youngshinzen

How do I accept my shadow?

8 posts in this topic

I just woke up from a nap and felt that my biggest fear is to embody my dark side and express it fully. I felt that if I go through it, I may not return and become permanently mentally ill.

When I was 5, I started to play a character, because I thought that letting go and being myself is not enough/too evil. That split lead to a deep depression with a psychosis/awakening 3 years ago, that resolved the duality of good and evil. 

Now I know that there‘s is no evil, and I can use this knowledge externally, but still, my biggest fear is to be a bad person. How should I work on this? 

Thanks in advance.

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It doesn't take a philanthropist or super hero to be a "good person". Opening/holding the door for people approaching it, smile at the people you walk past, say "please" and "thank you", just simple things that can make someone else's day just a little brighter. You are going to mess up man, you're only human. Don't put so much pressure on being perfect because you will ALWAYS fall short. 

Just try to be conscious of the things you say and do and just try your best, that's all you can do. As long as you don't hurt someone in a way that cannot be healed (physically, emotionally), you are doing just as good as most of the world. 

Just try not to stress it. You ever hear of the "Laws of Attraction"? 

Quote

 

Simply put, the Law of Attraction is the ability to attract into our lives whatever we are focusing on. It is believed that regardless of age, nationality or religious belief, we are all susceptible to the laws which govern the Universe, including the Law of Attraction. It is the Law of Attraction which uses the power of the mind to translate whatever is in our thoughts and materialize them into reality. In basic terms, all thoughts turn into things eventually. If you focus on negative doom and gloom you will remain under that cloud. If you focus on positive thoughts and have goals that you aim to achieve you will find a way to achieve them with massive action.

This is why the universe is such an infinitely beautiful place. The Law of Attraction dictates that whatever can be imagined and held in the mind’s eye is achievable if you take action on a plan to get to where you want to be.

http://www.thelawofattraction.com/what-is-the-law-of-attraction/

 

It's all in your mind and you have control over it. Just relax :)

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@youngshinzen Dealing with the shadow doesn't mean expressing the dark side fully. It means accepting parts of yourself that you deny and integrating the helpful aspects of them.

Don't worry, the shadow seems so much more scary than it is, maybe you imagine that you have to abandon being a good person? No, you don't, you just become more conscious as your transcend the opposite polarities. A conscious person is good, the difference is they are no longer energetically triggered by disowned aspects of their primative psyche that were once projected onto the environment and others.  

It's the end of irrational fear, not the beginning of regressing into past structures. 

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Posted (edited)

@youngshinzen

The dark side is created by accumulation of little hurts over time that were ignored or not fully expressed. Little parts of yourself that were denied in the process. Because I grew up in an enotionally hostile enivornment I was not allowed to express my feelings to their full extent. Because my family made fun of me when I expressed emotional hurt I had to suppress my feelings in oder to survive, to please them. They were my world, how could I dare go against them with my "bad" behaviour? How could I risk losing my mothers love and security by defying her request that I "stop my whining?"

Every time I faced an emotional pain I was punished for being soft or weak or not good enough. 

That's the shadow. All these little experiences that were not completed. Unfinished business. That's all it is. 

When I allow this in, by small chunking It, I can begin to deal with all the repressed feelings that cause me to have wrong feelings and perceptions about the world and myself. I have become inauthentic and my process allows me to claim my authenticity and stop using a fake persona in order to manage and cope with my neurosis.  

As I go through my process I heal my personality and it becomes dark no longer. The polarities that the fragmented mind created are transcended and the experiences are included and stored away in their correct place as memories and no longer occupy my attention.

I hope this clarifies things for you  

 

Edited by Feel Good

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Posted (edited)

8 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

I just woke up from a nap and felt that my biggest fear is to embody my dark side and express it fully. I felt that if I go through it, I may not return and become permanently mentally ill.

 

wow i had the same thing a while back

i woke up from sleep in the middle of night once and was confronted by my shadow and to accept it 

i noticed my shadow's was surfacing, and it was my biggest fear. my biggest fear being that I'm insecure and i had to come to terms with that 

i tried to accept it but felt excruciating pain and couldn't

fell back asleep

i'm going to go back and tackle this again 

 

this is a good book for shadow work :  Shadow Dance: Liberating the Power & Creativity of Your Dark Side 

Edited by d0ornokey

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8 hours ago, youngshinzen said:

I just woke up from a nap and felt that my biggest fear is to embody my dark side and express it fully. I felt that if I go through it, I may not return and become permanently mentally ill.

When I was 5, I started to play a character, because I thought that letting go and being myself is not enough/too evil. That split lead to a deep depression with a psychosis/awakening 3 years ago, that resolved the duality of good and evil. 

Now I know that there‘s is no evil, and I can use this knowledge externally, but still, my biggest fear is to be a bad person. How should I work on this? 

Thanks in advance.

I have a couple of videos that may help. The main thing with the "evil" drive is to see that it's just a neutral phenomenon within your internal landscape. It means as much about "you" as the tree in your backyard. This can be difficult, however, because we so strongly identify with our internal landscape. But if we did the same with our external landscape, people would immediately recognize this as crazy. Like, if there were a thunderstorm, and a person thought that they were causing it somehow, you'd look at them a little funny. 

But here are the videos:

 


Check out my YouTube channel: https://www.youtube.com/c/thediamondnet 

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@zoey101 Thanks for reminding me to set my expectations lower.

@Feel Good Thanks, I can feel that too, that it’s root cause is hurt. Can you give me a practical example on how you activate the shadow and work with it?

@d0ornokey Thanks, I‘ll take a look at it👍🏼

@Emerald I didn‘t elaborate on that part, but a few weeks ago my shadow surfaced (jester/demonic like) and when I expressed it consciously without judging, I saw how I was neither the light, nor the shadow, I‘m the observer (whatever that is). But after a few minutes I could observe how the „good“ half wanted to take over and it slowly started to judge the „bad“ half. That‘s what I got sucked back into. But I understand what you‘re saying and have watched the shadow work video, I‘ll check out your other vids too. Thanks👍🏼

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Posted (edited)

@youngshinzen Yea, whenever you get triggered stop the usual thing that you tend to do and get curious instead. What characteristics of the person happened to trigger a response from you? Once you figure out what the characteristic is you can then have imaginary conversations with the person who upset you. A fun way to get into this is put an empty chair opposite you and "have it out" with the other person. Then jump into the empty chair and become the other person and embody what you imagine their response to you will be. Talk from that person's voice back at @youngshinzen who is now imagined to be in the empty chair opposite you. 

Go back and forth jumping into the empty chair and create a live dialogue. Keep at it till you are done (resolve that particular issue). :)

 

 

 

Edited by Feel Good

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