now is forever

living a catch 22

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Posted (edited)

wrote this oneliner with 16 - looking back i think i was smart back then:

„träumst du deinen traum denn nich, wie jeder hier auf erden?“

don‘t you dream your dream, as everyone on earth?

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Posted (edited)

if we skip the responsibility part - i‘m certainly a long bleader.

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Posted (edited)

have weird experiences with animals these days - maybe because i see them more conscious now. even see their traces - and dogs seem to love me (runs in the family). 

saw a really nice dragonfly the other day it sat on a tree, it had one wing broken, but could still fly - but it didn’t too much so i could face it. tried to see it’s face and it looked almost like it was communicating, it’s head was moving while watching i guess. really amazing. 

it didn’t have a special colour but it was one of the bigger ones. i remembered how my mother has this small pond behind her house, where dragonflies put their eggs - so in late summer there where always some around our house - even saw one with a red corral colour once - it looked like a flying coral. one of the most beautiful things i’ve ever seen.

yesterday i got visited by three bats - they were flying around in the living/bedroom in circles. why did they come? for the light? or the warmth? it blew my mind of - i was scared i might hurt them or they might hurt themselves - but then i realized they can navigate in the dark, and also fly in caves and i put the light of and left the room. and they disappeared one after the other. 

aren’t they cute?

since i’m here i always interpreted something into nature. and i still do, but on the second thought - i just say: come on, and have to lough about my ignorance.

i can’t prove something that doesn’t want to be proved.

Edited by now is forever
no joking, that really happened in reality

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Posted (edited)

sometimes i don‘t know what’s better, the courency has always been heartblead - so i do both, sometimes. and try to do the second one for now here.

because it‘s now or never. unfortunately no fitting song for it to be found.

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Posted (edited)

maybe this one...

but it‘s more a: make it happen, for me, something recommendable for every dreamer out there. could also post pink floyd’s the wall now but i‘m not against education in general so it‘s more the „anybody out there?“ track (more a rethorical question) and i promised:

 

                             silence

 

 

 

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Posted (edited)

true silence is when you ask questions and get answers for it. the opposite of silence is when you give answers and just get more questions.

possibilities are options of reality. if everything is possibly real, reality seems to vanish - if possibilities are unprovable against reality, they seem to be indefinite options for possible realities, usually we let them go as impossible, except for the bright ones, they change from option to dream and sometimes we don‘t prove them because of the fear of loosing them.

and sometimes because they shine so bright, but seem so far away like stars.

thanks for lending me a teleskope is all that seems to be left to say. if a star says thank you for watching. and turns the light off. sad moon.

i guess that’s why wolves stop howling.

Edited by now is forever
at the end of material philosophy = the end of the mother of thought, said the holy family and turned the world upside down, for us to walk in the clouds.

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Posted (edited)

did i tell one of the bats came back - it flew the shape of an eight this time - circling in one room first and then through the door circling in another room and back - in the one room it flew counter clockwise and had to turn clockwise in the other one - naturally.

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Posted (edited)

if the clouds disappear we use the stars as stepping stones. may our hands shape the world. consciously.

although before we can walk on our hands we have to learn to walk on our own feet first, in both worlds. or in four.

soul, body, mind and world. while the world contains them and relates to all three of them. in indefinite loops.

and has a multitude of possibilities to offer.

keep your eyes on the suns, your heart on the moon, your body in balance by flowering it and hold the strings in one hand, a sieve in the other.

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Posted (edited)

just watched the „how to contemplate in a journal“ video. sets the mind to a rest really. finally stops that endless circulation of sifting/winnowing.

did i ever talk about tools? like hammers, screwdrivers, japanese saws? guess not but they are helpful to work on wood :ph34r: you can’t shape it on the ceramic wheel. it’s hardware. good insight...

THE END

(of the first chapter, this journal)

 

Edited by now is forever
all thanks go to the tale of the frog prince. don’t swallow that poison to often. said the snail 🐌

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Posted (edited)

wait a minute why do i think of a yellow apple when he talks about a red apple, then he talks about a yellow lemon. and i think about a yellow apple and a yellow lemon. then he has a tounge twist and talks about a yellow apple and a yellow lemon and next time i just forcefully paint the lemon red, to have something to lough about. all this after the video was made but the apple was originally yellow because i chose the one that we plugged in my childhood most often. that’s one thought, for picture thinkers. yes that’s a strange loop.

if there wouldn’t have been a colour think i wouldn’t have thought in konkrete apple colour, i might have thought about it symbolically.

now i see a 3d red apple 🍎 on a grid. on a computer screen. in my mind. virtually.

prequel or sequel. who knows what was first.

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Posted (edited)

finally found a fools song, i really like because it fits so well. fits the movie as well. the word fool is not appearing. i like it because it‘s a very broadly interpretable song and full of contrast - guess everyone could find some truth in it.

 

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