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How can I be consistent?

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Hello everybody,

You may know it, you have discovered something nice like a new habit and are working hard on it. But after a while you stop, you slide back. I think most people recognize this, to a greater or lesser extent

I unfortunately recognize it very much, I have a very big problem with being consistent. I am very inconsistent.

For example: I am starting a new morning routine. At first I like it and enjoy it but then the motivation gradually disappears. and at a moment I quit due to circumstances. Let's say I did it for a month. And after quitting I haven't done it for a whole month. But because it was good for me, I want to do it again. So then I try again, but I can't manage to keep it up. Maybe even now for 2 weeks and I won't try again in 2 months. And then I might try something else (a new habit for example) and the same thing happens but with something else, I can't manage to keep it up.

This is very problematic, I can hardly make any progress in this way. I hate that I'm so inconsistent and just doing something (without much success). 

I know this is part of life but I think it is disproportionate to me. I'm getting nowhere with all the sliding back.

What I don't think helps is my motivation. I am a person who has a lot of doubts, so when I start something / am working on something I can think: this is good for me, I have to keep doing this. But because of setbacks in my life, I get more doubts and I ask myself questions such as what is the point of doing this? Why don't I just stop when it is so difficult and yet hardly makes sense. But at the same time I know that it is good for me and does make sense. And yet later on there are thoughts like: life has no meaning so why should this make sense and am I not just going to relax in my comfort zone?

The thing is, i'm very aware that it's good for me and I need it. But still I let the doubt win and am very inconsistent because of that. 

I want to break through this inconsistency and have a happy and productive life with discipline, but how?

My question is: how can I make sure I stay consistent and have less doubts? And if I slide back for a moment, how can I get back to work as quickly as possible and be consistent?

Sub-questions:

  • Is it wise to build up something with mini steps?
  • Or is it smart to go big, make a big change and commit yourself to it?
  • What tools / resources are useful in the area of this problem?
  • Do you ever suffer from inconsistency in habits? If so, how bad does it bother you, what is the cause and how do you deal with it/what helpes you?

This is a tricky and annoying problem that not only me, but probably many people have to deal with. That is why I would like to hear your experiences, ideas and possible solutions about this. :)

I am curious and looking forward to your reactions, thanks in advance! :D

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What has helped me in being more consistent is first realizing that I am consistent...I am very consistent in being not consistent. lol. But I enjoy change and doing things in a more random way. I never brush my teeth the same time each day, but every day I brush my teeth.  That is good enough for me.  Too much routine is very BORING.  With things that are not time sensitive, such as: appointments, job, and school,  I just make a list of the things  I want to accomplish in my day and I don’t worry about how or when I am going do them. I seem to randomly find a way to get what is most important done.

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Yeah life can be very difficult without a belief system to rely on.


If you have no confidence in yourself, you are twice defeated in the race of life. But with confidence you have won, even before you start.” -- Marcus Garvey

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@Pugfishpanda Thank you for your reply! 

7 hours ago, Pugfishpanda said:

What has helped me in being more consistent is first realizing that I am consistent...I am very consistent in being not consistent. lol. 

Hahaha yes then I am also very consistent xD 

@Gesundheit It is indeed difficult without a belief system. Sometimes I wish I had a belief system, that would probably make my life a lot easier.

@Cykaaaa Thank you! Yes the why is crucial. the problem is I don't have a clear why at this point. I did the life purpose course from Leo, which is a fantastic tool and gave me a lot of insights, but I don't have a clear vision yet.

 

6 hours ago, Cykaaaa said:

You gotta work and work, get back from the ground and recall what you're really trying to achieve here and everything will be alright :)

Yeah, fall down 7 times, stand up 8. ??

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A part from the book 'Healing and Evolving the Emotional Body' on habits:

All the habits and appetites that man has had and enjoyed, for the most part, have been judged against as harmful to Spiritual development. Lists of things to avoid have included alcohol, sugar, red meat, drugs, caffeine, marijuana, tobacco, sex and extremes of any kind. The understanding is needed that the problem is not the substances themselves but the habit patterns and the extremes often associated with these substances. The substances have been thought to be causal, but it is consciousness that is causal and nothing else. For example, eating meat, especially red meat, has long been thought to make men too dense to receive Spiritual illumination and yet it is not causal here. The desire to eat meat has accompanied the consciousness needing it. Nourishment must match the vibration of the consciousness taking it in. All habits drop away when the consciousness is released from the need for them. In not understanding what was causal here, many have tried to break out of habits, giving up meat for example, by using discipline and control. This approach only causes the pattern of habit to change its form. The reason for the habit pattern needs to be found, and then accepted and understood, not condemned and disciplined away.

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