bmcnicho

Is Romantic Love a Drug?

13 posts in this topic

Since chemicals such as oxytocin and vasopressin are released when falling in love, should love be thought of in that way, akin to taking some psychedelics or snorting some cocaine?

I know love is usually thought of as being more significant and genuine than that, but these chemicals do significantly alter various aspects of cognition and emotion.

The one time I was in love, the whole experience was very psychologically destabilizing, including before, during, and after.  While relationships can provide a huge opportunity for personal growth, I want to avoid having something interfere with my sound judgement and emotional stability.

Maybe romantic relationships should be thought of similarly to psychedelics: a profound opportunity that involves great danger, so should be used with extreme caution.

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@bmcnicho Yes, romantic love is induced by certain kind of brain chemistry. That's why many couples don't make it past the infatuation phase of relationship  (0 - 2 years).

 

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There is something worst than being ind the neuro-drugs when you are in the "in love stage".

These chemicals make you idealize your partner thanks to your biased mainstream ideas seen in movies and media, a fatale cocktel.

For example you met somebody beautiful but have certain negative traits and you come to his/her life to be the hero, the savior, to fix his life.

These damn chemicals wont let you see how ugly she is, how bad she can smell, psychological issues, and your tolerange towards her will be huge.

Romantic love degrade you as a person sacrificing your integrity to make the other person happy. Its beautifull, heroic, romantic, but degrading.

 

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5 minutes ago, Moreira said:

Romantic love degrade you as a person sacrificing your integrity to make the other person happy. Its beautifull, heroic, romantic, but degrading.

I wouldn't say 'degrading', I'd rather say egoic. Romantic love is based on the desire to be desired. And what is desire other than the pull of the ego.

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43 minutes ago, Moreira said:

Romantic love degrade you as a person sacrificing your integrity to make the other person happy. Its beautifull, heroic, romantic, but degrading.

Yeah that's why you need to build yourself as a person first, and love yourself first.

You wouldn't accept to degrade yourself for anyone if you love yourself, then you can truly love, which is very different than attachment and the chemicals in the first two years, it's a deliberate choice.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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37 minutes ago, Natasha said:

I wouldn't say 'degrading', I'd rather say egoic. Romantic love is based on the desire to be desired. And what is desire other than the pull of the ego.

When you are i love and you try to give oral sex to your partner and the "thing" smells like rotten fish but you decide to "sacrifice" yourself to make the other happy. That's degradation, putting the other first to make him/her happy.

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5 minutes ago, Moreira said:

When you are i love and you try to give oral sex to your partner and the "thing" smells like rotten fish but you decide to "sacrifice" yourself to make the other happy. That's degradation, putting the other first to make him/her happy.

No it's a lack of healthy self-love. You tell your partner to keep their genitals clean if they want to be pleasured down there, or it won't happen.

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11 minutes ago, Natasha said:

No it's a lack of healthy self-love. You tell your partner to keep their genitals clean if they want to be pleasured down there, or it won't happen.

I smell past experience xD

Easiest thing to do is take a shower yourself then say to the persone to take a shower too, easy.

If they don't they that kind of show they don't really care anyway.


God is love

Whoever lives in love lives in God

And God in them

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18 minutes ago, Shin said:

I smell past experience xD

So does he xD

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10 minutes ago, Shin said:

I smell past experience xD

I actually never had bad experience in that area, neither giving or receiving end. I prefer to get to know the person quite well and observe their real life habits first, so by the time I'm ready, it's 100% certain there will be no surprises ;)

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1 minute ago, Natasha said:

I'm ready, it's 100% certain there will be no surprises

No amount of observation will ever show you if he smells downstairs or not ?

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3 minutes ago, Charlotte said:

No amount of observation will ever show you if he smells downstairs or not ?

Depends on how long you've known them and hung out with them. I take my sweet time with a guy. Usually you can tell from their overall cleanness habits. You'll never have surprises if you know what and how to do it.

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