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Elton

How Did You Start Meditating ? Here's My Story...

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   Just last year i had been on a trip to Shimla and Manali in India these are some really beautiful places to visit , it was my college trip and i was super excited to go there...when we were in the train we were all enjoying the freedom we thought we had being away from home we were listening to music and dancing and screaming and i was really tired by evening ... One old man with his wife were sitting next seat they lived near Shimla and were going back home ... In the night the temperature began to drop I cannot tolerate the cold and we were in the general compartment so was feeling very cold all the warm clothes were packed and locked in the suitcase and i was too lazy to get it out and wear it so i decided to be awake in the night, i was a heavy smoker at that time just last year in Jan...

  So I began talking to this old guy asked him how to fight the cold as i would be staying there for a week or so , took some tips simple ones (drink soup and tea) and all few min later that guy started talking about life and the art of living and i was very curious .. He pointed out to me that the freedom we thought we had wasn't really freedom and just one hour into the dancing that we were really tired and not later in the evening.. he told me that to succeed we should detach from money and not worry about anything and whatever we needed would naturally be attracted to us ... His wife claimed she didn't understand him for years lol :-P (me practicing meditation for a while now i see why) and he told me to come and stay with him for few days , I don't know if I was wise or not but i decided to stick with my class and didn't go with them ..  

  But that guy still remains in my consciousness not his face and all but I still remember .. Why did he call me with him ? why only me ? what would my life be if i'd be brave enough and gone with him...was that a call that i rejected .. i don't know !!  

  A month later went for an industrial visit with my class and at that time I was rejected from a girl , the rejection being very fresh had caused a lot of distress at that time and i wanted an external fix, one girl in my class started telling me about meditation and her experiences; being a new member of actiualized.org at that time i would frantically watch videos of Leo to dampen the wounds of my bruised ego and i came across his video of how to meditate and now i meditate daily i just hope this sticks forever. 

  I was searching for life's answers at that point of time , why do we live .. what is the point of life ? what is the purpose ? and i found this... for few months i would think i'm a pro at meditation and i know the deepest mysteries but after practicing it day after day now i feel i'm totally unaware , it is micro therapy and it ain't always pleasant and its effects are also not that as a magic pill , but i do trust this process and i have faith that it will bring something magical just the way it entered my life ...  

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I had been depressed tried to kill myself. Was fat, smoked played video games, drinked a lot. Things started to get better, I started to exersice and ate better.

Then I started meditating... I remember that I actually took a vow before starting to meditate and it went like this: "If meditation dosn't work I'm really going to kill myself".

P.S. I didn't kill myself ;)


Hallå

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I was overwhelmed with anger and rage. After my university graduation it became even worse. Ukraine is quite a corrupted country and in small towns the corruption is even stronger, so no matter how hard I tried I couldn`t get high results, but instead of losing motivation for study I tried even harder and that created a lot of stress. In the end I couldn`t speak normally with my family. I was yelling. I was always irritated by something. Also I had obsessive thoughts, fears and depressive episodes. I was spending all my free time behind computer screen. It felt like a constant torture rather by obsessive thoughts and fears or by depression. That`s why I couldn`t give up on meditation and self-inquiry.

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On ‎5‎/‎20‎/‎2016 at 11:50 AM, All_Around_Me said:

I was overwhelmed with anger and rage. After my university graduation it became even worse. Ukraine is quite a corrupted country and in small towns the corruption is even stronger, so no matter how hard I tried I couldn`t get high results, but instead of losing motivation for study I tried even harder and that created a lot of stress. In the end I couldn`t speak normally with my family. I was yelling. I was always irritated by something. Also I had obsessive thoughts, fears and depressive episodes. I was spending all my free time behind computer screen. It felt like a constant torture rather by obsessive thoughts and fears or by depression. That`s why I couldn`t give up on meditation and self-inquiry.

@All_Around_Me Meditation and self inquiry are fantastic tools for finding your life.

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@All_Around_Me   Your gonna do just fine! What is your passion? What comes to you with no effort?

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@cetus56 Thanks) J have a lot of actually))  It is difficult to answer now) I guess languages was the main one, but I always had a feeling that I can be okay with anything, it was difficult to chose something particular) Right now everything comes with no effort, it`s really great, I am finally able to enjoy all those things I wanted to, but couldn`t before. The liberation. Indeed.

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I don't really know what i had for the last 3 years because i can't even call it depression :)), i wanted to kill myself several times,also went to a party and my maniac stage came from nowhere and I started to scream that i will kill everyone ,and punching the walls,then got internated etc etc :)) ,After that i started to do personal development +meditation,and i recognised that the depresional events started to came rarely(sorry for my english),first i was concentrated on personal development and less on meditation,then i realised how important the meditation is(phylosphies and ideas about the meaning of ''no judging'').On vacations i was concentrated on self-inquiry,but i realised how mechanical i was doing that,so i decided to give up on that,and concentrate more on SDS and simple meditation.I recently started to realise how pretty much everything that i know about life (i mean everything) is happening in my head,and three weeks ago I was meditating on a block near my city,i was doing SDS and normal meditation,after 25 minutes i opened my eyes,i could feel all my body filling with emotions,and everything looked just the same (nothing really shining,it felt like my eyes were shining :)) ), it was beautiful .

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