Dealing with Ego backlash

[PT89]

I've found that my spiritual journey has isolated me a little bit from society.  I moved to Sydney, Australia from Canada to study physiotherapy a year and half ago and it's been difficult having no support or not really finding many people that I'm connecting with given my interests (anyone I mention meditation or spirituality to seems totally disinterested, it's a very catholic, far right leaning country, and the culture has little interest in ice hockey or psychedelics for the most part . 

I've diligently been meditating 20+ minutes every day for about the past year and a half, looking forward to Leo''s videos each week as they always bring me back to some form of self reflection and focus in my life.

The ego backlash concept is something that I have noticed a lot and I find very challenging to deal with.  I feel for me it happens when my mind gets to a point where it doesn't want to endure suffering anymore, and demands I cave in and give it what it wants - a bunch of addictions.   Then eventually through the process, my awareness overcomes this and I get back on the right path.  But this cycle has repeated itself so many times, and I'd like to see if other people have unique experiences/tips to helping overcome this.

 The one time I managed to avoid it was after an exam being extremely upset because it hadn't gone as planned and obviously felt I could have done much better.  It was incredible how upset I was over something so small because I knew I'd passed the course already.  But rather than letting my emotions drive me to distraction city (facebook, chess, whatever) I decided to contemplate on why I was so upset for about an hour, then meditated for another two hours.  I just sat there and decided to face the negative emotions head on.  The result was pretty incredible... I came out of it feeling as though I was experiencing everything for the first time.  I was in awe of the simplest of things, from eating a sandwich to even the feeling of gravity pulling me down.  I started watching some youtube videos on what I was feeling and felt a deep sense of connection and love for everyone on the screen.  It was total bliss, somewhat similar to an experience i'd had on psychedelics, but toned down a little bit.

My most recent insight is that when we go into these backlashes, our emotions > conscious awareness.  Our actions become ruled by how we're feeling and we go into our more primitive way of being.  I think the only way to ever overcome this (and I'd like to hear other people's perpsectives) is to get to a point where conscious awareness >>> emotions no matter how strong they are.  I can't emphasize Leo's message enough that you NEED to build a consistent meditation practice,  IMO only awareness can help you dig yourself out of your ego's holes.  

 

[aurum]

@PT89

I've found the only real solution is just to sit with it, get present, and NOT get lost in the story of my thoughts. My mind wants to come up with all sorts of reasons why these emotions are "real" and "justified". It's this fun game we play.

 

[Leo Gura]

1) It will happen, just accept it. This journey is often 2 steps forward, 1 step backward. Sometimes 2 steps backward. Sometimes 3 steps backward. The key is to just keep going and re-commit yourself every new day.

2) Have a strong vision and think about it frequently. So you have some noble beckoning you.

3) Pace yourself intelligently. If you bite off too much too fast, you're actually slow down your progress. You need to learn -- through trial and error -- just how much change you're able to stomach in a given week, month, year. The more noble and compelling your vision, the more change you will be able to stomach. When my vision is really HOT, I find myself able to make lots of changes and they stick pretty well. When my vision is weak, I find myself backsliding a lot.

4) Learn to be your own cheerleader. When you fail and backslide, learn how to console yourself, reassure yourself, and cheer-lead your spirits back up. Learn positive self-talk rather than dumping all over yourself.

5) Mindfulness is huge

6) Psychedelics are huge. I've found that nothing gets me in touch with my authentic motivations better than psychedelics. They clear out all the extraneous materialistic crap. Although they too can have their own backlashes.

[AlwaysBeNice]

2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

6) Psychedelics are huge. I've found that nothing gets me in touch with my authentic motivations better than psychedelics. They clear out all the extraneous materialistic crap. Although they too can have their own backlashes.

Indeed.

I find it sometimes mind boggling that can people have so little interest in this work, but I'm sure if it wasn't for my psychedelic glimpses, I would have been a normal chap and it would have been very challenging to leave the materialist indoctrination, let alone believing enlightenment was something that is real or in reach for myself.

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Also a bit unrelated but on my last 5-MeO experiences I had the thought, that a psychedelic induced mystical experience is so proper for most people, because if you would get a glimpse like that sober 99% of the people would probably be able to handle not well (given it's already a tough pill when you know your on safe & 'short' 5-MeO): being convinced you are permanently insane, being killed, 'this shouldn't happen', 'why it's happening to you', overthinking theories about the universe and your life, making too radical decisions etc. 

Very sure this is why mystical experiences are so rare for people sober until they are settled deeply enough in themselves.

-

But yeah, because of their intensity, it's still a 'risk' in a sense for people as well for how they will handle it during & after. But as for becoming serious about this path, surely it's a good choice.

 

 

[Leo Gura]

@AlwaysBeNice There's a good reason they were quickly banned in the late 60's. People's minds were being opened too easily, and that doesn't bode well for the status quo and the egos in power.

But also ordinary people abuse them too easily, misunderstanding the truth being shown.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Leo Gura Is there a point to take psychadelics now when you experienced what is?

[Leo Gura]

@NoSelfSelf Yes, there is much more to see and understand.

[Leo Gura]

@Mighty Mouse I always leave room for broader and deeper.

[Leo Gura]

@Mighty Mouse The elephant has many parts.

[John]

@Leo Gura How can one have a vision for the enlightened life? What does that look like for the spiritual seeker? Isn't every image false and misleading?

[PT89]

Leo thanks for the tips, will definitely make note of those.  Also thank you so much for doing what you do, I'm sure I'm not the only one incredibly grateful for having personal development introduced into their lives. 

I find it baffling how many people (friends, family) I've tried to ease into this path by showing them the first video that got me into it - the no bullshit guide to meditation.  They can't seem to muster the discipline to do 10- 20 minutes a day for even a week, yet it's such a simple step that opens so many doors and teaches so much early on.  A lot of the more advanced material I find gets dismissed as "hippie" as well for anyone not doing the actual development work.