My meditation journal

[Thittato]

30 min meditation today. Really sweet. So I haven’t been journaling much lately, but I’ve been keeping my practice up. It has been a mix of yoga, swimming, meditation, weight-lifting, etc. Me and a good friend travelled to a community where we have been living for 9 days. This is such a cool place. Lots of musicians, artists and spiritual seekers living together in a village. It is pretty awesome. We’ve even established/re-ignited an old meditation/yoga group that used to be active here. So far we’ve met two times to do ganja yoga and silent meditation together. Yesterday was really the peak. We were 5 people that did «Cannabis Fullmoon Meditation» together. Such an awesome and powerful meditation that was. That is why I started the day with meditation today - because I wanted to continue to explore the depth that yesterday opened up. It also just feels so good to be part of a community of like-minded people again. Just so much inspiration, love and joy. So much fun <3

[Thittato]

1 hour meditation this morning. So nice ? Just focusing on surrendering into the breath and letting my belly be soft and relaxed.

[Thittato]

Back home again (yesterday). 10 min High Intensity Interval Training with weights today, then a cold shower, and then 20 min vinyasa flow yoga later in the day. Such an inspiring stay in this community me and a friend visited for 12 days. It was pretty perfect, the whole thing. Now I'm just journaling a lot on my own (not here) in order to sort through all the impressions I've been getting. Especially I've been getting a lot of inspiration when it comes to music, fitness, and sociability.

[Thittato]

20th session of kayaking.

So now my goal of doing 20 sessions of kayaking this year is done (I started late in the summer). I'm probably not going to buy a dry-suit so that I can paddle through the winter, so I think this season is done for me. But now I have a pretty awesome foundation for next season. It will probably be pretty awesome to pick it back up again in the spring when the sun comes back and things starts to bloom again. When I came home, after having rested for a bit, I did a 12 minute full body tabata workout, and then I did a cold shower. Yesterday I also tried a thing called "Rucking." Basically carrying weights in your backpack when walking. I carried 20 kg and walked for 40 min. The interesting thing about exercise is that it is really addictive. When the dose gets high enough you start to feel really terrible when you don't get your dose, so it becomes self-enforcing. The results also inspires, and the fresh and awesome feeling one gets.

[Thittato]

30 min ganja yoga today. So nice and nourishing. It makes me very relaxed and refreshed.

Gosh. That stay in that hippie-community for 12 days was a bit over the top. I've felt very exhausted after this stay.

I mean, it was fun and exciting and all that, but it certainly had its cost as well.

And especially I think I'm going against my purpose by doing such a thing. We smoked waaaay too much cannabis. I was travelling together with a super-stoner, and I got sucked into his smoking patterns. We were going to do ganja yoga together this whole trip, and we did a few times, but at some point I realized that he isn't really all that into it. In fact I've been re-activating some old friendships with people who smokes now as I thought we were on the same page - but basically many of them are just pretty normal stoners who use smoking as an escape. So I've been sucked into stoner culture again even though all I really wanted to do was to do yoga.

So I feel quite exhausted from this.

But it was a nice reminder today that ganja yoga is very powerful, and I don't need to smoke together with friends just as a recreational thing. I mean, that is such a waste of the huge potenial cannabis has when used in a conscious way. The yoga is so fun and deep when done with cannabis. Much more fun than anything else I can imagine doing while high.

So now I just want to settle down here back home again, and just surrender into cozy and meaningful hometown-life.

[Thittato]

45 min meditation in the morning, and then a cold shower. And now in the evening I just did 30 min ganja yoga. Wow. That went really deep. I was processing a lot of stuff regarding what it means to become a man. A lot of vulnerability around that, but as the vulnerability was felt and expressed through my body I was also uncovering a lot of strength, peace, and love.

I think all this exercise I'm doing will certainly support me a lot in growing into my full masculine potential. Someone who is wise and calm. And friendly.

Yoga just totally rocks!

I'm starting to feel what it means to be whole.

[Thittato]

30 min ganja yoga on friday, no practice yesterday, except for a cold shower, and then 30 min ganja yoga today. So nice. Today was just really relaxing and calm. Nothing dramatic going on in any way. Just a chill, inspired, and relaxed flow.

[Thittato]

Yesterday: 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing

Today: 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then some cleaning of my place, then 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then 30 min ganja yoga (without cannabis), then 10 kettlebell snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a good and long cold shower.

Seems like all my practices are merging effortlessly into one thing.

[Thittato]

45 min of meditation this morning, and then 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. So sweet.

[Thittato]

No practice yesterday, but today I smoked cannabis again. I only had 4 puffs from a joint when I was visiting a friend, but they were pretty effectful. So when I came home I did a really nice and powerful session that started with 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, then 30 min ganja yoga, then 10 kettlebell snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a 20 min meditation.

[Thittato]

Started this morning with doing 20 dumbbell snatches on each hand with a 8 kg dumbbell as a warm-up for kettlebell snatches. After this I did 10 snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell. It felt much better doing them when I had warmed up with a lighter weight first. I think maybe starting with a 20 kg kettlebell is too much, but I'm working my way around it by supporting my body with yoga and now also with warming up with a lighter weight first. After this I meditated for 30 min, and then I did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing. No cold shower lately because I've been having a cold, but I'll get back to those as soon as this cold is over.

[Thittato]

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing today, then 40 snatches on each hand with a 8 kg dumbbell as a warm-up for 20 (10 + 5 + 5) snatches on each hand with a 20 kg kettlebell, and then a good and long cold shower. Went out and had a glass of red wine with a good friend, and now that I came home I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing. My body is starting to adapt to these 20 kg kettlebell snatches now. The technique is getting better and better. I think I want to build my physical practice around the kettlebell snatch, with yoga (and other practices) as a support for improving the snatch. It is about time that I need to be doing something where progress is easy to measure, and this seems like the perfect exercise for me, and I think it will totally compliment my yoga-practice in a really good way.

[Thittato]

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing today, and then a cold shower. Seems like I'm getting back to a more focused Wim Hof approach again now for the winter. I've been doing cold showers for the whole year, but I stopped doing his breathing method at some point. Now that the winter is here again I actually think it sucks quite a lot, so I'm looking the get the most out of it by getting more dedicated with the Wim Hof method again. I haven't started ice-bathing again yet, even though I've been thinking a lot about it, but I think I'm in no rush about about it and I'll let it come naturally again at some point this winter when I need some variation to my cold showers.

[Thittato]

3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing. I was feeling so great and clear in my mind from the first 3 rounds today so I had to do another set. So sweet :-)

[Thittato]

45 min yoga nidra in the morning and 30 min ganja yoga in the evening. Really chill day.

[Thittato]

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, 20 min of vinyasa flow yoga, and a cold shower, this morning. So nice :-)

[Thittato]

And then 30 min ganja yoga in the evening. So nice and powerful.

[Thittato]

30 min of ganja yoga today with a really good friend. It was so cool to finally get to show him this form of yoga. He totally digged it. Then we had a super-awesome music-jam for many hours. Ganja yoga and playing music is a really awesome combination. It is like going really deep with yoga first, and then that goes deeper into a music-jam-meditation. I found it hard to go to sleep after all this fun, so I got back up from my bed and did 3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and now I will try to sleep again. Feels like that breathing was the last thing I needed before my day is totally complete. So nice. Ok. Good night :-)

Edited December 19, 2021 by Thittato

[Thittato]

One month pause from Cannabis.

3 rounds of Wim Hof breathing, and a cold shower, today. So nice!

So I ran out of cannabis yesterday. This time it lasted from monday to saturday. I had a really amazing session yesterday with both ganja yoga and music, but I was feeling that it is time to take a break from it and reflect on what it has given me without adding on new experiences with it for a while. So yesterday was the perfect session to round it off with for this time.

Edited December 19, 2021 by Thittato

[Thittato]

So I participated in a cacao and bhajan ceremony tonight outside in a pretty cool place. When doing cacao-ceremonies we are always asked to set an intention for what we want out of the ceremony. My intention was to celebrate all the interesting experiences I've had for the last half a year as I became interested in using cannabis for spiritual use again and also to mark the shift as I'm now taking a month one break from using it. After the ceremony was done I walked the 10 km back home. It was a really nice walk, and I felt so inspired when I arrived at home so I did 3 more rounds of Wim Hof breathing for today. I'm very enthusiastic about this break from cannabis. It will be interesting to see what my perception of it will be in one month from now. Was my mind more foggy than I would liked to admit? Did I get addicted, or was I about to develop an addiction? Did I nurture contact with people who are stuck in their lives because of their cannabis-habit, and would my energy reap better results if invested in other relationships? Or did it primarily bring a lot of positive benefits into my life as I was utilizing the connection between cannabis and yoga for deep and soothing relaxation and other benefits? It will be interesting to see what I will think about all of this in one month. But it is safe to say that I feel very satisfied about my use this time. Cannabis used to bring me paranoia. This time I used ganja yoga to breathe into and allow the paranoia that it triggers for me, and now it feels like I feel very comfortable and safe with the effect that cannabis gives and I have probably managed to get to the roots of some type of anxiety that was there in the backgrounds anyways regardless of whether cannabis activated it or not. So it has been a huge booster to my yoga-practice. And I've had some really great musical experiences with it as well. And lots of really cool philosophical conversations.