Going To Bed With Your Parents - (metaphorically)

[randombodymind]

Romantic infatuation and picking the negative patterns of your parents.
Could it be bad to pick someone who feels deeply familiar and like home to you because actually your picking up the same dynamic you had with your parents and you'll soon go through the same pain.

If you buy into any of that, would love to know your take

[Ayla]

Oh but you ARE picking up your parents...  

It's just a matter of being conscious enough to realize it 

[MonikaBcn]

All my past relationships had the same dynamics as my parents relation (very destructive btw): father: leader, provider, jerk, mother: loving, caring and weak.

I was like my father choosing bfs who were just like my mother. And I never ever wanted a relationship like that! So why was it happening to me?

When I finally realized what I was doing I wanted to laugh. 

I was always going for the shy guy. Unconsciously I was attracted to them. Why?? I don't even like shy guys! But it seems that I like challenges and when they were not showing me their interest (bcz they were shy, not bcz they were not interested) I was intrigued. Making them show their interest was very exciting. In the long term, none of the relationships survived. My parents also divorced finally after 25 years...

My point is, ask yourself very carefully what kind of partners are you choosing and WHY. You may realize that what feels right at first is not really what you want in the end.

[Roxanne]

someone who feels deeply familiar... Oh yeah, that hurts. Were we soulmates? Was it love? Or just another lesson? Why did I never feel anything like that ever since? I can clearly see that I attracted the same patterns that I was used to, and the experience pointed at many moral issues that I needed to solve. Still, it was the most sincere and genuine thing I remember. It was like waking up. 
It's strange that in order to pursuit self-mastery and -development you sometimes have to be (what seems to me) cold, valuing the truth and high ideas more than "going home and loving your family", in the words of Mother Teresa. I'm talking here about the parents too. Parents in the first place. 
I would like to know more of how to stay on the path of self-actualisation when your parents try to ban every effort in this direction. Financial independence is the first step, but there are things much harder to achieve than this to keep the relationship alive and healthy. 
I've watched the video in which Leo was talking about his parents and I instantly recognised mine. There is even more coincidence, as my parents come from a post-soviet country too. There is something common in the way most people think there. I believe there is just so much fear in the society, fear at the schools, fear at the universities, fear in the history, fear of the future, fear in the people's minds. The psychology of survival. People laugh when you talk about self-development, they think it's a toy for rich people from the west. 
In Germany, where I study now, I can't say there there are suddenly plenty of people interested in psychology and self-development, but at least there is none of that overwhelming "great depression", as I call it, and stubborn, fearful closed-mindedness.
I hope that the people in Eastern Europe, Russia etc. will find out more about what life can be and that they crawl out of the dark cave of their depression, insecurity, misery and prejudice. I hope that people will see that moving to Germany or America or Canada (oh yes, and don't forget to marry a citizen, ladies!) or elsewhere will not automatically solve their problems and guarantee a happily ever after. There is nothing wrong with moving to an other country, as long as an individual pursues his or her true dreams, or flees from some really dangerous life-threatening circumstances. But how many disappointments have I heard from people who were expecting that a new place will be a magic wand that makes their lives fulfilled and happy. I had made the same mistake, and honestly, I keep making it over and over again. Then what happens? The people become even more grounded in their belief that "the west is cold and heartless and we are warm and spiritual and that's why we're miserable, and we readily pay this price", which leads to "we have to update our survival guide - strengthen the pride and prejudice chapter, the safe job and the soft sofa sections, oh, and the don't-worry-mom-and-dad-will-do-it for-you-just-do-what-we-say trilogy".
It would be interesting if Leo addressed the most "problematic" audiences like the above in one video or another. Or if he told more about his relationship with his parents. Or tips how to reach such people and how to save the relationship, even if they don't share your philosophy and don't support your decisions.  And how to cope with it yourself. 
Oh, and the soulmate thing. What does it actually mean and what to expect or not to expect from this kind of a blessing... >o<