andyjohnsonman

China celebrates 70th anniversary with biggest ever military parade

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Depends on the person. There is a difference between being stuck in a stage and moving onto the next stage. The both of you could start at blue, but can you and her tell the difference between healthy blue and unhealthy blue and move on and integrate the healthy parts of the next stage? To me, you can't skip stages, not even red. Why red? What if some disaster in life happens and the both of you don't know how to handle it? Like a war or a natural disaster? WWII was very horrific in China, and it was only a generation or two away. Anyway, it's your choice. Two crucial questions to ask yourself: are the both of you non-quitters? What are your healthy boundaries? I think healthy and unhealthy expectations and boundaries start at blue. I think the reason why so many ppl are stuck in orange is because they forgot to fully embody healthy blue.

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On 10/7/2019 at 8:52 PM, andyjohnsonman said:

At the end of the day i'm not Lao zi and need someone more relatable to me 

Like I said, it's your choice. I'm not telling you to get married to someone from there. However, I discovered in the end that I got the last laugh... :D

I must be doing something right. It's been over two decades of marriage.

I tried to explain it in this thread that stage blue has positive aspects. Every stage in tier 1 is profound. You don't just skip it. Otherwise, you'll be stuck at the next stage. A person or the married couple has to realize what are the positives and transcend stage blue. It's not just about being dogmatic, rigid, and making everyone follow your rules. I realized when I was younger, I did not overlook stage blue. That's why I was able to marry at 22 (after I graduated from the university). I asked my doctor what is the best age to have children. She said 23. Oh well, I had my first child when I was 24. I was a year late. :PMost ppl nowadays don't marry at that age or have children at that age. Btw, I broke records in my family. I married at the youngest age in my family in my generation. :D:ph34r: I beat my mother's record. She had me when she was 28. All my cousins married above 30. I could've beaten my grandma's record and got married at 18. She married at 19. But no, a woman has to be educated. So, I went for my four year degree. I could've had more children than my grandma. She had four. I could've had five. But, no. (Lol.) Of course, if we planned to have five children, we can't live in the US. Too expensive to send all the children to the university.

But, the main point to all of this is, I'm not encouraging others to get into serious relationships. Think before you do something. I live in a stage orange society. Most ppl here, over 50%, break up many times and divorce multiple times. I did not want someone from my society. I saw many ppl while I was growing up, trying to find someone in common with themselves. I understand. But, most end up breaking up. When they get married, most were not in their first relationship. Then they get divorced; over 50% experience this. They try to search for a more compatible one at a later age, but sometimes that doesn't work. This is definitely not the pattern I want to get into. Why is it always about "trying to relate to the other person?" I bet it's not. This is not what I'm experiencing. To me, it's: why get into a serious relationship and just break up? No point in that. What topics are you going to talk about in order to relate to her? The couple cannot keep talking forever. There's a point where you got to detach from each other.

_________

Some of healthy stage blue strengths: capable of playing traditional roles (homemaker/breadwinner), understands how to raise children, adjusting to changes in major decisions, compromising if necessary, works on communication skills with spouse, etc. And then, the couple transcends to stage orange. For example, become a startup. Etc. 

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Man loses thousands of dollars in prize money because of a small comment about hong kong protesters 

 

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