Worried about the worse case cenario with my success

[Marks199]

Hello everyone, I will soon in 5 months I'm gonna open my first business. I am very excited and happy that I am gonna dedicate myself to the thing I love to work wich is fitness (I am gonna administrate a gym like a fitness coacher). But I am very afraid of what I have done once in a video chatroom. I took my clothes off in front of a camera when I was 16 years old and someone taped me showing my dick and ass to the camera, therefore, I am afraid of getting success because I could be embarrassed publicly because of the tape made of me naked. I don't know what to do, should I become successful or not.

Edited August 1, 2019 by Marks199

[OctagonOctopus]

Yes of course you should still go after your vision, it is what you love! That is just a thought about the past, which doesn’t even exist. Even if this somehow comes back into your life, live it up, laugh it off. It is not going to hurt your career. It will only hurt you if you let it, notice how you are the one putting it into the context of “embarrassing”. 

What would you say to the person you care about most right now if they came to you and told you this was something they did when they were young? 

[Nahm]

Let’s say you continue living in alignment with your passion, you’ve orchestrated all your planning and preparations as best you can, and you’ve opened your gym. You’ve done the advertising, handed out the cards, spread the word, etc. You’ve made the best choices you can, working within the restraints of your budget, and you have put your heart into your dream as well as dedicated the majority of your time, attention, money and focus to making this happen. You’re a month into the grand opening, things are going well, clientele is growing, word of your approach, your dedication to well being, and your compassion to share this with the world, is spreading. One day, in walks a new client. He is overweight, struggling with sugar addiction, self image, self esteem, overthinking, and general overeating.

A month has passed, and in working with him, you have been at his side as he too made the choice to confront his fears, to rise above and better himself and his circumstances, to care for his health, to love and appreciate his body - to make the best of his life. There were moments of extreme resistance, many moments of “I can’t”. But because you were ‘there’ too, and you chose to keep going in the face of your fears, you know what he’s going through, and he knows you know, he deeply recognizes this, feels this, and you coach him straight through it; gently when needed, firmly when needed, supporting just as needed, and challenging him precisely when needed. You see that in his toughest moments when everything in him wants to give up and settle back into his old habits - you see that he draws upon your guidance, and your inspiration, he recognizes that he can, and he keeps going forward.

Now a few months have passed, and he has made significant progress in his physical well being, he’s making choices more aligned with his true intentions. He shares the impact this is having in his life with you. He shares that in his new found energy & clarity, he is mending relationships, truly becoming a better person, and doing the things he always wanted to but just couldn’t seem to muster the vision and energy to do before. Imagine it is in that exact moment that you fully realize the magnitude of the impact you have had on his life. You realize the driving force behind your efforts, what truly kept you going in your darkest times, the very heart and source of your passion - was always, in it’s rawest nature, simply unconditional love. Imagine that you become aware that this is the unstoppable drive you yourself, in spite of every obstacle and via your relentless dedication, have tapped into, imagine he too realizes this along with you, for the very first time in his life - that this power exists within him as well. Now, imagine the appreciation he holds for you and your efforts on his behalf, and he simply can not bare the weight of holding out on you a minute longer, as he shares with you that it was him who posted the video.

And you laugh, as you tell him, “it’s ok”. And you remind him that we are indeed all in this together, and that this love is for sharing, and that he can come to back to you in his times of doubt, and draw upon your inspiration any time it’s needed, so that he may remember it is also within him. Imagine that in this recognition, a sort of communication occurs which is transcendent of any words, more powerful in fact than any communication - rather, a bond is remembered, and realized.

Imagine your newest client, yet to overcome his fears, has observed this interaction, and is quite taken back by this genuine display of selflessness, and he asks you how you could be so forgiving, so accepting. He just can not fathom or understand this, can’t grasp it. And imagine you simply tell him, in your knowing of this love, in the conviction of the knowing of your source, simply that, ours is not a caravan of despair. 

 

 

 

[Marks199]

@Nahm I think you idealized it a little bit without any judgments. Because the journalists would laugh me out because of his tape and my career as a fitness coacher could fall completely and end up in ruins without any support.

Edited August 2, 2019 by Marks199

[JustThinkingAloud]

I don’t think that your customers would care about it because it doesn’t affect the service you provide. If you were the customer would you care that the owner of the business did what you did? I would care about the quality of the service I’m getting not about the personal reputation of the business owner. Being me, I probably wouldn’t even know what your name is and I don’t follow any gossip sites so it wouldn’t even reach me. Some people might even admire your courage to take your cloths of, we are all a bit different. If you’re really worried, you can change your name or your appearance so you’re not easily recognised.

[Nahm]

@Marks199 How much does your perspective matter...give me a percentage.

[Litaken]

One thing that helps is to understand and face how irrational your fear is, because that's literally how fear works. Fear makes you overestimate the possiblity of the worst case scenarios. You cling to that video not getting out to public. It's not easy but the best you can do is to accept the possiblity that it might. When you will be able to do that, you will much clearer see that the possibility of that is much lower than you think. Also the internet is full of dick pics and videos, noone cares,  specially your customers  They won't even know who you are

[Marks199]

Ok, I got @Litaken . But what if I become a famous politician?

[Zigzag Idiot]

@Marks199

You'll be completely psychologically integrated and have a big grin about it!

Edited August 13, 2019 by Zigzag Idiot

[Marks199]

@Zigzag Idiot Don't understand you. =P