Major confusion with self enquiry? Inconsistent teachings?

[Aaron p]

Ok when I first watched Leo's video "how to do self enquiry" to me it was very simple...leo said that you have to "look for yourself". 

"Am I the face, am I the heart, am I the images in the imagination."

"Where am i?" 

These are the kinds of questions included in Leo's practical guide to enlightenment. He said that self enquiry is not like a meditation.

I did this for around a year. Sat down, tried to locate myself. I would imagine my leg and ask "is this me" and then imagine it being removed and say "no this cannot be me". And this is how I did self enquiry. Very rigid, very active.

But then someone told me I've been doing it wrong this whole time. One of the moderators on the site here told me "it's not about asking yourself what you are over and over again...it's about being quiet and when a thought arises, only then ask who is perceiving it. Someone else told me that I "shouldnt ask the question 'what am I'."

Then, someone showed me a video with a guided meditation where she keeps saying "identify a characteristic of your observer...now, who is the one who observes this? Focus on this new observer. Then who is observing this? Focus on this second new observer." But to me it just feels like it's just me there, one observer, staring into darkness trying to see these other observers?

Really confused. Don't understand all the mixed messages, should I sit in silence and wait for a thought? Should I actively seek out what I am with thoughts? Should I focus on these "observers" (that I'm pretty sure I'm just imagining anyway)? At one point someone actually told me that I shouldn't even be looking for myself in self enquiry at all. So....I really need some clarity up in this hoe 

Someone tell me what I'm supposed to do. After the moderator told me not to repeat the question "who/what/where am I" I resonated with this advice. But this contradicts Leo's video where he tells me to try really hard to locate myself.

 

??????

Edited November 27, 2019 by Aaron p

[Aaron p]

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[Inliytened1]

@Aaron p there are multiple ways to skin a cat.  For me, asking the question "what am I, really?" Is what worked.   

One has to break through the illusion of seeing themselves as this entity behind the eyes.  It is deeply ingrained in us.

[Aaron p]

Ok@Inliytened1

[erik8lrl]

@Aaron p They are all useful, but self-inquiry is focused contemplation, and the other practices you described are concentration and meditation/observation. True self-inquiry is one that gets to the root of something, meaning there should be no more questions about that thing that you can ask at the end of it. There is no right path to awakening, all path leads to the same end. From my experience, self-inquiry will naturally lead to meditation and beingness, and vice versa. Just follow your intuition and do what feels right. 

[Aaron p]

@erik8lrl intuition...yeah <3

[Petals]

@Aaron p if I remember correctly, Ramana said that with each thought arising you should ask yourself 'to whom has this thought arisen?'.

but I think first of all you should be clear about your expectations. what are you expecting to get from self-enquiry? be clear that there will NEVER be an answer to that question 'who am I?'. there will also never be an experience which will solve the question.

"Recognition has nothing to do with anything that happens." -Franklin Merrell-Wolff

 

 

Edited November 28, 2019 by Petals

[Nahm]

These arising thoughts are within my awareness. I am aware of the thoughts. One such arising thought...” I am...”

What you are asking to hear, can not be said, you are awareness of the thought “ I “.

You are awareness of the thought, “you are awareness of the thought”. 

[LfcCharlie4]

 

Inquire, then abide. 

From the man himself- https://hridaya-yoga.com/hridaya-yoga-articles/the-self-inquiry-method-of-ramana-maharshi/

I can also recommend a book I'm currently reading, but not sure if I'm allowed to, it's not on Leo's book list though.