How to get rid of bad influences?

[RawJudah]

Hi all,

I’ve been struggling with this one for quite some time now, and I’m asking this as I literally don’t have a clue what to do. So if anyone’s been through this then I hope you can help...

I’ve got some ‘friends’ that are just distracting me from my personal growth and all they want to do is go drinking/doing drugs. They usually message me asking if I want to go out and I find it incredibly difficult to say no, because they know that I don’t have much else to do. It’s ruining my mental and physical health and I know that this way of life isn’t sustainable, and if I ask them if they want to do something that doesn’t involve alcohol/drugs then I just get turned down/laughed at.

Anyone else been in this situation? How can I get out of these relationships? 

I know there are others out there like me, but where do I start? 

I’m from the UK too, and binge drinking is in our ‘culture’. Maybe that’s why it’s so hard to escape the alcohol and bad influences? 

Any help would be much appreciated.

[ajasatya]

@RawJudah become 'friend'less and make a real friend: yourself.

let go. face the loneliness that you already feel.

[Nahm]

@RawJudah there’s nothing hard about this, you’re just misinterpreting your situation a little. When you think about what they or anyone thinks, remember to honest with yourself & admit you have no idea what anyone else thinks. Even if they’re telling you, you still don’t know. So let that go. Then you can shift your focus to what you want. When you stay focused on what you want, you are no longer focused on the problem, and are free of it. 

It’s not them texting you, or wantin to hang with you that is frustrating. They’re where they are, they’re just having fun and want you to have fun with them. You want a deeper experience for yourself in this life. One’s not better or worse. That should free up your mind a little more to stay on what you want. What’s frustrating, is realizing we aren’t focusing on what we want as we could be. Texts like that make us realize this. Only wanted, and, therefore, only wanted. Mind & life.

[AleksM]

@RawJudah

Block their telephone numbers and don't look back.   You Will never regret it. NEVER!

There is a spiral that goes down, and one that goes up. Stagnation is a myth. If you are hanging out with friends that are not improving their life in any way, and they are promoting and projecting this paradigm of thinking onto you, you Will go down with them. If you are allowing their thoughts to influence yours, then you are supporting and promoting these mental patterns. Don't be a thief of beliefs, if you truly believe that what they're doing is not good, stand up for that. Know where your responsibility starts and where it ends.

You have to assert your personal boundaries. You assert your boundaries with the Word NO. You don't need to be courageous all the time, you just need to gather courage for a few seconds to say the Word NO.

[RawJudah]

@AleksM I guess you’re right. In the past I’ve had a tough time saying No, because I suppose I like seeing people, i just need to meet and hangout with people that will help me to grow/influence me in better ways.

Also, I know I need to come face to face with being lonely, I can grasp the idea of how we are all alone truthfully, but it’s facing that head on and dealing with it in better ways.

thanks to you all for the advice!

[Joseph Maynor]

What are your top 5 goals for self-improvement right now?  Give me a list.