Hi there! This is my first post! I have been following Leo and Actualized.org for some years now, but it was until May of this year that I started a daily meditation practice that I have become more dedicated with the exercises. I am a male, 183 cm and 87 kg and I live in Europe. I am always on the sidelines, reading the forum, and some of the books that Leo recommend, watching the videos and doing the exercises as much as I can. I believe that actualized.org is awesome and am very thankful to Leo for all his contributions. I finally decided to make a post in the forum, share my experience and ask for some advice. Prior to this I only have had experience with weed, mainly for recreational purposes, there where some moments of my life where I used to smoke almost every day, but now I smoke it like every once in a while. I also made psychotherapy for around five years and help me a lot with fear, self-stem and anxiety issues. So, I wanted to try magic mushrooms and got 30 grams of Atlantis Truffles. I stored them  directly in the fridge after I got them, until I got enough time to prepare myself for the experience. Between the day I got the truffles and the first day i tried them, passed about three weeks. I stored them in a container in the fridge, the truffles came in air-sealed plastic bags. Day 1 Made all the preparations and at around 2 pm took 2 grams of truffles, noticed a taste similar to nuts. I did not get any nausea, but noticed some discomfort in the stomach during the whole day but nothing serious. After an two hours, I could notice a similar peaceful state similar to when I meditate. I could also notice that my emotions became more intense than normal and I could perceive them more vividly, all kind of mixed feelings. Then I just stayed at home,  meditated and make some self-reflection. Because I could not notice any of the effects I read on other trips reports I decided to eat another 4.6 grams of truffles at around 5 pm. Tried to do some stuff I normally do during the day, like watching videos and some programming, but I realized that my emotions got really mixed and confused. I also felt sort of disappointed because I was not getting the effects that I have read about. I was tired so I ate something small and went to sleep around 10 pm. Day 2 I decided to give it another try to the truffles on an empty stomach so  after I woke up, ate a slice of apple and 4.5 grams of the Atlantis. Then I meditated for about 30 minutes and then I laid down on my bed and stayed there for about an hour. Again, after an hour I could feel the peaceful meditative state and felt more in contact with my feelings and emotions,  but no other sensory effects.
So I started to make a reflection about my life, like a summary at the end of the year, but mostly about trying to remember things I have repressed in the past because they where to painful or traumatic, in an attempt to bring them back to light and try to make some work on them to become happier and improve my life.
 
At around 5 pm I got hungry and I was about to go out but I decided to go all in and took 12 grams of truffles. I then made some concentration exercises and meditated for about an hour and started to get some stronger effects. I got some lamps with warm light in my apartment, I started to see the light more neutral white and vivid. I tried to move around and felt a little dizzy and clumsy in my movements. The peaceful meditative state got stronger. I also started to see some patterns on the walls that changed constantly, later the effects got even stronger and the wall had the appearance to be liquid and to change. Most of the time I was in a room that I use as studio, sitting on a chair. I then got some insights to questions that I asked previously during the morning when I started to make the reflection about my life and remembered some painful and traumatic experiences, which I have completely forgotten. I then realized I was trying to control the trip, restraining myself to do nothing, so I let myself go. I listened to some music and danced a little, after that I ate some food in the kitchen and looked at the changing patters on the walls. I could feel as I was connected with the universe, and also a lot more in contact with my feelings. I realized how much I have left this connection with myself aside by trying to pursue meaningless academic degrees and later jobs. Then I called some family members that I have not seen in a while, and felt this connection as I listened to them most of the time, and realized how important are relationships. Conclusions The days I could still feel the deeper/renewed connection with my feeling and emotions and with other persons.It was by then Christmas, so I could enjoy the company of the family,  I also realized I could connect better with my girlfriend. At the beginning, it may not had been the trip I was expecting, nevertheless it definitely made me see things different and I hope sharing my experience may be of help to some of you. Seeing and feeling this deeper connection with the universe and with other people, getting these insights about these past painful experiences made me realize that I have a lot of potential to grow and learn. What I don't really understand is why I did not get a stronger effect by eating them on an empty stomach. Perhaps it was a very low dose for my body, and I had already developed some tolerance to the truffles from the experience of the previous day. Then again I did not wanted to exceed the first time I tried mushrooms as I had some very scary experiences with smoking too much weed in the past. Could it be that I stored the truffles to long on the fridge? Did I took a very low dose for my weight/size? Or could it be that I got samples from a batch that did not to get to grow many of the active substance? I will definitely repeat this experience, but I wonder myself what if the next time I do it and eat 12-15 of fresh Atlantis truffles and get a much more stronger effect? What would you recommend me to do? Thanks a lot for reading and the comments!