Applying the Stuff you learn

[John West]

When you read a lot of Self-Helf books in general, but espacially the more spiritual stuff, I feel it is very difficult to apply the ideas. If you read e.g. "take things less personally", how do you actually practice something like this? And it's not just that, when you read a book, there is more than that involved (e.g. "do the best you can" , "love everyone" , "be grateful" , "be kind" ....). I cant possibly remember everything in every situation. If I run around just thinking about the 20 ideas I've got from a book, I'll end up paralysing. 

How can you practice such things? Like practically. Visualizing yourself doing it? Contemplating about why this idea works (and checking if it worked in past/direct experience)? Reading it, really going through what that means, and than just listening to my intuition?

[Telepresent]

This is an interesting problem that I have encountered a lot with these kinds of books.  There's a significant, significant difference between reading and understanding, applying, and thinking (or convincing yourself) that you are applying.

The only thing that I can suggest is that you take one book, one chapter, one idea, and focus on that until you know you understand it, and that you actually embody it without having to consciously remind yourself of.  Which is frustrating if you have three-dozen books that you want to apply right now.  But this is how change happens - little steps, a bit at a time, with space to integrate.

And sometimes these things feel impossible.  I remember my therapist telling me that I needed to accept myself more.  It took me three months working on that just to work out what it meant, let alone do it...

So I suppose my advice is focus, look at one thing at a time.  Habits take time to form, change takes time to happen, and if you try to to do too much all in one go you'll not to any of it (citation: experience).

[John West]

Ok thank you

[Markus]

@John West It might help you to consider the common denominator. What are the principles that when followed are conducive to developing love, gratitude, kindness, etc. The Buddha's eightfold path is one such set of principles. I would say just the four noble truths and walking through life following the eightfold path alone will keep you on the right track. 

[WelcometoReality]

On 2019-02-21 at 5:27 PM, John West said:

When you read a lot of Self-Helf books in general, but espacially the more spiritual stuff, I feel it is very difficult to apply the ideas. If you read e.g. "take things less personally", how do you actually practice something like this? And it's not just that, when you read a book, there is more than that involved (e.g. "do the best you can" , "love everyone" , "be grateful" , "be kind" ....). I cant possibly remember everything in every situation. If I run around just thinking about the 20 ideas I've got from a book, I'll end up paralysing. 

How can you practice such things? Like practically. Visualizing yourself doing it? Contemplating about why this idea works (and checking if it worked in past/direct experience)? Reading it, really going through what that means, and than just listening to my intuition?

Focus on one practice and apply it. Doing several practices will only make you feel overwhelmed. 

The one I used was "surrender to the present moment". Just let everything be as it is.