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Patrick_9931

Did i experience God?

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So in my last lsd trip i  finally experienced my first ego death , at least i think it was.

( Before you start reading .... sorry for my bad english,  i'm trying to improve it :$ , i hope you will undestand anyways)

When the acid peaked in i was lying in my bed in a dark room with some meditation music playing. I relaxed myself and let go. What i've experienced on the other side of letting go is very difficult to explain in concepts. I was experiencing  a sense of infinity + love + some fear due to my ego not completely dissolving i guess. I interpreted this infinity as the Christian god. I suddently felt like i understood the Genesis that i read the day before in the bible ( it was the first time i was reading the bible just for the sake of curiosity , i'm not a follower of any particular religion). 

So i felt like understanding the Christian god , i felt the love , the omiscence and the infinity trough wich the Christian god is described. I felt like all the description used in bible and in other spiritual traditions where nothing but methapores to describe the infinity that i felt that day. Also at a certain point of the trip i was experiencing this two energies that was comunicating toghether in this infinite field of emptiness, it seemed like it was god comunicating with itself. There was nothing but this two energies comunicating in a non verbal way.

In the middle of the experence i get up excited and wrote down my insights on a piece of paper for fear of fogetting them. i wrote the following sentences: 

" There is like a superior force that is guiding all of us" , " It's like the human species is a unique mind with the same sufferings and the same problems" , " It's like in the most intimate parts of ourself we are all connected to eachother" " It all boils donw in how much you can incarnate that "light" that i've experienced"

 

After the experience i felt like understanding why San Francesco and people of this kind dedicated their lives to love on to helping poor people. I felt like they had the same experience and understood that the only way for ending suffering was to manifest God trough inconditionate love on this earth.

In the next days i've experienced a massive ego backlash that i'm still experiencing.

 

So what do you think about this experience? Do you think it's a good start? Do you think i should continue with psychedelics or that now i should just do sober practice to enlightment?   I ask you that because this experiences are very hard to deal with the days  after due to the ego backlash . Also my fear is that I become nihilistic and I lose all the interest in the ordinary reality and that I become a sort of “non dual addict “.

Thank you for all your responses :)

Edited by Patrick_9931

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I've had pretty much the exact same experience my last LSD trip about 2 weeks ago, just like you, I could barely believe it, despite just how real it felt.

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@Patrick_9931 Although I haven't gone that deep to experience ego death yet, I have used psychedelics on a weekly basis for a month or two back in December. 

I noticed that taking it that frequently, wasn't actually growing me but making me more judgmental and nihilistic. I think it's better to spend most of your time doing the work in ordinary life and take psychedelics when you think it is appropriate.    

By the way how much did you guys take to experience ego death? 

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@Patrick_9931

Awesome! Great start for sure. 

4 hours ago, Patrick_9931 said:

So what do you think about this experience? Do you think it's a good start? Do you think i should continue with psychedelics or that now i should just do sober practice to enlightment?   I ask you that because this experiences are very hard to deal with the days  after due to the ego backlash . Also my fear is that I become nihilistic and I lose all the interest in the ordinary reality and that I become a sort of “non dual addict “.

 

I’d surrender all of that to that superior force guiding us. Seriously. Just as soon as it bubbles up in thought, surrender it to the higher self.


My Website: ActualityOfBeing.com Meditations, helpful tools, and private online sessions for spiritual guidance, awakening, and creating the life you dream of. 

My Youtube Channel: Actuality Of Being Insights, exercises & guidance into the actuality of being and creating your own reality. 

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