How do you deal with this?

[Oliver Saavedra]

How do you deal with people when you want to focus on yourself, on doing your inner work and your creative work? 

How do you deal with not leaving everyone behind while trying to self-actualize? 

You kind of have to go solo to focus on yourself, and people dislike when you leave for too long, or when you just don't really feel like talking. And I find people want to be texting, calling, or hanging out constantly, but I really just want to be left alone to do my thing. 

I'd like to know, how do you deal with this?

How do you balance between being alone and staying connected with people? 

[Preety_India]

 

It's best to be open and honest with them and tell them upfront that you don't have time. 

If they stick around, they are worthy of your companionship long term. 

If they bicker and complain and don't give you the freedom to be yourself, then they better not be in your life. 

People can only go so long with you. At some point, you have to be yourself. 

Time is a precious commodity and you can't waste it dealing with the madness of society. 

True friends always stick together and don't need any explanation. 

In some ways your life is a test of people's endurance in friendships.. 

It's a litmus test of who will stand up for you and who will leave you for selfish reasons. 

Keep yourself free of judgement and practice your inner work and don't mind people. 

Those who mind you don't matter and those who matter don't mind. 

 

[Elton]

@Oliver Saavedra you got to balance between people and doing your act, you probably already know that as it is your question no. 3 ..

List out the most important people in your life. Set aside some time for social interaction daily, everyday you could ' connect with one of the person of the list ' you can decide the amount of time you are able to give even if it's 15 min a day if you continue to make connections it will have a huge impact over time, focus on the quality of time over quantity.. maybe you can give more time on some days and less time on another days, see what suits you the most.

As per the book big leap this is a hidden barrier Outshining my siblings I'm assuming it is yours too in your second question(Outshining everyone). 

Work on this barrier and notice the attitude of millionaires since they are in the top 1 percent they have outshone the remaining 99 %.

Edited May 20, 2020 by Elton

[egoeimai]

@Oliver Saavedra You can't have everything. Some people won't accept it you should be fine with everything they choose with their lives because you chose yours too 

Edited May 20, 2020 by egoeimai

[Oliver Saavedra]

Thanks a lot for your grat advice! @Preety_India @Elton @egoeimai ?

I'm definitely working on my allowing myself to be vulnerable and having the important awkward talks that define relationships.

I feel I have to define more clearly what kind of relationship I want with each person, so then I can dialogue, make boundaries and agreements so everyone knows its place, me included.

The problem I find is when someone wants you closer to them but you don't want them SO close, there we have to find a point we're both comfortable.

Also unconditional Love is key, also patience to those who can't love unconditionally.

Easier said than done haha

Love to all ☼♡

[Preety_India]

 

@Oliver Saavedra

You're welcome. 

 

 

[LfcCharlie4]

@Oliver Saavedra Yep, can be very tough, I faced this when spending less time with some of my closest friends as I no longer/ hardly smoke weed anymore, and they still do everyday.

As much as I loved getting high, it’s damaging for health, impacted my energy the next day and over time I just lost interest in it, sure at weekends of the opportunity arises I’ll happily smoke, but as a regular habit it didn’t fit me, so I just said I’m not going to be smoking as much anymore but of course I still want to be close mates etc, and I still see them when we watch sport together or in other situations, and I’m still close friends, I just accept I won’t be as close as you obviously see them much less. 
 

You can still enjoy things when actualising though, let’s say you work in the day, no distractions and you make that clear to people, you can spend time with them at weekends or weeknights doing hobbies and activities you enjoy, it doesn’t always have to be 24/7 work and growth, just find a balance tbat works for you