now is forever

living a catch 22

112 posts in this topic

19 hours ago, MarkusSweden said:

Can't you maintain the Beautiful chaos despite all people that invade your city? Why does it has to go? 

actually the people living here most are invadors themselves, me inclusive, in that sense, everyone came at a certain point. by birth or by foot.

chaos was always there.

Edited by now is forever

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today i'll try to take this song as my mantra "her" is the challenge or the vision or the world because i'm not the only one, there is many many who already hold it up, i'll just let it in until i can hold it up with everyone, always searching for solutions, finding my life purpose:

 

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sense of privacy came back, ? finally

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image.jpg

thats what life should be about.

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17 minutes ago, now is forever said:

image.jpg

thats what life should be about.

Did you draw and designed this? ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ 

Edited by John Iverson

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these days i'm thinking of the bauhaus a lot - and what they wanted to achieve. an imagineary cathedral, for everyone to  be walked through. they didn't make it then. but the cathedral is still there and we all take part in building it. 

the way we are building it just has changed and it's more of a temple, or just a building to live in healthy.

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@John Iverson no i copied it and fotographed it with a pattern i drew ?

collage thinking

(it's not technically good, because it's quiet intuitive and the pattern was just for training, but it transports what it should)

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2 minutes ago, now is forever said:

@John Iverson no i copied it and fotographed it with a pattern i drew ?

collage thinking

It's a beautiful idea haha :D

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if we manage to connect both and think in collage we are able to cope with almost any situation we are confronted with. self actualization is a basic and very important foundation for it. life purpose, too.

but we are living in society it's almost impossible to step out of it while being part of it. we can only take part by taking part in it.

learning from each other, learning from our own faults. constantly adapting adapting, growing growing into what we want to be, achieving what we want the world to manifest into.

like davinci's vitruvian man, like the body models of the ancient cultures. like they wanted to build healthy homes, making the world into a healthy home.

maybe we all have to face nothingness for that.

if it eats us up internally and externally, we all have the choice to organize ourself. finding the best way possible to coap with it.

being selfresponsible.

like children learning to walk, falling down, standing up again. learning to walk by starting to walk.

some still need a helping hand, others are grown up enough to walk on their own.

as i myself always try to stay a child in my heart, i'll always try to find help in the encouraging eyes of someone around me. i now just don't need to trust in all their words anymore. and i try to laugh about it when they look mischievous uppon me.

the moment i know i can hold the world up - and i'll trust in myself, i can walk without looking for others. because then i will have stopped walking and start standing and holding. on my shoulders the generations that come after me.

individually that means if the burden gets to high, we have to let go sometimes and look for what we are holding up. if we are holding up nothingness we might have to start walking again. or we look where there is something worth holding up, someone standing alone and start helping. we can hold up a shield, too. we can hold up knowledge and truth, and whole systems and business. but our legs and arms have to be strong enough, usually we need others to hold with us. and sometimes we are the only ones standing left who know the path, looking around seeing everyone just holding nothing. then we have to start doing something.

there is no one there to tell us what to do, only our hearts and our heads and our body in the reflection of life.

 

when we start doing though, we have to connect the dots, building new streams in our head. interact communicate with the world finding out what's worth living for.

until we act uppon our thoughts and consciousness and hearts with the whole body, it's all just beautiful phantasy.

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@MarkusSweden just tried to figure out why germany is post war traumatized, certainly that can be interpreted in different ways. but i'm talking about the generations after the 3.reich - that generation has already died. i'm talking about their children and grandchildren. germany as a country has faced a massive ego death - and tried to coap with that (it doesn't go for everyone though, some just hid it underneath their brown sofa - it comes out blue again, recently more than before)

then the wall was also difficult. and well still the problems with hurt egos.

but we still talk about it in society it's an example that always matches as comparisons to reveal hidden problems, sometimes just to shut someone up who babbles political nonsense. we learn about it in school so often it starts to be annoying if you have to chew it for the fifth time, you think you have heard it all and understood it all at one point. always selfinquiering because it's related to us. some more some less. 

also the wall and cold war - all of that made the hippie era more politically loaded than in some other countries. maybe just differently loaded.

the post war trauma is the shock of being a descendent of it. but it's still important to not forget what happened. taking responsibility for it.

the milgram experiment is kind of a good example to understand it from a psychological view. to understand the authority problem in general.

it made me decide to not feel guilty  for my country anymore but to keep what happened here as an example.

 

what really helped me to free my mind as well was the identification with for example anne frank. she was a child, i was a child. we were closer to each other than what was happening around us. 

as children we are thrown in to such situations without our doing, our surrounding can be so poisonous.

because i could identify with others stepping in their shoes - i started to be a world citizen. some years ago i even was exited about a design idea of a personal worldcitizen passport. it helps me in my imagination of really being one. i try to be a responsible one. even though that's difficult in reality.

http://www.worldservice.org/docpass.html

you can apply for one here :D it's just phantasy, but it's really nice phantasy. (even though the world seems to swing in the other direction, maybe there is a way to synthesize it)

thats one of the positive aspects the eu has done in reality for us - a lot of people who only see the negative aspects forget how much freedom we gained with the eu. it's a chance to identify with each other.

maybe a free universe citizenship passport would be the next level of imagination.

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i think about the neverending story again how nothingness eats up the ivory tower. it's sad but there will be a new story. and a symbole like the statue of liberty.

it has always been there waiting for us to see it.

if we manage to understand the ivory tower as something we have built in our phantasy. with our phantasy.

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did i tell that i always wanted to be named butterfly ? as a child, i hoped my thoughts might be one that is considered. 

again how could someone think and produce a strangeloop with that? it's  so paradox just the thought of it. but the wish stays in the heart. once we've made it.

i think that's why it is important to teach children how to wish for peace and freedom. from all their heart.

if not already confronted with a poisonous surrounding, they will understand it intuitively.

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i just started to read about hannah ahrendt yesterday. she was not a philosopher and not a politician but a teacher and journalist. think she didn't do fake news ☺️ 

but if, we would still have to take her as a teacher, a philosopher and  a politician.

she was clever, she would let everyone decide for themselves.

she was a catch 44 herself.

if i compare myself to her i think i‘m not that great, i‘m just a designer and artist. but maybe we are all philosophers in a way, some better, some worse.

for strong women characters i also like ricarda huch and george sand. ricarda huch for one poem and george sand for a movie that was made of her biography. i never managed to read her books :| but i liked, she was wearing mans clothes during a time when that was unthinkable.

the ricarda huch poem is about pain.

 

not all pains are dissolvable,

because some are sneaking deeper  and deeper inside of our hearts,

where they manifest as stones,

spring may come with warmth and light, 

the world becomes a blossoming field,

but in our hearts there is a part that doesn’t bloom anymore.

 

something like that ? it’s a very bad poetic translation. in german it‘s very beautiful.

i always liked it while growing up - because that is how life works on us. if we don’t manage to dissolve our pains. they will just stay stuck there forever.

that‘s why we have to understand where they come from.

a heart that doesn’t bloom or a world that is painful.

we can make our hearts bloom by letting it bloom for the real problems of our world.

and that‘s something that can be done.

Edited by now is forever

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i totally forgot to give an explanation about a catch 22

i found this article:

https://www.google.de/amp/amp.slate.com/articles/life/the_spectator/2011/08/seeing_catch22_twice.html

in general a catch-22 is a paradox situation someone is stuck in - for me it was my society, history of my country, family, life itself.

but in contrast to the character in the book, in peace and life, i found a god where there might be none and found meaning where there is supposed to be none.

well and there is the paradox of existence itself. so now i saw it 4 times. ? it’s a never ending story.

and it wants to be told. even though it might be a mystery or a farce.

 

anyway it has endless possibilities and still is as it is, we should better make a choice, what we want it to be.

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today i realized how difficult it is to touch someone’s heart if the other person doesn’t want to hear what is said. and doesn’t open their own heart. i wanted to consolidate with a person in my life.

 

we started to do a non debating challenge in the forum. that’s where the mindset came from.

i realized if there is still some parts inside the heart that are not blossoming - they will just hurt us, even though we talk with an open heart.

i think that’s why it is so important to choose kind words if we reply to someone who openes up their heart.

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i must admit, just bought the life purpose course, because if i don‘t want to get eaten up by my past, i really have to get my hands on the future. now

because the now is the only thing that holds me in distance to it. and if there is only the now how will i ever get to the future skipping the now. 

that‘s why meditation is only good for understanding oneself better. or understanding the nature of emptyness or being a guru or a teacher or a philosopher or a buddhist monk or nun. i already knew that actually.

but it‘s no life purpose - except one wants to be outside of the world and separated from society. but there is a way of synthesis. and it already is available. we just have to get our hands dirty.

 

the vision is already there i just have to do it - it‘s about design and art and people

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ahimsa the art of peaceful change

image.jpg

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today i learned such a harsh lesson again. maybe i will never be released from my past. at one moment i wish for peacful change, want to start a business, the other moment reality is floating in.

how will i ever step out of it, some things i can not do with my hands, just with my wishes.

i do sunsalutation for that. maybe i should start meditation too. and pursue enlightenment.

i‘m too distracted with my consciousness problems.

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in my lifes review, i thought about the ddr and the cold war today. in my house still lives a person who lived here during that time. he told a story about how they found a bug in their telephone years after the wall was gone.

it‘s interesting that time, there is a movie called life of the others. it showes how these people might have felt, while watching. i can totally recommend it.

there is even a museum in berlin. where they show how all their tools were constructed - there are some small cameras on the fleamarket, too.

today it’s drones and other gadgets. i even wonder if there are still people behind and what they might feel like. are they still humans?

i sometimes would like to hear their opinion. but that would never happen it always was like that. they are driven by the machines, the machines are their matrix.

i just wish they would do some more yoga and work on their spirituality and find out about the universe and the essence of being. and skip it all together. i guess they are probably nice guys. and the lazy people on the other side are just boring - better watch a movie.

because in times of peace who exactly needs stuff like that.

emptyness is form and form is emptyness. there is no other thing than emptyness in form. except if there is still a heart pounding ?

is there?

i‘ll never get that answer. unfortunately maybe our children will. like we know about the past now.

or maybe we won‘t because the earth is slowly collapsing. 

we had a psychotic warm spring this year and the bees are dying. icebergs are melting the world is haunted by hurricanes and floods and war. it‘s like the day before the day of judgement. i‘m wondering if it can be interpreted like that. if we don‘t change our ways now i think it will be like that.

i wonder what it was that was wheighed that day...

maybe the athman, the soul, the consciousness maybe the heart. if it is all one. isn’t it all the same - better start real spiritual work now to meet god in advance or to find out it‘s nothing. 

that‘s easy for someone to say who found god where there was none.

even the church is talking about the last days now.

 

am i egocentrical again? i think i can even see them on the other side ? eating their popcorn ? 

wonder how many times they were disgusted by what they saw or heard knowing it was all themselves they were seeing.

guess i applied to be a test bunny long before - what should i hide what they might not already know.

that‘s what we learned from the ddr.

manipulation, too, it will just come back at us like a strangeloop. ?

 

we want it to be utopia and what we get sometimes is dystopia. 

that‘s how humans have always been. we have to stay on the ground for that - relate to reality - that means nature stripped off of everything human made. even of it‘s clothing. nothing is better than real life experience of what christians call eden.

what we destroy. 

also something they loved in the ddr. fkk

(free body cult)

Edited by now is forever

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