fear of judgement

[Kiko]

Hello guys, as you can see from my title i have big anxiety from being judget and criticized. This fear occur very often in my work, where my boss or my coworkers are to asses my work.I just cannot take critics from others i try but i immediatly put my shield.I have also very hard time when somebody is watching at my work while is in progress or its done. 

[Nahm]

@Kiko Imagine someone verbalizes judgement to you for the thing you most do not want anyone to know. The thing you are terrified of being judged for. 

What happens after?    Would you be arrested?    Admitted into a therapeutic program?    Would certain people know it was you behind something that impacted them? 

[sausagehead]

I’ve learned to just feel bad for the people who judge me. I have 3 reasons to feel bad for them

1. The more you judge others the more you judge yourself. People who judge others for saying something stupid will end up judging themselves the next time they say something stupid.

2. The more people judge the more they assume others are judging. When you make an effort to understand and have compassion for others you expect them to do the same.

3. Peoples judgement reinforce their insecurities. If I think your awkwardness is “bad” well now any awkwardness I have is bad and I feel insecure when I show signs of it. Kinda just another way of looking at #1

 

Peoples judgement is their problem not yours. Practicing non judgement is so important that I feel bad for those who don’t. Refrain yourself from judging anyone as much as possible and have compassion instead. I can look down on a homeless person for being a debt to society or I can feel that homeless persons pain and have compassion for them. I’ll always choose compassion over judgement because of how much better it makes me feel. Your insecurities will start to diminish, your self love will increase, you’ll assume people are more friendly and less critical. Compassion over judgement. If I judge you, it strengthens my ego and I got hell to pay, if I feel your pain then I have less ego which will serve me..

I think if you judge yourself less you will worry less about the judgement of others as well. You probably judge yourself too much and need more self compassion. They way I have self compassion is by realizing all I’ve ever wanted in life is to be happy and there’s plenty of times I’m not happy or even suffering. The same goes for everyone else, even the people who have it way better than I do, so I even extend my compassion to them. I keep saying this word but compassion allows you to acknowledge the same things from a different perspective that will actually serve you in life not hurt you

 

Edited May 6, 2019 by sausagehead
Hey Leo

[AnTe]

it's because you're most likely already your biggest and harshest critic so are taking other people's words and actions personally. people can't see into our minds they only see what we act out and most people are judging based on their insecurities just as you are, projecting this to the outside world.