraid of the dark but have a fear of going blind instead.

Maybe going blind was too abstract for me at the time so it just made my already existing primal fear of the dark worse. Or could it be possible that my fear of going blind has been there all the time but I never noticed it because it was so subtle? Please share your thoughts.

[Matt23]

 

Is there anything deeper that the fear could represent?  Like, what is the more generalized, abstract, or "meta" fear/feeling/experience that's associated with blindness?  Perhaps vulnerability, being exposed, being alone? Is it associated with others somehow?  Is there a fear of not knowing or being ignorant involved?  Perhaps a loss of control?  Was there any experiences growing up that could be associated with it?  

  It might not represent anything deeper, but simply as an exploratory exercise.

 

[Carl-Richard]

Sounds like PTSD.

[FortisFortunaAdiuvat]

@Matt23 Thanks for posting this, it was interesting to think about it. The first thing that comes to mind when I think about blindness is a complete loss of control and a feeling of helplessness. I experienced exactly that in my childhood (bullying) on a daily basis. While I associate both blindness and bullying with a similar emotional reaction, I don't think there's more to it than just that or at least I don't see it.

[electroBeam]

@FortisFortunaAdiuvat woah thats an awesome insight you discovered! Thanks for sharing!

[Matt23]

@FortisFortunaAdiuvat Nice.  I think the mind (and body connection) can be highly symbolic sometimes.  Like a person who has issues with taking on others' problems might walk around with a hunched back or something, like they're carrying a large load.  On the other hand, "A cigar might just be a cigar".  

I dunno what you're looking for, but involving the body and feeling the sensations/feelings in your body that are associated with the fear can sometimes help explore and unlock things (i.e., mindfulness).  Sometimes if I can't identify a particular feeling (it can even be what I thought was a physical sensation, but turn out to have an emotional basis), I'll put my awareness on the feeling and then let my imagination come up with an image/person that represents that feeling.  This enables me to communicate and understand it better.   But just feeling the feeling can be helpful too.