Help, how to get out of a spiraling-down victim episode?

[moon777light]

So i usually have these about once a month, where for some reason, something triggers me that im somehow in someway not enough, and i cant stop thinking about it, and i start to overthink and overanalyze everything and everything spirals downward. IM having one right now, which started last night. I was looking at something online that for some reason made me thought no one wanted me (it was just pictures of people i knew having fun), and my heart started feeling very heavy as if someone attached a chain and a 5kilo weight on it dangling downward. This heavy heart feeling is still present to today. I tried to do the "radiate love" method, where you love yourself no matter what feeling, including this suffering, and it didnt really help. Today somepeople glanced at me in school for a slightly longer period and i immediatey jumped to conclusions like "something here is wrong with me, i dont belong here, no one accepts me, im not enough bla bla bla" i even started fantasizing about scenarios of getting revenge on the person. I knew i was making up stories and that i need to stop this, i tried, but they kept coming up. This episode usually lasts a day and then it goes away for a month and i completely forget about it. 

Anyone have any advice for this? thank you

 

[Nahm]

@moon777light It’s a message, stop projecting it onto other people, they aren’t a part of it. That’s running from the message. Do not run too long, you don’t even know what you’re running from - could be nothing, look and see. All is well, I promise. 

[Colin]

I've been enjoying this book as of late



It is peppered with humor and science fiction metaphors, yet communicates some profound information at the same time.

There is a quote somewhere near the beginning of the book where he says, paraphrase " believe it or not, I have actually learned to love my mind"

It can help you relate better to your mind.

The audiobook is great.

[moon777light]

On 12/14/2018 at 2:30 PM, Nahm said:

@moon777light It’s a message, stop projecting it onto other people, they aren’t a part of it. That’s running from the message. Do not run too long, you don’t even know what you’re running from - could be nothing, look and see. All is well, I promise. 

@Nahm thank you for your answer. That's so hard to do, when im spiriling down i try my absolute hardest to focus away from other's opinions but i cant do it for more than a few seconds. Its like some weird  negative glue in my mind that i try to pry myself off from. I tried to stop resisting but i just get boggled down by more negative them-vs-me thoughts, or maybe im 'not resisting' in a wrong way?

@Colin Thanks, ill look it into it.

Positive thing is i asked my BF for a therapist he can try to connect me with, i feel like that'll be the best option for now, just hope i can get an appointment  

Edited December 18, 2018 by moon777light

[ivory]

If it only last a day then you are golden. The best thing to do is "just be with it" rather than resisting or trying to make it go away. It will pass. The knowledge that it's impermanent is going to make it easier the next time it arises. Know your triggers. It's easier to remain objective and catch it before you get sucked into it. Therapy is never a bad option.