kindayellow

Dating Whilst Self Actualizing

26 posts in this topic

@Gabriel Antonio I actually had this conversation with myself on a walk with my dog. I try not to go too hard on myself, and like it's okay to be on my phone, watch TV etc, there's nothing inherently bad about those things, I just would like to feel the need not to do that stuff, from my current understanding anyway. I'm aware that stuff is years away from me. But also, it's like, why can't I just be contempt in my own head all day? Why do I find that unpleasant? Surely there's something im avoiding here? 

But one thing I've not thought about is those things being good for you spritiually. How so?


Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

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12 hours ago, kindayellow said:

But also, it's like, why can't I just be contempt in my own head all day? Why do I find that unpleasant? Surely there's something im avoiding here? 

If you can love everyone around you unconditionally, and if you can always find contentment just where you are, then you’re probably a dog.

 

12 hours ago, kindayellow said:

But one thing I've not thought about is those things being good for you spritiually. How so?

Sometimes they are.

When a person abuses those things, then it's obviously not a good thing.

That being said, there are underlying causes for a person to seek to escape from reality through those things (TV, drugs, sex, etc) 

Edited by Gabriel Antonio

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17 hours ago, Joseph Maynor said:

I feel like I'm in the space in my life where an intimate relationship with a woman is really causing me a lot of growth.  But think this depends on the particular Path of the person.

For me, this has been huge and will probobly continue to be. There’s so much to learn 😲

I believe that woman are absolutely necessary for growing as a man.

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8 minutes ago, cirkussmile said:

I believe that woman are absolutely necessary for growing as a man.

I agree 100%.  :x

Edited by Joseph Maynor

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@cirkussmile @Gabriel Antonio 

Agreed also, being in a relationship, especially one in which it's super dysfunctional, teaches you so much about why it didn't work, and what to avoid in potential partners.

 

At times my neediness was just killing me when she wasn't available, and I didn't have the strength to end it earlier cause I needed that distraction. This then lead to a super messy break up where I felt I couldn't leave, because even though her attraction lacked, whenever I tried to cut things off, she would go insane and I was just worried she'd do something crazy. It eventually ended when she just decided it wasn't working and we were wasting each other's time 


Don't blame a clown for acting like a clown, ask yourself why you keep going to the circus.

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21 hours ago, kindayellow said:

Agreed also, being in a relationship, especially one in which it's super dysfunctional, teaches you so much about why it didn't work, and what to avoid in potential partners.

Right, it can be very painful though. And there are other ways to learn about relationships in an easier way. 

 

21 hours ago, kindayellow said:

At times my neediness was just killing me when she wasn't available, and I didn't have the strength to end it earlier cause I needed that distraction.

Right. 

 

21 hours ago, kindayellow said:

This then lead to a super messy break up where I felt I couldn't leave, because even though her attraction lacked, whenever I tried to cut things off, she would go insane and I was just worried she'd do something crazy.

Wow, that's a tough spot to be in... 

 

21 hours ago, kindayellow said:

It eventually ended when she just decided it wasn't working and we were wasting each other's time 

I'm glad it has ended. Many couples stay together for years, feeding the co-dependency. 

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