Can Social/Belonging Needs Ever be Fully Met

[australia1]

Watching stage purple video had me thinking about social and belonging needs. To me it always seems like something that you can never really have enough of - even though in my life I've got plenty of friends and family and all that. This could be a personal thing though, but was curious if anyone else felt a bit insatiable when it comes to feelings of belonging. 

In anyone else's experience, are strong social needs something you eventually get over/transcend, or can they actually just be fulfilled? 

[soos_mite_ah]

I don't know about transcending but they can definitely be met fully. The extent in which that need is there often depends on individual factors such as personality, upbringing, attachment styles etc. 

I feel that if you are extremely extroverted, were brought up in an environment where you never learned to be by yourself (i.e. many siblings etc), or have an insecure attachment style, you're more likely to have high social needs and feel like they will never be met. This can especially be the case if high social needs are due to neurotic reasons such as an insecure attachment style or any other trauma that makes you yearn for attention all the time. 

Personally, I grew up the opposite. I am rather introverted and can go a long time without human interaction. I was raised as an only child so I had to be emotionally independent from a young age. I also really like meditating and being alone with my thoughts. I don't have huge social needs but those are usually met by having a couple of friends, talking to people at work/school, and forums that have to do with my interests such as this one. I don't yearn for anything more usually when a lot of these are met so it's not like a bottomless pit.  

There was a point in time where my social needs were like a bottomless pit due to things like trauma and not having my needs validated in childhood but I have since worked through a lot of those things through both therapy as well as my own independent self development. 

[Artsu]

The thing is other people fulfill many of our needs not just out belonging needs. Belonging is more of a youth thing but there are human needs associated with green and the oneness of coral, and it probably keeps going. We always desire company from what I understand.

[universe]

Right on. If you want to be free of this need there are two ways that I know of

• Releasing the fear behind that need with emotional work
• Enlightenment/Spiritual work

Combine those and you can be free of needing anyone else. You can still enjoy social belonging. But you will be fine without as well.

[Johnny5]

Can confirm.... Neediness is insatiable by its very nature.

The only remedy to psychological dependence is psychological independence.

That said, neediness may need to be met to a certain healthy level before it can be let go of. It is a natural part of childhood development, it's just not natural to remain stuck with it into adulthood the way so many people do.

In other words the child inside needs to be loved first before it stops needing love.

Edited August 17, 2020 by Johnny5

[Brittany]

19 hours ago, Johnny5 said:

Neediness is insatiable by its very nature

This.

It is a bottomless pit.

You can meet someone who soothes the ache but if they leave you or die, the hunger will come back.

There is nothing wrong with meeting people who soothe the ache. 

But using loved ones, partners, family, friends, etc. to soothe your ache is like covering a thorn.

Finding out why you are aching in the first place, is pulling out the thorn. This path is not widely traveled. 

Edited August 18, 2020 by Brittany

[Espaim]

Can you ever meet your eating needs?