Through the Self

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    Hi there! In this journal I share some my experiences as I go through the self-actualization process, like psychedelic experiences, nootropics, meditation, kriya yoga and in general, experiences that I may want to share as I go in my journey through the Self.

    Please feel free to comment.

    Here are the trip-reports I have written until now:


“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Journal - Through the Self

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Trip-Report - Beingness
Medicine: 25 mg of 4-HO-MET (metocin) dissolved in water.

As always, I made all the preparations and had a banana for breakfast. I then drank the metocin. I did not find to taste so disgusting as 4-AcO-DMT (at least the batch I have). I started listening to some music, but I quickly changed to Tibetan signing bowls and found that more suitable and the trip started to feel like a meditation session.

After 30 minutes I started to feel the effects. I found the come-up very soft and in general I found this psychedelic very gentle. This made me think that it could be a nice psychedelic for beginners. But then again, this maybe just my experience, so be very careful if you want to try it, this is the second time I take 4-HO-MET, the first one I did 12 mg, and it was a similar experience.

Perhaps the only thing that I did not like was that I got a huge headache during the come-down phase, about eight to nine hours after I took the psychedelic. I drank multiple cups of ginger tea during the trip, but apparently it was not enough. Next time I will try to drink more water and see how it goes.

I also found funny that with this psychedelic I found it easier to talk as to write, so I ended up recording notes instead of writing them.

After the come-up I realized that I wanted to get distracted with my mobile phone, so I put it away and also wore some earplugs. This allowed me to contemplate better and do not get so distracted.

I was in the living room where I have some plants and felt a deep connection with them. Later I felt so drawn to nature, so I went out for a hike in the forest and had a very delightful experience.

There was a moment when I felt drawn to just sit and meditate, so I did this and I started to feel very joyful and peaceful, in a higher state of Beingness. It was as if the higher Self/God was showing me how to Be. I had a lot of realizations about Being, how primordial it is, how with every new generation we forget more and more just how to Be.

I realized that I am always in this planning-mode, trying to define what am I going to do next, like in a short time-horizon that goes from minutes to a couple of years and because of this cannot Be. It is as if we are going from human beings to human doings. And something told me that it is not just because of our technological development, but that there are also deeper forces driving us in this direction.

This was like the main theme of the trip, remember how to let go and just Be, pure Isness.

Later, as I was laying on contemplating this higher order Beingess, I had this sort of Samadhi experience. This is something that I have been experiencing during some trips and also once while doing Kriya Yoga. It is like if the boundaries of my body would collapse and I feel I would merge with the Absolute, it also feels as if I would elevate out just a few centimeters out of the body.

The first time I experienced this I was very shocked and perplexed by the experience, but this time it was by far the most lasting and clear I have ever felt. They also happen by surprise. Also, during these experiences it is as I get glimpses of the Truth, but it fades away very quickly. The moment I realized I was aware of something of higher order it just disappeared, very slippery. To my surprise, the next day @Leo Gura published the video "How To Discover What's True - A Deep Inquiry" and his metaphor of the long corridor and the tail, brought the memory of these experiences.

This was a great trip, I will definitively try this psychedelics more times, so far I found it very interesting.


Edited by reves
Correct spelling errors

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Journal - Through the Self

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4-HO-MET (Metocin) - Good for Healing?

Last Saturday I had a great trip with 4-HO-MET (metocin), I have found that this psychedelic is very easy to handle at light/medium doses, with lots of potential for healing, at least for me. I will try to post a trip report in a separate thread soon, but it basically showed me how does the healing process works and I got a deeper understanding of the death and rebirth process.

It does not generates such a high headspace as LSD or psilocin (or its analogues), that is why I do not find it the best choice to contemplate on deep/epistemological themes as I have managed to get with 4-AcO-DMT or 1P-LSD. Not so confusing, mind fucking and easier to handle as psilocin, (maybe therefore it has been badly misused and misunderstood as a party drug?) It may be similar to AL-LAD (which I have not yet had the opportunity to try) in regard to LSD.

However, it has helped me:

  • Understand and solve some personal issues.
  • I have been able to tap in my personal/familiar history and understand these issues at different levels.
  • It has sort of guided me and showed me how to release the pain accumulated in the body.
  • I have also learnt how to meditate better, how to just be.
  • It has opened my hearth-chakra and made me aware and compassionate of every living being, after a huge awakening I had with LSD.
  • After a trip with metocin I feel specially drawn to be more social, and interact with people, listen to them, give and get love through physical contact.
  • At low doses, or after the peak has passed after three or four hours, I find it great to go out for a walk in nature.
Edited by reves
write a title, small corrections.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Journal - Through the Self

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On Dreaming

Before the trip with metocin on Saturday 15 of 2020, I had a very interesting experience while dreaming. I kept dreaming I just had woken-up from bed and was roaming around the house, just to realize that I was still dreaming. The very last memory of the dream before coming to this dream called life, was very vivid and lucid, I could feel no difference between that dream and the "normal" awaken state during the day.

I may have been anxious to start the preparations for the trip I was going to have the next day, but it also made me realize I cannot fully realize the difference between dreams and this dream called life. It may be very consistent, but life is still a dream.

“Be the change that you wish to see in the world.”  Journal - Through the Self

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